I Married An Earthling: A Novel [Paperback]

Alvin Orloff (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: 2000

In this rollicking send-up of traditional science fiction, an Earth Studies professor from the planet Zeeron decides to increase his university status by visiting Earth accompanied by Veeba 22, a chic hairdresser of the highest social order. What happens when they are mistaken for evil villains instead of fabulous celebrities? How do they escape to San Francisco, where they blend in surprisingly well? All hell breaks loose when they cross paths with the adolescent agony of Chester Julian, a gay Goth Holden Caulfield with acne. Part Jacqueline Susann romantasy, part cheesy Lost in Space episode, this gay comedy will delight any fan of pop culture literature.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A cross between Star Trek and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Orloff's debut novel imagines first contact with an alien race known for its benevolence and its outrageously good fashion sense. The result is a thoroughly original genre of fictionAqueer sci-fi social commentary. Told in alternating first-person narratives, the novel traces the journeys of two smart and sassy misfits, born worlds apart. Here on Earth, Chester Julian, an out-of-the-closet queer goth high-school senior, is battling teenage homophobes and the banality of suburban culture. Meanwhile, on the campy planet Zeeron (where all the most powerful people are hairdressers), an Earth Studies scholar named Norvex 7 is fighting to prove that Earthlings aren't as unevolved (that is, unfashionable and humorless) as his colleagues think. Orloff (a UC-Berkeley grad student, a writer and a DJAall of which shows) tells the story of Norvex's journey to Earth and Chester's journey into adulthood skillfully, through insightful, lively prose and believable, adorable characters. Along the way, he delivers depictions of teenage subcultures, San Francisco's gay pick-up scene and American sitcoms that rival even the best nongenre literary social commentary. Meanwhile, his intricate, invented Zeeron culture demonstrates the untapped queer possibilities lurking in SF. Despite a predictable plotAin the end, Norvex 7 and Chester meet, fall in love and marryAthis novel is a delight. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Paperback: 254 pages
• Publisher: Manic D Press, Inc.; 1st edition (2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0916397645
• ISBN-13: 978-0916397647
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,466,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Alvin Orloff began writing in 1977 as a teenage lyricist for The Blowdryers, an early San Francisco punk band. He spent all of the 1980s and much of the 1990s dabbling in performance art, underground theater, night clubs, political activism, and cabaret, and zine writing before remembering that all he'd ever wanted to be was a novelist. His first work, I Married an Earthling, came out in 2000 and his second, Gutter Boys, in 2004. His latest novel, Why Aren't You Smiling? releases in fall 2011. His day job is managing Dog Eared Books, a literary hot-spot in the heart of San Francisco's über-trendy Mission District.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Dreamy, dishy...and thought-provoking, too, July 24, 2000

By 

M. Ewert "Marcus Ewert" (San Francisco, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I Married An Earthling: A Novel (Paperback)

Alvin Orloff (redactor extraordinaire of the must-read memoir The Unsinkable Bambi Lake) has crafted a surprisingly nutritive bon-bon with this spiffy book. Framed via the interlocking journal entries of two hyper-intelligent misfits (one on Earth, one not), I Married An Earthling! critiques cultural norms like ignorance, violence and predictable sit-coms with a marvelous outlook I'll call "Ethical Camp." Not content to curse the darkness, Orloff instead lights a brave lava-lamp, inspiring all of us queer-at-heart folk with visions of other worlds where Aesthetics triumph. All this and a nerd love-story too. What more could you want?

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Sassy sci-fi, August 28, 2000

By 

"blissengine" - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Married An Earthling: A Novel (Paperback)

Orloff's campy sci-fi frolic is perfect summer reading. Norvex 7 is a professor of Earth studies on a planet known for its cosmic fabulosity, and he travels to Earth accompanied by one of the most famous hairdressers in the galaxy. He and his friends are stunned by America's bland fashion sense, and eventually come to San Francisco, where they find some relief. Norvex crosses paths with Chester, a gay goth teen with poor self-image but excellent fashion sense, and the two spark a galactic incident with their torrid affair. Like all excellent camp, this is delightfully sprinkled with smart and sassy observations on culture and life. I had some trouble at first getting into it, but it certainly drew me in as I went deeper into it.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Uplifting, campy, sci-fi adventure!, September 11, 2004

By 

Abby Denson "Abbycomix" (NYC, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I Married An Earthling: A Novel (Paperback)

This is one of my all-time favorite books. When I'm feeling down it never fails to cheer me up! The Utopian planet of Zeeron was totally compelling and the Earthlings were equally delightful! Buy this book now if you know what's good for you!