Customer Reviews

The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Let me just say, as a feminist, I found so much of it to be revolting and awful.

I stayed up all Saturday night reading it. I was irritated and pissed off at times, yet I could not put it down. At the end I thought, eh, it's only $20. I finally went to bed. Yesterday we all went out for Easter brunch and I found myself thinking about it. Thinking about the book and thinking about the author.

Why? Why would a book that (to me) in essence was a guide on how married men can get what they want sexually, often through manipulation consume my thoughts? All damn day I thought about this book. This goes against everything I believe in, so why was your book on my mind?

My husband is a VERY good looking man, think Tom Brady good looking. He is incredibly attractive. 6'3", green eyes, blondish brown hair/full head, a member of Mensa and makes six figs. His genetics alone are what women would kill for. So why is it then that for me (the higher sex drive person), sex is just eh and I often don't want it. It's good sex but it isn't great sex. It isn't his technique either. 17 years married, he has my inner tickings down well.

It hit me like a torpedo last night after everybody else had gone to bed. I want the Captain husband and me as his First Mate. I am tired of being the person in control. I never wanted it in the first place, he assumed I did as he saw this dynamic with his parents. I am tired of words vs. actions. He always says I turn him on, I am the one he wants, I am sexy. He doesn't back it up with action though. His "action" is to wait and see, a very unsexy trait. He is very dominant in his career, so clearly he has the ability. I want him to be dominant in our relationship. I want my husband to say "be ready at 10 pm, wearing these heels and this lingerie" instead of "are you staying up?". I want the directive and the passion that comes across with it. I would literally be putty in his hands if he told me instead of asked.

What the hell has happened to me? Your book. A brilliant and very well written guide to getting what you want in marriage. I know this now and I feel it is the best $20 I have ever spent. It made me realize a lot about myself and about what I want. My husband is now reading it. Perhaps he will have a takeaway as I did or perhaps not. At least I will benefit either way, for me.

This is one of the most liberating books I have ever read. Pop culture would have males believe that speaking up for themselves and being a leader is somehow demeaning to women.

The feminist movement has for too long purported that the sensitive male is what women really want. They do. Everyone needs emotional closeness. But women also want men to be men. Women want men to lead. Testosterone is not the evil that the pop psychologists would have you believe. Being a man is not about demeaning or dominating or abusing your mate. It is about being a leader.

My wife is an immensely talented highly valuable career woman. Yet she wants me to be the leader at home.

The book gives married men good advice on being a better leader at home.

If you have the feeling that somewhere along the way the rules of marriage have been changed on you, read this book. Athol Kay helped me understand that I had been playing by the wrong rules all along - the reality is that I have gone through most of my life with a set of assumptions about men and women that is simply wrong.

His book described my situation so clearly and gave me such sensible advice that I have no choice but to give it five stars. I would rather give it ten. Now I have to put it into practice. That will not be easy, but having a clear understanding of my situation and what I can do to fix it is an immeasurable gift. Someday I'll pass this book on to my own son and I can't give any higher praise than that.

This coming from a woman, Athol's book takes the cake. After following his blog for awhile, I immediately purchased the book when it was released. The information comes from his blog(with some added info) and is very well organized. Athol's writing is blunt and personal and his style makes the book very easy to read. Some "self help" or marriage books are wordy and a chore, but this book is to the point and easy to get caught up in. Athol really gets women and what turns us on. Good grief, I got turned on just reading the book. I'm not quite sure how any woman could resist a man who follows this plan. And anyone who can describe this book as bashing women or demeaning them clearly hasn't read the book. There is no demeaning of either gender, simply clear and concise differentiation. At our core, men are men and women are women. To argue otherwise is just foolish. Athol's book takes those differences into account and gives husbands a guide to interact with their wives in a way that we just can help but respond to.

While trying to repair my marriage, I stumbled across Athol Kay's blog ([...]), and became a daily follower. I love the blunt manner in which Mr. Kay communicates his information. Unfortunately, by the time I found his great advice, it was too late for my husband and myself, but I continued to follow the blog to help me in future relationships. I bought the book for this reason. It's an easy, fun read, full of great information. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in having/maintaining a good sex life. It's full of good reminders and ways to keep your relationship on track. Athol, I hope you're considering a Married Woman Sex Life book in the future!

I wish this book had been around a long time ago.

Some people make marriage look easy. I don't. We celebrated our 10th anniversary this year, and it's been a bumpy ride.

I've read tons of books on marriage, mostly from a Christian perspective. I've read Love and Respect, His Needs, Her Needs, The Christian Husband, several Dobson books, Love Languages, and many others I don't have time to count. Under the theory that reading three books on any subject makes you an expert (as many people barely read one book on a single subject), I should have multiple doctorates in the study of marriage. Yet I've struggled.


I've been reading a lot about game lately. Vox Day started writing about it on his blog. Then he started a blog specifically devoted to game. Then I started reading other blogs. Then Vox wrote a brief review of the book "Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011". I checked out the corresponding blog, and bought the Kindle version of the book. It's tremendously helpful to me.

I'll attempt to explain game, but I've only been reading about it for a couple of months. Others can do a better job. Check out Alpha Game Plan, Roissy, and of course Athol Kay's Married Man Sex Life blog (now behind an adult content warning thanks to mindless anonymous coward complaints. Game attempts to break down into easy to remember rules how women think and act, and how men can work with it. Some game blogs are written from the attempt to manipulate women. Others simple to understand why they do what they do and deal with it. Some are written specifically for guys seeking to sleep with as many women as possible. Athol Kay's is the most married friendly site, although I'm attempting to synthesize points from all the game blogs I read into my own worldview and framework.

Under game, men are broken into categories, usually Alpha and Beta. Vox Day's Alpha Game Plan, which focuses on a Socio-Sexual Hierarchy rather than only a sexual hierarchy, has more categories. I believe I fit somewhere between a Delta and a Gamma on Vox Day's hierarchy. I'm mostly a beta on the binary (alpha-beta) hierarchy, for whatever that's worth.

Once the categories are defined and the characteristics of each are laid out, it's supposed to be possible to improve your ranking, and therefore your appeal to women, even your own wife.

On to the book review. Athol Kay is a male nurse. He's been married for 16 years and has two daughters. He boasts of having had sex with his wife more than 5000 times in those 16 years.

In the book, he lays out what he's learned, and how he improved his own marriage. His work has helped countless men (and some women). In many cases, the wife will come across the blog and site and try to get her husband to read it, because apparently Athol is onto something about what women really want in a husband.

The book is divided into four parts. Part One, Chapters 1-5, is "What She Really Wants". This is where he explains the basics of his game plan, how it works, and why it works. He explains women's cycles, "The Body Agenda", what Alpha and Beta male traits are, and Sex Rank.

Part Two is "The Male Action Plan (MAP). This spans chapters 6-16. He talks about how to improve your body, mind, health, and leading your wife and children. He doesn't just give theory like many marriage books. He gives solid tips and examples you can implement.

Part Three is "The Sexy Moves". It consists of chapters 17-24. These are the romantic and erotic moves you can put on your wife and how to do them. It's taken me years to figure out that it's my place to initiate. I've been treating romance like a democracy, and it kills the mood.

Part Four is "When Push Comes to Shove". In some cases, things have already come unraveled by the time the man gets this book. This is how to deal with those types of situations. It consists of Chapters 25-29.

Finally, Chapters 30 and 31 provide a summary of the book with "Ten Things You Can Do Right Now" and the author's conclusion. He intends to update the book yearly as his own knowledge increases. I'm not sure what updates he can make, or how often the book has to be purchased to stay current. When I reviewed the "Revised and Expanded Wild At Heart", I physically compared the two books page by page to see what changed. I wasn't impressed with the few changes constituting the label of "revised and expanded". Hopefully, Athol Kay does a better job with his planned yearly revisions.

One more comment. Often when a blogger writes a book, the book is little more than previously written blog posts, perhaps organized into a book format. Sometimes the blogger doesn't even do that much work. Several posts are slapped into a book in whatever order they happen to fall. I don't get that sense with "Married Man Sex Life Primer". I haven't read back through Athol's past blog posts yet, and I get the sense the book and blog compliment each other very well. I've added the blog to my RSS feeds in Google Reader.

This book has the potential to help marriages everywhere that may be lacking in the sizzle. It's basically a self improvement book for men to recognize how and why they are who they are, and recommends improvements to make in themselves with the goal of improving their married sex lives. I can say with first hand experience that his approach and techniques work and have added a quick spark into an already great marriage. I would recommend this book to any couple who is interested in gender roles of married men and those interested in having a healthier relationship and sex life with their spouse.

We may not like human nature but it is what it is.

This book shows men how to be better husbands so they can get more of what they want out of the marriage. But it also leads I believe to much better relationships.

It is a "must" for men who want to improve their married life. Some of it is a bit repetitive but it is very well written, has a lot of humor (who can forget the "rationalization hamster" for example?) and spells things out like it is.

If you have noticed these pick-up artist books, and have read one or two of them, you know that men and women relate in a certain way due to how we are genetically put together, our programming.

This book simply takes that type of information and shows you how to apply it. You, the man, make yourself better, and you become more attractive to your wife. You are both happier.

Manipulative? Well, if you can do something that leads to a better you and a better marriage, what's wrong with that? Don't we do everything (including have children) because it makes us feel better about ourselves?

If this is manipulation, bring it on!

I don't remember exactly how I cam across this book, I think I found Athol's blog and ordered the book from there, but I know that my wife and I have been having ongoing problems for years and I was ready to get out.

Enter the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. I blasted through the book in two days, Athol's style is informal and accessible (most of the content is modified from the blog) that makes this book an easy read despite a ton of content.

After reading the book I realize that being the "nice guy" husband isn't enough to get my needs met in the marriage and have started the "plan" to bettering myself. My wife responded positively almost immediately, but was confused at how abrupt the change was. I'm in a constant battle with myself right now, trying to undo years worth of self-defeating behaviors that I thought would help. Trust me, it's worth it.

Guys, I can not recommend this book highly enough. Athol provides a fresh new way of looking at your relationship and gives biological, evolutionary, and otherwise completely rational explanations for how relationships work.

If your wife has shut down on you and you're feeling trapped, the problem may not be that you just aren't doing enough housework, like I've seen other books recommend, but that you aren't giving your wife a man that is worth being attracted to.

In sum, if you're willing to put forth some effort, this book works. If you aren't getting what you want out of the marriage, try this first. It will save you a ton of money that you'll be spending on hookers or lawyers.

My overall reaction to this book is that it's both fascinating and appalling. In some ways it's sexist, but much of what seems sexist is actually true (wives generally do want their husbands to be strong, confident, a little bit Alpha - even if they won't admit it). Some of the advice goes against my religious beliefs, but a lot of it lines up with those beliefs - so I can go with the latter and ignore the former. It's written primarily for husbands who want to have more and better sex with their wives, but almost any husband can benefit from the author's advice. As a wife, I learned a lot about men and relationships from this book, and found some fun information to share with my husband. If you want to have more and better sex in your marriage, buy this book, read it, and follow the advice that works for you.