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147 Reviews
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16 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Zero stars, if I could.
This book is just a big plug for the author's website, which is as snotty, catty and exclusive as the book. Now that I have looked around online, I have found that much of the information in this book is incorrect, and possibly even damaging to your servicemember's career. There's not much value in this book, unless you are interested in hearing one woman's very narrow...
Published on July 6, 2003

versus
65 of 72 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Well...I guess it might make good fire starter?
I bought this book because I thought the cover was cute--but that should have been my first notice that the insides would be worthless.

Every other page is filled with "check out my website for more help!" So I did, since the contents of the book certainly didn't contain any of the info I was searching for. What I found was far from helpful. The website is...
Published on August 10, 2005 by Annabelle Campbell


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65 of 72 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Well...I guess it might make good fire starter?, August 10, 2005
I bought this book because I thought the cover was cute--but that should have been my first notice that the insides would be worthless.

Every other page is filled with "check out my website for more help!" So I did, since the contents of the book certainly didn't contain any of the info I was searching for. What I found was far from helpful. The website is filled with cute designs, sappy stories, and that's about it. Upon venturing into the forums, however, I was appalled.

Phrases like "Filthy raghead" and "queer homos" littered the message boards. While the author of the book and her team of moderators are frequent visitors, they did nothing to remove these posts, therefor leading me to believe that they condone these thoughts. The drama is worse than high school.

PLEASE do not buy this book. The information contained in it is trivial--as a Navy girlfriend of less than 2 years, I knew everything in the book, due to common sense or a simple google search. It encourages young girls to revoke their life in order to support their husbands, which is not only wrong, but pathetic.

There are plenty of good books out there. This is not one of them.
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54 of 62 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Bored to Tears, December 10, 2003
By 
itsmemissab (North Carolina, USA) - See all my reviews
Having been an Army wife for 2 years and a fiancee for 2 years before that, I am always looking to learn more about how to cope with the difficulties of military life. My mother picked up this book for me because the cute cover caught her eye. Unfortunately, the cover is the only good thing about this book.
The author's tone is condescending throughout the book, and she talks down to readers, which is a real turn-off. Ms. Leyva obviously has no idea of the day to day struggles of average enlisted wives. Some of the information provided is false. [...] The book gives some cutesy information about how to act and how wonderful it is to support your man *rolls eyes*
Save your money, ladies! There are better books out there that will prepare you for the real military life...not the rosy picture painted in books.
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35 of 41 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars not worth it, August 10, 2005
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Basically, a shameless plug for the website, which isn't any different than the many others out there doing the same thing. The Chat Forums are full of ignorant and uneducated children who give out bad information left and right, which they probably got from the book. The book itself is not much, most of the information can be found on the web or at your local Family Support Center.
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37 of 45 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Because I couldn't give it LESS than one star, August 10, 2005
I found this book to be offensive on several levels. Other reviewers have mentioned these complaints, but I want people to know that it isn't just a handful of women who found the book repellent.

First off, it seems to support a 1950's mentality. Granted, it talks about working outsite the home, etc., but only if it may cause others to look up to you, supporting your husband's possible promotion. It also talks about advancing your husband's career and how to effectively suck up to his superiors. I could vomit.

Secondly, all of the information can be found elsewhere for free. Some of it is good information, I'll grant Ms. Leyva that, but there was nothing that really impressed me so much to think that this this book was worth the money that was paid for it.

Luckily, it was given to me as a gift. I've been known to re-gift from time to time, but I wouldn't even pass this one on! I value my friendships too much.

Also, as mentioned in other reviews, the book REALLY pushes its website, leading me to believe by the end of the book that it was nothing more than a giant write-up for the website. I visited the site, as the book suggested (over and over and over), and I was absolutely appalled by what I saw! I certainly will not be returning. I felt like I was in High School all over again--18 year old girls grouped off into the cool and not-cool, only on the site it's "the pregnant vs. the not", "the Navy vs. the others", etc. And it seems that some girls (very young and barely H.S. educated) go there really looking for guidance with serious military family issues and what they get instead is "cyberhugs" and "don't worry"'s. But that was not the worst of it. I then stumbled upon forums that seemed to be nothing more than political forums where people are openly racists and hateful toward others (I saw several posts that showed this intolerance to be especially true of Arabs). How they maintain their status as non-profit, I do not know. Leaving it up there for all to see is, in effect, condoning it and I was sickened.

I can say without fail that had I stumbled upon the website before hearing about the book, I definitely would not have read the book, and I'd recommend the same to others.
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30 of 36 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars SAVE YOUR MONEY, August 11, 2005
Okay, so I admit I have met military wives who believe the only reason to think about a career is so that you can support your husband's career. But I have also met women who are compassionate, articulate, intelligent women, whose husbands are in the military. This book does a horrible job supporting or even suggesting the opportunity that women who marry men in the military have the option to choose their own developmental path.

Offensive, does not begin to describe my feelings about this book. Ladies, if you are considering marrying someone who is in the military, do yourself a BIG favor and look up women who are living the lifestyle and ask them about it. Think objectively about the decision. Find people who will support YOUR goals and YOUR dreams. There are going to be people you encounter who will spout the drivel from this book like gospel truth and you need to be able to have your own sense of idenitity.

It is hard to have your own sense of self in a military organization, especially when things are often geared toward the moral and welfare of your spouse and not you. Therefore, you must become equipped with your own ideals, goals and dreams, and the strength to follow your heart even when no one will be there cheering for you. Stay away from drivel like this and invest in yourself. YOu can ask your spouse, ombudsman, and other wives for the essential info...like how to get power of attorney...and leave the rest of the "you must be this way" at the door.

That's just how I feel about it.
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30 of 37 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars [...], February 14, 2004
By 
Kimberly (Beale AFB, California) - See all my reviews
[...] I am an Air Force wife and after patiently reading the entire book, I found that nothing written in it pertained to any branch EXCEPT the Navy and Marines. If you are going to write a book, and name it "Married To The Military", you need to do just that...write about the military...ALL branches, not just the one your husband is in. IMO, Meredith should have named it "Married To The Navy", because that's what the book is about. [...] I give this book [...] 2 very big thumbs down!
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Seasoned wives are a wealth of information., July 23, 2006
By 
Meredith Leyva's book is decent guide for military spouses. Her book uniquely includes girlfriends and women in uniform in her target audience. It's easy to read with personal stories everything from kids to clothing etiquette and shopping.

There are some errors in her research (i.e. listing The Citadel as one of the United States service academies), and the book shouldn't really have been titled `Married to the Military' since most of her "advice" and "information" is geared toward the Navy/Marine wife (such as myself), not much to the Army or Air Force wives.... I will admit it is has a lot of Navy lingo and there is an excellent glossary in the back that clears things up. It is worth the thumbing to the end of the book to not have to read through yet negative book about the military lifestyle.

I would NOT recommend this book to a spouse who is new to the military. It is clear and evident that Leyva herself does not have the experience and personal knowledge of lending advice to those who marry into this complicated way of life. Her book seems to be more self-promoting than informational. Leyva provides information that is unrealistic, inaccurate and outdated. Rather, I would strongly advise 'newbies' to use more accurate and updated resources by visiting their family service centers on base and attending command seminars. Get involved in a spouse club and find out who are the REAL seasoned spouses are and feel free to ask as many questions as you need.
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Because there are a FEW good tips..., August 9, 2005
But I wouldn't recommend buying the book at all! If you do want to read it, get it at the library and glean what you can from it. The reason I say this, like other reviewers have said, is that buying this book also supports the companion website, where a "No Questions Asked" policy is clearly in effect. There are moderators who are *supposed* to, you know... MONITOR... what's going on, but racism and ignorance are allowed to roam free despite repeated complaints. It's a good old fashioned Boys' Club (or Girls' Club, in this instance) where racism and ignorance roam free.

Comments like "raghead" and "oh, I get it, it's their "culture" (said with disdain and spite)" are commonplace when speaking of foreigners and it is clear that despite the fact that it's a mouthpiece for a "non-profit" organization (whose practices have been questioned repeatedly), a certain political leaning is a requirement to be in good standing. The women there give a HORRIBLE name to the idea of Military Wife. The book has some good qualities, but as monies gained from it keep the website going, I would not recommend it. Giving to the KKK College Fund is just as easy, if supporting racism is your cup of tea.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I'd give it less it I good, January 16, 2007
Poorly written, numerous typos, and the content wasn't much better. Most of it was irrelevant to today's military spouse.

Written solely from the perspective of an insulated navy spouse, who has not had to deal with a deployment.

Advice was out of date at best, and downright wrong more often than not.

Seemed like a blatant advertisement for her website.

Do not buy this book, there are many many much better resources out there for the new military spouse.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible Resource, June 13, 2007
Ive been a military wife for quite a while and I found the information in this book to be horrifying in some parts. I find it hard to believe that the writer does not attempt to wear her husbands rank especially by saying that a CO's wife should not be friends with a junior enlisted wife. Why the heck not?? Unless of course you are are wearing your husbands rank. If each are nice women with a lot in common, who cares. Secondly, please tell me where you get paid lots of extra money when you get married? If she is talking about the housing allowance when you get married she didn't specify, even then you could live on base and not get any housing allowance, so Ive been a wife for a while now and Ive never seen extra money for being married, I wish she would inform us where to get that money. As I get further into the book I get more and more frustrated. The reason I picked this book up was to see whether or not to recommend it to incoming Marine Corps girlfriends, fiancees, and wives and now I would tell them to stay far far away from this book. Another thing she said was that if you are stationed on the East Coast then its a lot less likely that you will get orders to the Pacific. Sorry girl, the military sends you where they need you, they do not base it whatsoever on where you are now or where you want to go. We've gone from the East coast to Asia to the mid-US as have many many of our friends. I have only made it through the first few chapters and I am not sure if I can stomach the rest. If you were going to write a helpful book you should have done some research and be a lot less gender discriminate. I would never recommend this book
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Married to the Military: A Survival Guide for Military Wives, Girlfriends, and Women in Uniform
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