Customer Reviews

Married to the Military: A Survival Guide for Military Wives, Girlfriends, and Women in Uniform

5 star:		(52)
4 star:		(17)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(45)

 

 

I bought this book because I thought the cover was cute--but that should have been my first notice that the insides would be worthless.

Every other page is filled with "check out my website for more help!" So I did, since the contents of the book certainly didn't contain any of the info I was searching for. What I found was far from helpful. The website is filled with cute designs, sappy stories, and that's about it. Upon venturing into the forums, however, I was appalled.

Phrases like "Filthy raghead" and "queer homos" littered the message boards. While the author of the book and her team of moderators are frequent visitors, they did nothing to remove these posts, therefor leading me to believe that they condone these thoughts. The drama is worse than high school.

PLEASE do not buy this book. The information contained in it is trivial--as a Navy girlfriend of less than 2 years, I knew everything in the book, due to common sense or a simple google search. It encourages young girls to revoke their life in order to support their husbands, which is not only wrong, but pathetic.

There are plenty of good books out there. This is not one of them.

Having been an Army wife for 2 years and a fiancee for 2 years before that, I am always looking to learn more about how to cope with the difficulties of military life. My mother picked up this book for me because the cute cover caught her eye. Unfortunately, the cover is the only good thing about this book.

The author's tone is condescending throughout the book, and she talks down to readers, which is a real turn-off. Ms. Leyva obviously has no idea of the day to day struggles of average enlisted wives. Some of the information provided is false. [...] The book gives some cutesy information about how to act and how wonderful it is to support your man *rolls eyes*

Save your money, ladies! There are better books out there that will prepare you for the real military life...not the rosy picture painted in books.

Basically, a shameless plug for the website, which isn't any different than the many others out there doing the same thing. The Chat Forums are full of ignorant and uneducated children who give out bad information left and right, which they probably got from the book. The book itself is not much, most of the information can be found on the web or at your local Family Support Center.

Okay, so I admit I have met military wives who believe the only reason to think about a career is so that you can support your husband's career. But I have also met women who are compassionate, articulate, intelligent women, whose husbands are in the military. This book does a horrible job supporting or even suggesting the opportunity that women who marry men in the military have the option to choose their own developmental path.
Offensive, does not begin to describe my feelings about this book. Ladies, if you are considering marrying someone who is in the military, do yourself a BIG favor and look up women who are living the lifestyle and ask them about it. Think objectively about the decision. Find people who will support YOUR goals and YOUR dreams. There are going to be people you encounter who will spout the drivel from this book like gospel truth and you need to be able to have your own sense of idenitity.
It is hard to have your own sense of self in a military organization, especially when things are often geared toward the moral and welfare of your spouse and not you. Therefore, you must become equipped with your own ideals, goals and dreams, and the strength to follow your heart even when no one will be there cheering for you. Stay away from drivel like this and invest in yourself. YOu can ask your spouse, ombudsman, and other wives for the essential info...like how to get power of attorney...and leave the rest of the "you must be this way" at the door.
That's just how I feel about it.

I found this book to be offensive on several levels. Other reviewers have mentioned these complaints, but I want people to know that it isn't just a handful of women who found the book repellent.

First off, it seems to support a 1950's mentality. Granted, it talks about working outsite the home, etc., but only if it may cause others to look up to you, supporting your husband's possible promotion. It also talks about advancing your husband's career and how to effectively suck up to his superiors. I could vomit.

Secondly, all of the information can be found elsewhere for free. Some of it is good information, I'll grant Ms. Leyva that, but there was nothing that really impressed me so much to think that this this book was worth the money that was paid for it.

Luckily, it was given to me as a gift. I've been known to re-gift from time to time, but I wouldn't even pass this one on! I value my friendships too much.

Also, as mentioned in other reviews, the book REALLY pushes its website, leading me to believe by the end of the book that it was nothing more than a giant write-up for the website. I visited the site, as the book suggested (over and over and over), and I was absolutely appalled by what I saw! I certainly will not be returning. I felt like I was in High School all over again--18 year old girls grouped off into the cool and not-cool, only on the site it's "the pregnant vs. the not", "the Navy vs. the others", etc. And it seems that some girls (very young and barely H.S. educated) go there really looking for guidance with serious military family issues and what they get instead is "cyberhugs" and "don't worry"'s. But that was not the worst of it. I then stumbled upon forums that seemed to be nothing more than political forums where people are openly racists and hateful toward others (I saw several posts that showed this intolerance to be especially true of Arabs). How they maintain their status as non-profit, I do not know. Leaving it up there for all to see is, in effect, condoning it and I was sickened.

I can say without fail that had I stumbled upon the website before hearing about the book, I definitely would not have read the book, and I'd recommend the same to others.

I bought this book thinking it would help when my husband left for boot camp for the Air Force, I was so wrong! Not only is this book more for Navy (should be called Married to the Navy) but it is also very outdated! There are so many things discussed that doesn't even occur in the military anymore (not even in the Navy). The term "Stepford Wives" comes to mind when you read this book. Also it goes into how Officer and Enlisted wives should have nothing to do with each other. I, myself, have found that to be an archaic rule and no one follows it anymore! From what I can tell the book is a way of promoting her website; a website that does nothing to help military wives.

This book was not the least bit informative. I agree that it was a thinly veiled advertisement for the author's website, [...]. The snobby, condescending attitudes in the book, and the segregation of officers and enlisted is mirrored [...].

This book is strictly from an Navy Officer's wife, if you are looking for other acronyms or situations, or anecdotes that apply to enlisted look elsewhere. [...]

Those that are looking for good information should check out support groups on the MSN network, there are numerous groups out there that apply to particular branches of service and have seasoned and novice members to give sage advice. They are a great resource to build a support network. [...]

The pink camouflage cover should give a hint; if you're seriously looking for real life information and want it from an honestly expert source, check out Solo-Ops: A Survival Guide for Military Wives by Hilary Martin! She acknowledges all branches, and addresses real military lifestyle issues from crisis situations to daily routine in a factual, informative, and realistic way.
Married to the Military, however, seems written [...] to promote the web site. Sloppy editing suggests it was rushed through publishing [...] It is a fine book for the social group it was really written for...("look, my name is on it!"), but NOT for those of us who are looking for some real facts, a solid reference [...], and honest "like it or not" presentation, with an undercurrent of humorous familiarity...just like the military! [...]

I read this book a while ago, just found this site. I have to say that there are better books out there for military spouses. The author spends too much time on Navy centered information (she is a Navy spouse so this is to be expected) and much of her information on other branches is incorrect. What information she does have is readily available for free to anyone with time and a good internet connection.

When I bought this book I was new to the military lifestyle, as my fiancee had just joined the AF. So I saw the words "married" and "military" and figured it would be a useful book since I was in fact, marrying someone in the military. I was sorely mistaken. If you want to spend a lifetime oohing and aahing over your husbands military career, having babies, and attending cocktail parties with other military wives, then this is an excellent how-to book. If you prefer to be a partner in your marriage and have some ownership over your life, look elsewhere. Much of the information is incorrect, or not applicable to branches other than the Navy. And most of the book is a sing-songy anecdotal review of the authors life being married to a navy man. Any true information that you need is best found either from various offices on base, or from actual military websites. NOT from this book, and most definitely not from the authors "support site". The author gives women very little credit for their critical thinking and common sense skills.