Customer Reviews

Married with Special-Needs Children: A Couples' Guide to Keeping Connected

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This book is well-organized, well-written, full of excellent information, and inspires real hope. Hope for marriages that are struggling, and also hope for stable marriages that they can be even better. This book is so much more than the typical advice to "take time for yourselves," or "go on dates with your spouse." It's full of concrete suggestions and thought-provoking analogies that I read, and then re-read, because they really fit my life. This book surprised me by giving me more insight into my husband's mind-set, even after 6 years of parenting special-needs children. The focus of much of the book is problem solving, and successfully, even joyfully, adjusting to life with these special kids. The chapter on divorce considerations is very real, very practical, and goes way beyond what most books cover. All in all, this is a valuable resource for couples parenting special-needs children!

Written by professor of counseling Laura E. Marshak, Ph.D. and speech/language pathologist and parent trainer Fran Pollock Prezant, M.Ed., CCC-SLP, Married with Special-Needs Children: A Couples' Guide to Keeping Connected is a valuable guide for married couples to adjusting to raising a disabled child. From techniques for communication and problem-solving, to making time for romance and sexual intimacy, to practical solutions for practical problems (information overload, financial issues, time constraints, fatigue, etc.), to stress management strategies, what to do when a marriage is seriously troubled, divorce and remarriage considerations, and much more, Married with Special-Needs Children is utterly invaluable in its nonjudgmental, serious-minded approach to coping with long-term, life-altering changes.

As the mother of two children with cystic fibrosis, I really resonated with this book. I saw my own marriage and our challenges on many of these pages.

We "special needs parents" have so much in common no matter what our diagnosis is. Lack of time and energy, high levels of frustration and unrelenting stress can take its toll on a marriage. This book explains the challenges and presents realistic strategies for overcoming them.

The authors are clearly experts in their field and have interviewed many couples who are "living it." It feels good to know that we are not alone in our struggles and that what we experience is normal given our, at times, overwhelming situation. Laura and Fran's deep compassion shines through their words and will change many lives.

For additional resources for raising special needs children, see the new book Parenting Children With Health Issues: Essential Tools, Tips, and Tactics for Raising Kids With Chronic Illness, Medical Conditions, and Special Healthcare Needs

This is a MUCH needed book for any parents who have special needs children. One of the main problems I see as a marriage therapist is the tendency to focus every ounce of energy on the child to the neglect of the marriage. As the parent of a child with Down syndrome, I have witnessed this in my own marriage. Marshak and Prezant present time-honored, practical ways to keep your marriage strong when faced with the extraordinary challenges of parenting a disabled or differently-abled child. Written from a "knowing" perspective, this book should be handed to every parent at the point of their child's diagnosis.

On the day we found out about our daughter's diagnosis of Aicardi's syndrome, a nurse told us to remember to be kind to one another. What amazing words she said, but they are so true. Of course, sufferring from an amazing amount of grief, I wanted to seek solice in information of special needs children when I stumbled upon this book. We had our daughter 1 month after our 12 year anniversary and she was diagnosed at one month old. We had a strong marriage, but special-needs can definately break up marriages, so I figured why not.

The book does what it says. Addresses the fundamentals of marriage.It talks about remembering each other, communicating, ensuring you take time for each other and not letting the child consume your life. This is important. A child is going to change your life anyways, but a special needs child REALLY does. It also talks about how you might grieve different from one another and learning to respect yoru patner's way of grieving. I won't go into all of it, but it really helped me mostly for learning how to deal with my partner's way of grieving and respecting it was not going to be the same as mine. It taught me I needed outside help (went to counseling) and how to accept help for others and ensuring we took time for ourselves.

The book also discusses the issues of if it does lead to cheating, divorce, remarraige, and learning from other perople's long term marraiges.It also has resources from community and ways to deal with stress.

It was a quick read and had alot of references and comments from couples. The book is a definate way to just remind you how to work with your partner, even if you already knew how.

Katie is almost two years old and we take time for each other, seek respite care and accept offers of help from the family. We know when there are scares to turn to each other and talk, or respect when the other is not ready to talk. But most importantly, we remember the words of that Nurse and what this book says, to be kind to one another.

I am still reading this book very slowly to absorb all of the information. My marriage has been a roller coaster ride with having my son with special needs it's a book I recommend for everyone going through such a difficult journey .

Of course I waited until I was struggling to buy the book. It was wonderful and gave me a new perspective from "both" sides of the coin. Made me a more understanding person of not just myself but also my spouse

I have been a grandmother for soon to be five years. My grand daughter was born at 26 week gestation. She contracted bacterial meningitis while in NICU and remained in the hospital for the first 5 1/2 months of her life. Being developmentally delayed, she had made enormous gains. Last May, on her 4th birthday, she began having violent seizures, hospitalized and remained in a coma for 5 days. She was diagnosed with viral encephalitis and upon regaining consciousness, she had returned to a newborn state. Thank God, over the past year, she has nearly returned to the same little girl as she was this time last year. Her baby brother is now 6 months old, and they are the light in our eyes. My son and daughter-in-law have overcome so much, but I felt this book would help them in so many way. They have thanked me for getting them such a good book that is helping them deal with overcoming so much more. Thanks.