Married Women Who Love Women, Second Edition [Paperback]

Carren Strock (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 4, 2008

This book is about women in heterosexual marriages who discover or come to terms with their lesbianism or bisexuality. It answers questions such as how women make this discovery, what they do once they realize their same-gender sexuality, how family and friends deal with the situation, and what happens to marriages and families.

This second edition contains a new introduction, three new chapters, a glossary of gay-related terms, and a new list of additional reading.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

During middle age, after 25 years of happy marriage to a man, Carren Strock fell in love with a woman. After a period of intense confusion and pain, Strock came to accept her sexuality and realize that there were other women who discovered lesbianism in the context of a heterosexual marriage. This book is based on interviews that Strock conducted with more than 100 women who had that experience--60 percent of whom were between the ages of 36 and 55--as well as their husbands, children, and lovers. Some women in this situation have remained in the closet, either repressing their desires or keeping their affairs secret. Others have come out to husbands and friends and been able to incorporate their lesbianism into their marriages. Others have ended their marriages. The very personal voices in this book remind us that most women who came of age before the relatively tolerant present did so in a culture in which lesbianism was not regarded as a healthy sexual possibility but as a shameful perversion. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Married lesbians--a largely hidden population whose number is difficult to estimate--at last have a book about and for them. Strock has interviewed more than 100 women of diverse backgrounds and ranging in age from 21 to 70; 59 percent reported having no idea of their same-sex orientation before they were married. Initially undertaken as a way of dealing with her own life, which irrevocably changed when, after 27 happily married years, she fell in love with her best woman friend, her research grew to encompass husbands and children of the prime interviewees. She divides her report into three sections--" The Discovery," "A New Life," and "Selfhood" --tracking the stages of development of same-sex orientation from first awareness to learning the pros and cons of coming out to dealing with new levels of sexual intimacy. Collections concerned with gay and lesbian issues will find Strock's effort a useful addition. Whitney Scott --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Routledge; 2 edition (June 4, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1560237910
• ISBN-13: 978-1560237914
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #288,425 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

When she was a college student, aspiring writer Carren Strock's English professor told her, "Some people are writers, and some people aren't. You're not a writer."

She believed him and didn't pick up a pen for fifteen years. . .until Robert Redford came to town. Wanting to share her experiences as an extra in Redford's movie, she began to write. Her first story was published in a national magazine, which led to writing for other national magazines, and then to selling her first nonfiction book. "Married Women Who Love Women," sold at auction to a major New York publisher. This ground-breaking study of a previously unmentioned segment of society is now in its second edition.

Ms. Strock, a New York based author lectures on her improbable journey from "not a writer" to professional writer. She shares what she has learned along the way in her most recently published book, "A Writer's Journey: What to Know Before, During, and After Writing a Book."

When she isn't writing, Carren Strock is taking photographs, painting, traveling, or spending time with her grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars At last!, March 4, 2006

By 

Azul Bernal (Mexico city) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Married Women Who Love Women (Paperback)

Married with 5 kids, (the two youngest just adopted), I fell in love with this woman... Having a difficult time with my parents accepting my adopted girls... and then, being driven out of the closet by my husband... being threaten by my parents, brothers and ex to loose custody of my kids, I was between hell and heaven beliving I was the only crazy mother going through this... then this book came into my life... it became an embrace... the only shoulder to cry on, my mirrow... where things got into perspective, and I could breath and take a break at last... This book, with all those women sharing deep feelings, became my only support.
I gave it to my mom... she teared it appart as soon as she got it... I bought it again... and lost it (think it was my ex who desapered it)... I bought it once again... an it has remain by my side since.
Being divorced for 5 years now, out to my kids, over two lesbian relationships, this book is still my companion, for I read it to gain more undertanding of myself, and I keep hopping I will find someone to love, someone to become a family whith.
I'm mexican, I live in México city, and still, I was totally reflected in this book.
I'm working in a book of my own so mexican voices can be heard too, and it is obviously dedicated to Carren Strock, for taking the chance, the time, the self imposed dedication... to bring a light to those like her, like me... I'm still crying for what a gift she gave to me, to the world.
I Thank her, for my life is now as wonderfull as It only could get if I stood up to myself, and I would never have done that, if not for the hundred voices that talked to me though this book.

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Changed My Life, March 24, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Married Women Who Love Women: Second Edition (Paperback)

This book was medicine to me - it calmed me down in a period of crisis. It is WELL written and helped me understand how other married women have explored and responded to their attraction to women. I couldn't wait for it to arrive, was too frightened to look at it when I finally had it in my hands, then couldn't put it down when I opened to page one. What a comfort to know I'm not alone. I think of the women in crisis who need this book - and hope they find their way to it.

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Into the light, March 26, 2004

By 

Catherine S. Kemelmacher "pilgrimpoet" (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Married Women Who Love Women: Second Edition (Paperback)

With this book, Carren Strock brings one of the least visible segments of society into view: those for whom the book is named. By sharing openly and honestly her own experiences and those of a wide cross-section of women who are or have been married to men but love women, she shows the myriad ways these women, their families and lovers live this reality for which no societal guidelines or examples exist, and no serious discussion was available before the publication of this book. As for this reader, finding and reading this book, and sharing it with my husband, honestly saved my sanity if not my life.