Marry Me!: Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question [Hardcover]

Bradley Gerstman (Author), Christopher Pizzo (Author), Rich Seldes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 19, 2000

In What Men Want, women got the straight talk about the dating game from three young, attractive, and successful men. Now, the authors answer the No 1 question asked of them, "How do I get my guy to commit?" In Marry Me!, Brad, the married lawyer, Rich, the engaged doctor, and Chris, the single accountant, give women a step by-step look at the road to commitment - moving from the first date through the proposal stage to the wedding preparations. Marry Me addresses one of the most overlooked issues influencing a man's decision to commit - his career. It is perhaps the most important factor when it comes to marriage, and here the authors offer invaluable advice on getting men to commit, regardless of what career stage they are in. By the last page every woman will know the moves she must make and those she must avoid to keep Mr. Right heading toward commitment, a proposal, and marriage. Frank, funny, and full of priceless male insight, Marry Me! is a must-read for the millions of women looking to jump from the dating game into a fulfilling long-term relationship.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The lawyer, accountant and doctor, respectively, who penned the 1998 dating guide What Men Want are back with another irresistible title, ready to one-up The Rules once again. Now that two out of three of them have embarked on long-term relationships (one is married and one engaged, while the other is still looking for "Ms. Right"), their thoughts have turned to the specific attributes and behaviors of the women who made two of them consider giving up sex with others. Contending that "most men are addicted to conquering many women" (and presuming that these guys are great catches and that women are dying to marry them), they propose to share the privileged information that women need in order for potential husbands to categorize them as "marriage material" rather than "good for now girls." Encouraging women readers to "think of us as your best guy friends," Gerstman, Pizzo and Seldes offer some vintage 1950s advice: don't push "the relationship talk"; don't propose to him; let him pay for everything in public; and "if it were ever a question of making a sacrifice when it came to work, [let him know] you would be happy to let a career opportunity go to benefit his professional standing." Their advice can also be condescending (women just don't know how hard men work and how important their careers are to them) and even insulting (a chart illustrating the exact number of lovers it is permissible for a woman to have had at various ages), but these three mediagenic guys have proven appeal and an act that's well-groomed for the morning shows. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Bradley Gerstman, Esq., is a practicing attorney in New York City. Christopher Pizzo, CPA, works as a vice president of finance at a firm in New York City. Richard Seldes, M.D., lives and practices medicine in Philadelphia, PA.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Harper Collins (September 19, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060195398
• ISBN-13: 978-0060195397
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,506,473 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Don't Marry Him!, December 30, 2004

By 

GoldenGateGirl "S* Star" (Sacramento, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Marry Me!: Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question (Hardcover)

I read parts of this book and I skimmed through the remaining chapters. I found this book to be horse manure. This book shows the dark side of men yuppies or not. Because these men have money, they automatically have the license to act like spoiled brats. The double standards listed on this how to book are revolting and show that feminist movement has done little to change many men. They just play the game differently and turn the tables on women by avoiding responsibility to women and giving themselves the freedom to have convenient sex without anybody saying a word.

The book also says that if a guy loses his temper on you for nagging him or anything else you did, it's your fault. Remember that is how verbal and physical abuse starts. All abusers say 'she asked for it' and then get flowers for the woman the next day, in the same way these authors describe in the book.

I could go on and on about all of the unhealthy patterns in relationships they are promoting in this 255 pages of toilet paper. I want to ask this question: If a woman can't stand up to her man and be his equal, how is she going to relate to her father, brother and other male relatives? Then you must also take into consideration the babies that come from this dysfunctional union.

I am also offended at how the book tells women to cohabitate with a man for his convenience. Ladies I'll spare you the heartache and tell you from what I've seen in life: if a man lives with you before getting married, there is a good chance he'll never marry you. You'll only wind up feeling like a used pretend wife. If you desire to cohabitate, do so because it is in your best interest if you want to avoid feeling this way. And this is coming from a regular person.

I find it deeply disturbing how the book also tells women to lie all the way to the altar in order to get the guy. The man can tell the would be bride about his former player days and that is supposed to go down easy like a shake. Whatever happened to 'I don't want to talk about it' if the guy is asking you a question you are not comfortable discussing or any other tactics to avoid touchy topics. It's what any good comminucator would do.

Another thing I don't like about this book is how the authors say one thing in another paragraph and say the exact opposite thing in the next paragraph. It's as if they are trying to make themselves not look like the chauvinist pigs they are. On one hand they said they don't want their women to compete with them and other the other hand they said they want her to be independent so she doesn't aggravate him with her problems all the time. But it's okay for her man to dump on her when he's had a bad day and all she has to do is tell him how much she loves him and smile. Awww. How 1950's.

The book also coddles men who behave badly by having a boys will be boys attitude. Isn't it hypocritical that these men like to watch strippers, lesbians make love and other things yet they hold it against these women when they decide to move on with their lives and clean up? We all go through stages and though I've never stripped, I can't judge a woman who used to do it because I do not know why she did it. I also dislike their condescending attitude towards 'lesbianism'. First off, if a woman is bisexual and loves one man that's a legitimate emotion. Being bisexual has little to do with promiscuity as it has to do with a sexual orientation. Being promiscious is just that, sleeping around. What an ignorant thing to say. These men should have taken some psychology courses before writing this trashy book.

Relationships should be set on the premise of honesty if these childish, arrogant and chauvinist men cannot handle the truth then they should not marry. Women are not supposed to be saints because we come with our virtues and faults. These men live in a dream world when it comes to themselves, relationships and women as people. These authors are saying a man wants to marry a puppet and not a woman. These guys also suggest that women, girlfriends and wives are like sex objects and trophies. These men suffer from an Oedipus complex. I'll bet you anything that while these professional men are neglecting their wives because of their career, the women are cheating on them with a man who is attentive while taking the husband's money.

I gave the book 2 stars because I got something positive out of reading it. I was able to see when to back off a relationship, when a man is an incorrigible jerk, when a man is good but misguided in his relationship with you and when to not take the stuff he does personally. I must say that underneath their arrogance and chauvinism, these men are stupid and I'll tell you why. If these men learned how to multitask their activities, their women would not be complaining so much about their inattentive behavior and jerky ways. One can't have tunnel vision and solely focus on one thing at a time. Life is not like that and you would think that these professional men would know that by now. When good opportunities come your way whether they are romantic or professional, one must take them any which way they know how or else somebody else will gladly take the chance away from you.

This book looks like it is written for white, yuppie people who are coldhearted. We are in the year 2000 and it is so disappointing to see such a book written from such a narrow viewpoint. Books are supposed to have an all emcompassing influence in order to reach all people. If I was to judge men men the same way I judged this book I would say this leaves a lot to be desired in men. This book could have been used as a vehicle for men to redeem themselves and rid themselves of negative stereotypes and it did just the opposite for me.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars I could not believe what I read!, December 14, 2000

By 

a female college student (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Marry Me!: Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question (Hardcover)

This is a terrible book! At first while I was reading it, I was learning so much, thinking to myself well this is good to know. But then I realized this book does not take into account a woman's own happiness. It teaches women to change their behaviors in order to keep their men happy in hopes they will commit. They blatantly admit men have the upper hand in a relationship. Well, that doesn't sound like a relationship to me. This book will not help you create a healthy, mutually respectful relationship that grows into a commitment. If you want to learn more about men and how to find the Right man, I suggest reading Barbara DeAngelis' Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know.

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Even 1 out of 5 stars is excessive...., February 6, 2001

By 

Alexandra (Toronto, ON, Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Marry Me!: Three Professional Men Reveal How to Get Mr. Right to Pop the Question (Hardcover)

I perused this book thinking that it might give me some useful insights. As an MD, I seem to meet only professional men and am always intrigued by the commitment-phobic natures many of them display. Don't expect this book to give you any balanced perspective -- the three authors display a combination of immaturity and arrogance that's truly dismaying. The section on how to calculate the maximum number of men it's "acceptable" to have slept with based on your age would be funny if it weren't so insulting. Double standards abound in this worthless tome. The only conclusion that I've been able to draw is that if a man is, say, a lawyer, doctor, or accountant (just to pick three professions randomly...), then the usual standards of humanity, respect, and tenderness simply do not apply. If you're a woman looking to reel in a high-income earner with a few letters trailing after his name and don't mind subjugating yourself to his self-importance, then this is the book for you.