Customer Reviews

Marry Me: A Romance

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is my second Updike novel and I loved it. The story is typically Updike, with adulterous themes and enchanting prose. It's a story about a man struggling to decide which of two women in his life will make him happiest. One of the women is his wife, the other is his married neighbor. The characters are strong people who at times seem deeply moved by their circumstances, and at other times surprisingly passe. Updike is great at making the reader feel what the characters feel. I was angry, guilty, hurt and amused throughout this novel. I recommend this book highly

In the Updike oeuvre, MARRY ME is not unlike Couples and even Villages, as it explores infidelity and the search for happiness in Northeastern commuter towns. Like COUPLES, MARRY Me features thirty-somethings with young children who gather for weekend drinks and weirdly ecstatic volleyball. Like VILLAGES, it has a selfish and unfaithful male protagonist and even a wife in car accident. These books, like the RABBIT novels, share a lot--in this case, a sensibility, a suburban setting, and an underlying social vocabulary. They are somewhat different looks at the same jewel.

In MARRY ME, there are many fine sections. For example, in the second chapter, "The Wait", Updike perfectly captures the frantic helplessness of trying to get on successive planes as a standby. Likewise, in the third chapter, "The Reacting of Ruth", there is an absolutely pitch-perfect picture of a family in crisis.

But within these two chapters, there is also what I experienced as two mediocre plays. In "The Wait", this is the snippet conversations between the lovers Jerry and Sally. These alternate between confusion (deliberate by Updike) and empty rhetoric about love and fate (also deliberate). Likewise, in "The Reacting of Ruth" there is brilliant dispute between Jerry and Ruth, his wife, with Jerry often making exactly the perfect point to further or justify his position. But for me, these conversations were unreal in their hair-splitting precision.

I'm not a professor. But it's my impression that in the mid-seventies, when MARRY ME was published, Updike, Roth, and other literary authors employed such dialogue. Here, these authors would create realistic social settings with believable dynamics between the characters. This was real. But then, their characters were mouthpieces, not for ideological purposes but so that the author could identify the subtleties in their actions and beliefs. Even now, some of Philip Roth reads this way, with Roth, basically, holding your face to his conclusions. What I'm saying is that this is a literary style that, in retrospect, doesn't look too successful.

Similarly, the fourth chapter of this book, "The Reacting of Richard", also has the elements of a bad play, but for different reasons. In this case, Updike unwinds an affair, showing its angry consequences. Here, his story and interaction seem absolutely true. But this chapter is also only about this unwinding, with Richard, the cuckold, ranting, and others adjusting to his fury. In this case, the chapter has all the qualities of real life--that is, a situation dominated by a loud bore. After a while, it gets tiresome.

Nonetheless, MARRY ME is an engaging book. This is because narrative is an art and Updike is definitely a master at involving his readers and getting them to turn pages. Actually, this is an attribute of Updike's work that I depend on. You see, whenever my reading is stalled, I pull a Flashman novel or something by Updike off the shelf. Somehow, Fraser and Updike renew my pleasure in reading and I'm ready for more.

Admittedly, MARRY ME is not Updike at his best. But it's as good, if not better, than most of the highly hyped new novels that publishers say show the promise of greatness. With Updike, even in his lesser work, greatness is always apparent. For example:

"Beyond the green railing of the promenade a beach curved into a distance where what appeared to be a fort of a fragile pink overhung the glistening steel of the sea; the beach was entirely of pebbles, loose washed pebbles in whose minuscule caves and crevices the ocean musically sighed as through the gills of an organ."

Or...

"The clouds materialized earlier than usual; little upright puffs at first, like puffs of smoke from a locomotive starting its run around the horizon, then clouds increasingly structural and opaque, castles, continents that, overhead, grew as they moved, keeping the sun behind them..."

Updike has faults. But, how can you not like the guy?

This book is remindful of the author's earlier "Couples," which too involved adulterous relations among suburban couples. However, the focus of this book is far more narrow involving only two families and is much more dialog intensive giving a clearer window into the full range of emotions experienced by these people.

Jerry and Ruth Conant and Richard and Sally Mathias are thirty-something's with three children in each family. The focus of the book is the affair of Jerry and Sally. At times they seem certain of their love and eventual marriage. Yet others are involved for whom genuine affections exist and doubts continually arise, not only as to practicalities but also as to understanding their true and long-term feelings. Some of the scenes are lengthy and it is fair to say can be tedious. The dialog seems endless and repetitious, constantly reviewing the same points and feelings - and it all seems very realistic. The dialog really draws the reader into their dilemma.

The book is really quite insightful concerning marriage in so far as it goes, but it is inconclusive. What to do when a seemingly better marital fit arises after many years is a subject far larger than one novel can solve.

I wont rehash the story here as other reviewers have done a good job. I enjoy Updike and if your're new to him, I recommend starting with his short stories or the Rabbit series rather than with "Marry Me". The good points of the novel were the descriptions of life in Connecticut and DC in the early 1960's, the Updike style (descriptive and introspective),the quick page-turning quality and the insights into happiness and married life. The novel is the story of marital infidelity and its effects on two families. It was probably very insightful when first published in 1970 but this is a field that has been well plowed since then. The stories of John Cheever come to mind. I agree with the reviewers who noted some scenes verged on tediousness. Probably the best drawn aspect in my view was how the relationship between Jerry and Sally was so strongly based on feelings and how evanescent strong feelings can be. Not something you want to base major life changing decisions on. Or do you?

Spolier alert:
I don't really understand the ending. Or rather, I understand it all except the Wyoming part. I gather that part never really happened.

i have recently re-read both books back to back and almost felt as if one were a continuation of the other. i must admit, i am drawn to updike's works and even though i dont think he's the best writer in the world, i do appreciate his insights into anything he choses to write about,i.e the building trades, the art world, the financial world, the beach, suburban life, women etc, he always nails it. the characters,though interesting, are always extensions of previous characters, i.e. angela(couples)=ruth(marry me) the voluptuous, maleable,harried,out of touch wife; foxy(couples)=sally(marry me) the cynical,mannish, flat-footed, posteriorly deprived, selfish blond adulteress, who both piet(couples) and jerry(marry me) are fascinated by. the male characters have a bit more dimension, but are basically re-written as well, it just depends on which one is the protagonist. updike is always readable, if not brilliant.

John Updike will be forever remembered as a great writer who wrote about forgettable characters doing nothing whatsoever. "Marry Me" is about two intertwined couples, four ultimately failed and fractured individuals dreaming of something better but who lack the nerve and conviction and self-love to achieve anything before their bland, predictable lives. It is John Updike, and thus it is pristine prose -- there is unfortunately nothing more.

SPOILER ALET
John Updike's "Marry Me: A Romance" was a novel of compelling and complex love among two unfaithful couples. The title of the novel was very fitting due to the fact that at the end, when Jerry leaves with Sally to go to Wyoming (the state they always talked about running off to) he asks her in the train station "Marry me?" thus bringing the whole plot to a "full circle".
Though the ending matched the title nicely, I still was not thrilled with its overall inability to address the key questions the author provokes within the reader. Firstly, the ending was confusing because originally, Updike paints an image of Jerry with Ruth in their lives after the Jerry-Sally scandal. However, then Updike brings the reader to a scene with Jerry and Sally together in a train station in Wyoming, about to start their new life together. I perceived this as Jerry originally chose to stay with Ruth but ultimately changed his mind and chose a life with Sally. Also, the ending does not recognize Richard's life once Sally has left him (with or without Jerry being with her). I as a reader felt that Richard's character was crucial to the plot; however, often times his character was diminished for the sake of Jerry and Sally's relationship to be more fully exposed. Finally, the final question "Marry me?" is left unanswered; therefore leaving a feeling of emptiness once the story-line has ended.
Despite the ending of the novel, there were moments of pure excitement that kept the reader from putting the book down. For example, when Ruth, Jerry, Richard and Sally talk openly about their twisted relationships, I, as a reader, was intrigued. I wanted to know who Jerry was going to choose, how the woman he did not choose would react and how Richard was going to live a life without his love, Sally. The questions addressed, such as if Jerry will marry Sally if he leaves Ruth, kept me reading to find the answers (which did not come until the final chapter of the book). Overall, Updike kept the reader interested throughout the novel, making "Marry Me: A Romance" an enjoyable novel to read. However, his inability to properly end the novel, in some way soiled what would have been a fantastic read for all interested in a complex story of true love.

An expert of marriage institute, exploring the deepest fears, anxieties. Very painful but necessary catarsis reading. Loved Updike from the very first book of stories I have read for his sad, thought-provoking writing, because the world is not like in a commercial, bright and beautiful, it is dark, sometimes ugly and painful. Interesting to see the USA: America where marriage is ideologically the center, but it is crashing under the cover of neat two-storey houses. "Marry Me" is a very Updike book that should be read for us to see our sufferings put in precise words.

I requqested the audio version and was sent the hardcover.

I rarely write negative reviews, or feel compelled to, but this novel seems to have inspired me to do so. I find the plot structure boring. Reading how each member of each couple battles out their mid-life insufficiences by wrecking each others' marriages and friendships, while hearing vapid ramblings and thought-processes of middle-aged rich white people, often put me to sleep.

There are better ways to write about the intricasies of infidelity and complexity of relationships than found in this book. It's like Updike became afraid of really going deeper into each character, into their histories, their surroundings, their connections, their true motives. Yes, the dialog is often clever, but there is no real connection to the larger societal picture in which the characters live. No spiritual strivings beyond Jerry's religious fanaticism. No attempt to figure out what a good relationship really means, or takes, or is worth.

Trying to do much, Updike has left me with almost no last emotion, and feeling like I've wasted my time.

*** spoiler ***

What really disturbs me is how the title, "Marry Me", makes readers think this is some kind of grand romance, when it is really anything but. It should be called "Divorce Me, Ruin Our Family". That would have been much more honest.