Customer Reviews

How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire

5 star:		(86)
4 star:		(48)
3 star:		(27)
2 star:		(24)
1 star:		(13)

 

 

I loved this book! And I'm betting it's the start of a new series. In fact, I demand that it be! The secondary charcters were so charming and well written that you couldn't help falling in love with them.

Roman is your typical alpha male bored, rich, playboy vampire. But like all vampires who are worth their cravable books, Roman has hidden depths and secrets from his past that way heavily upon him. In fact he was a human monk, a healer half a milllenium ago, who was kidnapped by evil vamps and transformed. He was tortured for years before breaking free and forming what is now an extremely powerful group of vampires, many of which he transformed. Because of his original vows to God, Roman takes the burden of his fellow vampires damned soles personal.

These days he is a brilliant scientist. He developed synthetic blood for the benefits of his species and human kind. And he's on the verge of a formula that will allow him to stay awake during daylight.However, thanks to two of his slightly bumblesome but extremely lovable vampire employees he now finds one of his fangs stuck in a sex toy. If he doesn't get the tooth fixed before dawn. the wound will heal sans tooth and he'll be a lopsided eater and laughingstock for eternity. What he needs is an all night dentist...

Shanna's life is boring. well atleast it is now. Stuck in the witness protection program after witnessing a mafia hit gone bad, Shanna has no one and no life. But what little existance she has left is in jeopardy when one night at her dentistry practise the mafia decides to silence her for good. Lucky for her a sexy man carrying what looks like a wolf fang comes to carry her to safety.

It's weird that he has a staff of Highlander security guards (were those really tartan covered coffins she saw them sleeping in?), a harem of woman in the parlor watching the DVN channel on the tv ( Digital Vampire Network - their joking right?), and the ability to have telepathic sex (yummy!) but whose complaning?

This book is a laughing rollercoaster of fun that will leave you craving more! Read it today!

The plotline was exciting, but the actual execution of the story, not so much.

I tend to have four settings for reading romantic fiction.

1.) Can't put it down, stay up all night, cancel dinner
2.) Can't wait to finish it, but can function
3.) Have a difficult time getting into and finishing it but
end up enjoying the story anyhow
4.) Can't get past the first third of book throw it away/donate or sell it without finishing

"How to Marry A Millionaire Vampire" fell somewhere between 2 and three for me. I loved the plot, but the execution was off, and I can't put my finger on exactly why.

This is definitely worth buying though and I look forward to following the evolution of the Kerrelyn Sparks, but this book isn't a keeper.

I decided to review it because all of the reviews were 5 star -- and I feel that is misleading. It's a good book with a rehashed but interesting idea, but it isn't a five star book.

I was thrilled to find a vampire book that had the word "hilarious" in the description, and it was free, so even better. Then I started reading it. I get why it's free. If Roman didn't say "God's blood" on every other page, I'll eat my Kindle. It would make a great drinking game, not a great read. And yes, Roman is a monster, forsaken by God...we get it already. As for the "hilarious"...WHERE? The only mildly entertaining thing that happened was Roman losing a fang in a sex doll. That's it. Glad it was free because I would have been royally ticked if I had paid money for it.

Plot Summary: Dr. Shanna Whelan is a dentist on the lam, living under the Secret Witness program after she witnessed a murder. On a shift at the all-night dental clinic, a handsome man comes in with a huge canine he needs reinserted. Roman is a vampire, and before Shanna can fix his tooth, a group of assassins shows up. Roman saves Shanna, and takes her back to his five-story town house, complete with a harem of vampire chicks, and a barrack of Highland vampire guards. Cozy. Roman falls for Shanna like a stone in a pool, while she vacillates like a windmill in a tornado.

Reading this book was like going to a comedy club, and quickly realizing that I'd need to get completely blitzed to make the comedian even remotely funny. It was uncomfortable watching the jokes do belly-flops during the supposed-to-be funny bits. I like my humor either dark, dry or raunchy, and all the artificial sweeteners here were burning a hole in my gut.

I categorize this type of story as `vampire-lite,' and it's very much in the same vein as the Argeneau Vampire series by Sands (pun unintended). I wish I could say it pulls off the same effortless charm, but it doesn't work here because this story never celebrates vampires. If the goal is to write a sanitized vampire story, and have them drink synthetic blood out of bottles, so be it, but don't castrate them completely.

The heroine grated on my nerves. Shanna is one of those yes-no-yes-no characters, who spins like an emotional top in each and every scene, and as a result she comes across as a wimpy drama queen. Roman Draganesti was no better, and his self-loathing was tiresome. I don't want to read about a 500 year-old vampire who apologizes for who he is, or what he does. When Roman bites Shanna in a moment of passion, you'd think that the world had ended based on their reactions. Hello? Vampires are supposed to bite people, and treating it like a bad behavior was weird. Roman uses science to undo everything that's cool about vampires, and I kept wishing the bad guys would win.

I wanted to like this book: I love paranormal romance and have read almost everything else. I was excited about a new author with fresh ideas. Unfortunately, the ideas aren't fresh, the heroine is whiny and immature and the book ends without resolving two very major issues.
First, roman IS a vampire, yet Shanna refuses to entertain the idea of being bitten. Yes, he has another food source but is love not about accepting and sharing the most important aspects of your partner? We're not talking about liking sports or sharing tastes in music here.
Second, her father clearly intends to kill Roman and all other vampires. Shanna's response is a flippant joke. This seems to underscore the whole problem with the book. Shanna is extremely self-oriented and responds to almost every situation childishly. How are we to believe a 545 year old man, who was once a monk, would be attracted to such a woman?

Wow, and I do mean WOW!! Tired rehashed plot? Nope, not here. Fresh and original? Absolutely. First off, it's a comedy vamp romance, and yes, there are plenty of those to be had these days, but again, the humor and situations leading to it are fun and a totally new experience in Spark's version. Let's face it, fellow authors and readers, with the vast majority of romance talent out there, there's more than enough room in the vamp subgenre to welcome this new series into the ever growing vamp fold.

Roman Dragonesti is a vamp on the run--for a dentist! Through a freak accident, and a little snafu of misplaced fang action, he's lost one of his sharp eating utensils. He must find a dentist he can coerce into fixing his problem, or forever bo faced with the stigma of single fanged eating for eternity. Shanna Whelan is on the run too, from hired thugs threatening to snuff her life because of murders she witnessed. Due to the murders, her tenuous career as a dentist is rockier than ever, for she cannot abide the sight of blood. When Roman rescues her from an assassination attempt, she suddenly has a gorgeous new savior--one she finds out all too soon is not quite as perfect as she hoped. With problems no girl should have to face in a relationship, will Shanna overcome her fear of blood and learn to see there's more to life than a "normal" existence? Roman certainly hopes so. Shanna has brought smiles and warmth into a life he thought long dead. He means to have her for his own and he's willing to make some sacrifices.

Okay, so this isn't some supercharged, superhero-driven vamp rollarcoaster ride in tight black leather and spandex. Too that, I say good! What we have here are some awesome characters from Scottish vampire security guards (complete with kilts) to a plethora of amusing vamp "harem" girls ready to get hot and heavy with the hero and heroine. Shanna is a super heroine, torn by her determination to live, despite being marked for death and attracted like nobody's business to Roman. Her reactions to his vamp culture are hilarious and fun to read. Roman is a tortured hero, but what vamp that survives hundreds of years and many gruesome atrocities wouldn't be? He is honorable, good and a true leader to his fellow vampires, one that cares. Sparks has done a superb job of creating yet another vampire world where her particular breed of vamps thrive with vitality, wit and stellar development. There were many characters, but she does a great job of keeping the focus on Shanna and Roman. Good clean writing carries the reader swiftly through the action and romance. Five very enthusiastic and well-deserved stars!

Kerrelyn Sparks is the best author ever! This is not the first book I read by (read Forbidden Nights with a Vampire 1st) her, but once I started I could not put it down! This is a first in a series of books that keep you coming back for more! What I look for in a good paranormal romance is all the lovey dovey stuff with a heaping dose of hilarity! This book has it in spades, you won't be able to stop laughing! I have all the books in Kerrelyn's series. Read them in order or as a standalone item; you will NOT be disappointed! A++

I am a big vampire fiction reader and have read many other vampire romance/adventure novels in the past. Although this books keeps you somewhat interested you never really dive into the story. It's too cliche and everything seemed too convenient. All the characters lack depth, and when she tries to make each one quirky it comes off as trying too hard. One guy was too Russian, One girl was too Parisian, Another guy was too nervous. Most books have a way of expressing themselves and you can imagine how the main character looks, acts and feels, with this main character I kept changing her in my head about 50 times. Was she smart? Dumb? Ugly? Who knows! Half way through the book nothing exciting has happened, and when something exciting DOES happen it falls short. I've read fan fiction better than this!

However, if you like fluff than this may be the book for you it does have some cute moments and again it is a romance novel.

This book had such promise. I thought the title was a little silly but it got pretty good reviews so I thought it was worth trying. I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the first 75% of the book, but then the book changed. It stopped being smart and funny. It got downright juvenile in the writing and suddenly the characters turned into silly adolescents. It almost seemed that the author was trying to rush the ending in order to get it done OR failed to do some serious proof-reading before finalizing it. I ended up not even being able to finish the book, and being an extrememly picky reader, I doubt I'll pick up another book by this author.

I thought it was going to be a new refreshing story and I was completely wrong. I thought that the high rating (I'm definitely wondering about the level of intellect of the people who gave this a good rating) would be indicative of a good story, I could not have been anymore wrong. I utterly despised the heroine, she is childish, whiny (every other line was "A tear rolled down her cheek"), and she is a complete ditz. I was not moved by this book or the heroine in the least.

I also thought it was very unrealistic of the heroine to expect so much in a "relationship" with a guy she had only met night before. They had only spent about all of 5 or 6 hours together and a bit of that she was in a trance and you want me to believe that is enough for some form of commitment between the two? I mean she's running out like this man had cheated on her. Please, let's be serious for a second. He owes her nothing and she owes him nothing as well, the expectations that they build up for each other, well more so the expectations stupid Shanna had for Roman were completely unreasonable.

And the more I think about it, the more I think the premise of the story is stupid and I'm stupid for thinking it interesting of enough to purchase. This just wasn't the book for me, I tend to not like the whiny simpering thoughtless bimbo heroines.