Customer Reviews

Marrying Again: The Art of Attracting a New Man and Winning His Heart

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I read this book looking for specific advice on dealing with the unique challenges of remarriage--how to keep ghosts from the previous marriage(s) from intruding, meeting the needs of children from your previous marriage as well as those of the new husbands, building a strong step-family. Instead _Marrying_Again_ gives the same old superficial manipulative advice you would find in a magazine article--figure out what he wants and then become that person. They take it to ridiculous extremes--suggesting hiding your kids if he doesn't like kids (what happens if you marry him! ) or, if you don't have kids and he likes them, *borrowing* someone else's kids! It reminded me of a Lynda Barry cartoon spoof on relationship advice--"Giving up your 'real' personality is a small price to pay for a relationship with an actual man!"

Later on in the book, they discuss changing the man to suit your needs as well, demeaningly describing incompatible men as "fixer-uppers" and detailing how to manipulate them into giving up their real personalities too.

If you follow this advice, you could very well be remarried very soon. Unfortunately, it will be a marriage where you will have to hid your real self, and so will he. In other words, a marriage that will make you miserable and lead to another divorce.

I am still looking for a good book on remarriage. One book I can recommend on man-woman relationships in general is _Loving_Him_without_Losing_You_ by Beverly Engels. Follow her advice to create a healthy relationship between two real people expressing their real personalities--the only basis for a real marriage.

Read this book, and it is a pretty sure thing you will be married soon.