Customer Reviews

Mars Needs Women

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

When the first minute of the movie involves a bad trick-cut of a woman disappearing during a tennis match, you know you're in for it.

I admit I have seen this movie twice. Not because it was actually a good movie- far from it!- but because I felt the need to spread the joy to my friends; the joy that is Tommy Kirk's alien colleague explaining, completely deadpan, how great it would be for their woman-finding mission if one of the candidates was well-versed in sex and genetics, 'both fundamentally and as it applies to space!'

I give this one star because z-movies deserve nothing more. If they are truly classics, as this one's title suggests, one star is a badge of honour. MNW does not dissappoint in the cheese department and I was cackling out loud through most of it (and howling by the climax).

WARNING: Lots of stock footage here, folks. Many Amazon viewers have mentioned how completely boring this movie was, most of which was due to a tiny tic in the director's brain that must have repeated to him over and over: "I've got ten minutes of footage of a plane taking off, and by gum, I'm going to USE it!!"
The premise, title, acting, plot and dialogue completely make up for this in my opinion, but feel free to fast-forward through the following scenes:
-The strip-tease that isn't really
-Hypnotization! (actually all the hypnotizing made me want to fall asleep)
-Another strip-tease
-A large part of a football game
-Any scene with a plane

The sad thing is, there is some sub-decent acting and intruiging symbolism buried under all the nonsense and wonderfully horrendous exposition. However, the plot goes all over the place and can't decide whether its own characters are rapists, lechers or just lonely, and ends up being all three at times(creepily enough).

Yes, it might be a little slow in patches, but those priding themselves on B-movie stamina should definitely take this one for a ride. All the elements are here: Laughably quotable dialogue, wooden acting, bizarre views on sex (all the more intruiging considering the lead, Tommy Kirk, was ousted from Disney for being supposedly gay), questionable science, misplaced 'drama', clumsy editing, bizarre leaps of logic not seen since 'Plan 9', huge gaping plot holes, bad special effects, incredible amounts of pure Swiss cheese and a phrase to rival that of "Soylent green is people" in terms of yelling value.

This one is golden. And having to fast-forward the nude-less so-called strip-tease just makes it funnier.

This movie is so much fun. I didn't think I was going to be able to get through it, when I sat through 16 minutes of stock footage from the US airforce. I couldn't turn away! it just gets worse and worse! Men glare at hot young things and strippers twirl, but the fun is just beginning, cuz MARS NEEDS WOMEN!!!
The only thing I didn't like about the dvd itself is that the transfer is pretty bad. Not up to par with the only midnight movies that have been released in the series. It is only in pan and scan which for once is fine with me, cuz I didn't need to see the ample body parts of the women all over the screen. There wasn't a trailer. I think I will watch it again tomorrow and see if I can sit through it again. No matter what I tell you, you have to see it to believe it.

MARS NEEDS WOMEN needs no introduction (so much so that it dosen't even have a preview on the disc - I'm not sure if this is an oversight or it never had one to begin with) - the title alone tells you all you need to know, and just what you will find underneath the cover. But don't let that put you off, because MARS NEEDS WOMEN is a classic... even if only for all the wrong reasons. Ernest, but DRAGNET stiff, dialogue deleivered by Tommy Kirk and company make this feature a delight to watch as everyone puts all they've got into making it come across like a high school play gone wrong. Wet suits used as space suits, with duct tape filling in for command stripes, and a model space ship that is so horribly obvious that the opening edits in the credit sequence seem to be going out of their way to hide it - or remove it all together. It's a pleasing and entertaining mess that strives for science fiction, yet comes up with a jumbled collection of erotic dancing, IBM salesmen looking aliens, stock footage, of which every second is shown (they paid for it, you're going to see all of it), and the timeless tale of true love conquering all (efficiently - in under 24 hours). For the collector, MARS NEEDS WOMEN is a must, for the casual viewer, you will find gem of a film that is not to be missed and can be watched over and over again.

A signal from space has been detected. It contains only three words: Mars Needs Women. A Martian ship is on the way to collect some women to help prevent the destruction of the Martian race.

First the Martians attempt to teleport some women but that is unsuccessful (we never find out what happened to them). Now they are arriving in person. While they wanted healthy and cooperative volunteers, the short press of time forces them to use hypnosis.

Teen idol Tommy Kirk is the Martian Leader. Plans are going well until Tommy runs into a woman scientist played by Yvonne Craig (Batgirl). It is them that he realizes that even though his race is dying, women are not enough. There must also be love. It is this love that causes the return of the other women as the Martians leave just ahead of the military.

This almost thoughtful film brings to mind This Island Earth where aliens use humans to save their civilization but stop for issues of conscience and morals. The title of this film leads one to expect something a little more sensationalistic than thoughtful, but they would be disappointed.

The film was shot with an obviously small budget, but the plot and acting are respectable. At one point you may even wonder why a certain loudspeaker did not get a mention in the credits as it is filmed almost like a central character for awhile.

Forget what you think you know about this film and take a chance to actually see it for yourself.

The costume and hardware are strictly Ed Wood. The acting is the substance of Pinocchio. I can't really dislike this flick because it does have a certain disarming charm in it's near ineptitude. I bump it up a point for the presence of Yvonne Craig, THE Batgirl. If anybody wanted to revive the beehive they should look no further.

Is Tommy Kirk wasted here? Yes.
Is this poorly filmed and directed? Yes.
Is this a good B sci-fi movie? Yes.

I picked up "Mars Needs Women" recently but wish I would have checked the negative Amazon reviews before doing so, because this is a REALLY bad movie, and not in the good way.

Some movies are technically bad but fun nevertheless and highly entertaining. "Village of the Giants" is an excellent example of this (some would cite "Plan 9 from Outer Space" as another good example but I disagree; "Plan 9" is not so bad it's good, it's so bad it's BAD!). "Village of the Giants" possesses a wealth of great scenes highlighted by quite a few cute girls; it is therefore very worthwhile.

"Mars Needs Women" would seem to be a movie of the same caliber for a few reasons: 1.) The name itself, 2.) the backcover description: "WARNING: Sex-Starved Spacemen on the Prowl for Bodacious Babes!" (which, of course, gives the impression that the flick will be full of bodacious babes), 3.) the casting of Tommy Kirk, who also stars in "Village of the Giants," and particularly 4.) the casting of Yvonne Craig.

The fact that Yvonne stars in "Mars" was the clincher for me to pick it up. Unfortunately Yvonne doesn't really appear until 45 minutes into the picture (!) and you don't ONCE see her dressed in those alluring, skimpy, tight costumes that she wears in "Batman" as Batgirl or in Star Trek's "Whom Gods Destroy."

Is the film worth picking up to catch a few nice glimpses of some other notable 60's babes? Unfortunately no. A few scenes depict a Martian ogling a cute stripper, but these scenes are certainly not worth buying the movie for (or investing your time).

As for the production, sets and directing, you'd see better filmmaking by simply watching an episode of "I Dream of Jeanie." Not to mention that the dialogue is atrocious and the storytelling dreadfully boring -- filled with numerous scenes of stock footage. In fact, in the first half hour you would think that the paging speaker at the Airbase is a starring cast member.

I admit that I laughed out loud a few times because of how godawful this stinker is, so it may be worthwhile for this alone; other than that AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE!

... except that I think that I'm being unfair to paint. There are movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space that are so bad they're good. There are movies like Monster-a-Go-Go that are so bad they're simply torture. But Mars Needs Women is a whole new kind of bad: it's a movie which is so incredibly boring that you'll need some heavy stimulants to stay awake through it all. This film is only for the hardest of the hard-core bad movie buffs, and the only reason to watch it is to say that you did. If you're in this category, my advice is to watch it for 20 minutes, do something else more interesting (you won't have any trouble finding something -- even staring off into space would do it) and then watch another 20 minutes etc. until you're done with it. I give it one extra star because I actually liked what little plot there was -- properly edited, it would have made a decent half-hour movie. I sleep now.

Of all the bad Larry Buchanan movies ever made, this is one of them. And, sadly enough, this may be his best.

Martians Tommy Kirk and Company, in vacuformed bodysuits with "boing" antennae, announce to the Pentagon that Mars needs women. When America refuses to cooperate by providing a few suitable single females, Kirk and Crew baldly state that they will simply do their own informal poll and take some girls on the sly. The Secretary of State informs the public that Martian kidnappers are on the move, and creates a think-tank to deal with the problem. One of the think-tank's members, space geneticist Yvonne Craig, falls into Kirk's sights as a perfect inductee for the Martian breeding program - and, unaware that Kirk is in fact one of the Martians she is working against, she falls for him while he is in undercover guise.

This is one of the weirdest movies ever made. It isn't a comedy, nor does it try to be one. That it isn't good goes without saying - but it's really not that bad, either. Strangely enough, the script would actually have worked, if given a halfway decent production. It's all played serious as a heart attack, and only the incredibly cheap production values, drastically overused stock-footage padding, and a lack of rehearsal that make the performances come off as first dress night at the local community theater kill it. It's got virtually no entertainment value, and yet the seriousness with which the story is undertaken almost hypnotically holds your attention. It's sometimes amusing - and even interesting - in spite of itself.

Recommended only for unusually thorough sci-fi cinema buffs.

Larry Buchanan, the maker of the movie, sent me a letter concerning it after I discussed it on my Yvonne Craig fan site. His letter reads in part: "American International pictures contracted me to deliver (as writer, director, producer) twelve Z-grade flicks, these to be churned out between my serious works. Each picture was budgeted at $30,000 script to screen!! (color, two young leads from Hollywood, feature length, shooting schedule, 9 days!) All of the pictures were profitable but the smash was 'Mars Needs Women'! Was it my contributions? Tommy Kirk as lead? The sci-fi genre? None of these. It was the classy, professional, elegant sex appeal of Yvonne Craig. While chaos swirled around her, she just flashed those beautiful green eyes and embraced her role like it was from Arthur Miller or Tennessee Williams. I adored her." Martians, led by Kirk, come to Earth in search of females to help repopulate Mars. Yvonne Craig plays Dr. Marjorie Bolen, a gerontologist who is abducted by Kirk. Craig agreed to be in the film in part because they gave her a free trip to Dallas (where it was filmed), home to her family.