Amazon.com Exclusive: Notes on Why Mars & Venus Collide by John Gray
Over the last fifty years, life has become more complicated. Longer working hours, intensified by grueling commutes and more traffic, the increased cost of housing, food, and health care, rising credit card debt, and the combined responsibilities of work and childcare in two-career families are only a few of the sources of stress in our fast-paced modern lives. In spite of the new technologies designed to connect us, information overload and round-the-clock accessibility via the Internet and cell phones have reduced much of our communication to the equivalent of text messaging. We are stretched to the limit, with little energy for our personal lives. Despite increased independence and opportunities for success at work, we are often left with a sense of isolation and exhaustion at home.
The unprecedented levels of stress both men and women are experiencing is taking a toll on our romantic relationships. Whether single or in committed relationships, we are often too busy or too tired to sustain feelings of attraction, motivation, and affection. Everyday stress drains our energy and patience and leaves us feeling too exhausted or overwhelmed to enjoy and support each other.
We are often too busy to see what is obvious. A man will give his heart and soul to make enough money to provide for his family and return home too tired even to talk with them. A woman will give and give to support her husband and children and then resent them for not giving back the kind of support she thrives on giving. Under the influence of stress, men and women forget why we do what we do.
Over the last fifteen years, a new trend in relationships has emerged linked to increasing stress. Both couples and singles believe they are too busy or too exhausted to resolve their relationship issues, and often think their partners are either too demanding or just too different to understand. Attempting to cope with the increasing stress of working for a living, both men and women feel neglected at home. While some couples experience increasing tension, others have just given up, sweeping their emotional needs under the carpet. They may get along, but the passion is gone.
Without an understanding of our different needs, men and women are adjusting their actions and reactions to no avail. Our actions may be pointed in the wrong direction. Why Mars and Venus Collide provides a new understanding and a variety of techniques you will need to counter the disruptive effects of stress and to steer a true course to a lifetime of love.
Remembering and understanding our differences are only half the battle. The other half is about action--learning to cope more effectively with stress. This book aims to help you discover new ways to lower your own stress and help to lower your partners. Whether you are in a relationship, starting over, or single, you will discover a variety of new and practical ways to improve your communication, uplift your mood, increase your energy, elevate levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance. You will learn why communication breaks down or why your relationships have failed in the past, and what you can do now to ensure success in the future.
From Publishers Weekly
The author of the wildly successful Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
now posits that men (Mars) and women (Venus) naturally react differently to everyday stress, which in turn causes more stress in their relationships. When Gray says naturally, he means hormones. When a man, after a stressful day, wants to veg out in front of the TV, he is not rejecting his wife. Rather, he is replenishing his depleted testosterone. And when a woman wants to talk about her day, she is not being a nag. It's just her way of replenishing her cuddle hormone, oxytocin. According to Gray, the fact that women have more body fat means they burn more energy than men, which makes their minds create endless to-do lists. Gray does not consider cultural differences figuring in the stress mix. If anything, Gray seems to come down hard—or focus more—on women, perhaps because women are his most likely audience. Thus, he discusses Why Women Never Forget a Quarrel; and Making a Man Happier Is Easier than You Think (in which he uses a devoted dog as an example). It's simplistic but easy to digest and no doubt headed for the bestseller lists. (Feb.)
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