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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
From a guy to other guys, read this book!, December 1, 2009
This review is from: Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship (Paperback)
I'm a 50 something divorced guy, I'd never given thought to "stages of dating". I knew I felt different things as a relationship progressed, but had never been tried to pinpoint just what it all was about.
John Gray's 5 stages; attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity etc. and the need to do `em in order was spot on. It helped me label the emotions I feel and recognize when I'm letting my sweet daydreams intrude on reality in a new relationship.
The section on "elasticity" was also revealing. You know how a guy goes hot & cold on a relationship? JG explains that it's a process guys do to test their feelings for someone. We get close, then get unsure if she's the one, so we pull back. The revealing thing for guys is to figure out, after we've pulled back, are we happier with or without her, and then act on that feeling.
Those two thoughts alone are worth the price.
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27 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
All Stages Are Necessary, August 22, 2003
This review is from: Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship (Paperback)
The book describes the five stages of courtship: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, engagement. Although different people have called these stages different things, the second stage is the one that is unique to this book. When a couple begins dating, there is inevitably a period of uncertainty. Even if someone expresses his undying love on Friday night (and really means it), he can change his mind by Saturday morning. This period of uncertainty can really throw the other person off. "How can he possibly not love me today, when he loved me yesterday? What happened? What changed?" As a dating expert, I know first-hand that people are most confused by this period of uncertainty. And John Gray uncovers another gem-much uncertainty is caused by rushing intimacy. Once you understand this concept that, your next relationship will have a much greater chance of success if you follow the five stages of courtship in the order they were intended. This book is more like reading Shakespeare than flipping through the pages of Cosmopolitan. John Gray's writing style reflects the fact that he spent many years in school, writing thesis after thesis. Although it may be more fun to watch Sex and the City, reading this book will be a lot cheaper than reclining on a therapist's couch. Plus, you'll be one step closer to a lasting relationship.
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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A good read, but form your own opinions..., August 10, 2003
This review is from: Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship (Paperback)
This book has some good points and bad points. Like most relationship guides (i.e. The Rules), if you agree with what the author is saying, it's a good book. If you don't agree with them, it's a bad book. I think the point to take away with this book is that John Gray has talked to a LOT of people about relationships and the suggestions and information in this book is based on what he learned from talking to real people. For example, he talks about why men don't call after a date. I had no idea that if a man didn't call you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you. It's good to know the other reasons why he's not calling, and that not only is it okay for you to call him, but you SHOULD call him because it'll let him know that you're not mad at him for not calling! He does have some very old fashioned views, such as, the man should always pay for the dates. Nevermind if the man makes $25K a year and the woman makes $70K... now-a-days that kind of thinking is just not practical. He also says some strange things like, if a man opens a car door for you, you should not reach over and unlock his door because that will take away all the pleasure that he got from opening the car door for you. All in all, it's a good read, has some good information about the five stages of dating, why men and women act the way they do, how to talk to each other, and how to act. Take what you agree with and use it, but form your own opinions. Don't follow it like it's a bible.
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