Customer Reviews

Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I have frowned on this author's premise...that men and women are different biologically my whole life. Imagine my surprise to actually read this book and see myself and my recent ex on every page. I read parts of this book with him and we laughed until we cried about how totally RIGHT this book is. We have decided to give us another try utilizing some of the techniques in the book. So far...so good. A must read if you both want to make it work, but seem to be at the end of your rope. All my friends wanted a copy of this book once I talked to them about it. There are some really terrific insights into male/female behavior. And so far, I have found the advice about what we can each do to be a better partner to be right on the money. ---KMS

My wife and I have had our problems off and on for the past 14 years. It seemed we had problems we would never be able to solve. We both tried very hard but we didn't make much headway. I remember how much I was doing for my wife, thinking that is what would make her happy. I bought this book and read it first. I tried the suggestions and they worked. It sounds terrible but I have been able to decrease the amount of time I spend trying to make her happy. This because I can focus on her three or four specific needs as a woman.

The other side of the story, I now know what my needs are. She can focus on the three or four key needs I have so she can use her energies most effectively. For example when I have a problem, I need time to work it out in my mind. I need my time alone to do that. In the past, my wife would want to spend more time with me to talk about it. I didn't know why that irritated me so but it did. Now I understand why after reading John Gray's book. Often we do for our partner what we would want done for us. What is most interesting is, what we want done for us exacerbates the problems when they are done for our partner as in the above example.

Despite what some may say, men and women are different. I have four children, two of each gender. We have tried not to force our boys or girls to play with one toy or an other but the boys both gravitated to cars and the girls to Dolls. We even bought dolls for our oldest boy because he wanted what his older sister had. He later abandoned the doll and went for the trunks and cars. We are different, and how beautiful the difference.

Learn what those differences are so you can develop the love you have rather than work on the problems you are having.

In response to other reviewers, yes, this book does rely heavily on stereotypes of male and female behavior. If you find you don't fit the stereotypes (and of course not everyone does!), then you'll need to look for another book. But for many (most?) of us, the insights and advice in this book will be very helpful. As I read, I was constantly amazed by how much I could see myself and my husband in John Gray's descriptions. Last night I had my first opportunity to try out his techniques on how to prepare a man to listen...and it worked beautifully! A situation that would certainly have escalated into a hurtful argument was diffused into a calm, brief conversation that left both of us feeling warm and loving toward each other.

This information is excellent in helping couples understand that things we say can be taken one way by our partner when we really mean something else. I think it will help a lot of people out there who unintentionally may be hurting a relationship while trying to communicate.

I'm a big fan of the original Mars/Venus book. But the follow-ons, including this one, really add very little to the discussion. This one could be somewhat helpful as a further discussion of the ideas, but don't expect any new insights.

if you are married , this book will enrich your skills in understanding your mate. It is a book of a very good standard . it added a lot to me in how doing less but supporting more, to duck and dodge, to listen without interrupting and how to get the win/win solution. I recommend this book for all whome are married or about to be married.

"By understanding and honoring that men thrive on appreciation and women on communication, we gain the knowledge and the power to create mutually fulfilling relationships. ~ pg. 37

In most of John Gray's books he focuses his attention on women with a dominant feminine energy and males with a dominant masculine energy. In this book he also dedicates a chapter to women with a dominant masculine side and men with a dominant feminine side. In both cases he encourages men and women to adapt to the Mars and Venus stereotype to solve most problems. Men are encouraged to enhance their warrior skills (listening) while women are encouraged to enhance their nurturing skills.

John Gray does a good job in explaining why old relationship skills are not working in modern marriages. He believes relationship issues are inevitable. This means there is a need to develop new communications skills. In the first half of the book he mostly discusses how men need to learn to listen to women more and how women need to let men have their "cave/alone" time on a regular basis. For more information on this subject along with scientific proof read: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.

Since the stress of modern society (women having to take on all the responsibilities of home life along with working) is the real source of relationship problems, he explains how women can get what they need at home.

I liked the section on sexual polarity because it explains why some people don't fit into the typical stereotypes. There are also some interesting ideas on how to get a woman to talk if she is cold and evasive. It is also good to know that my husband is nurturing my feminine side by opening doors for me.

In this book in particular, John Gray shows us a little of his dark side or shadow self. He encourages men not to let this side dominate a conversation and explains more effective techniques for a more successful interaction. In fact he suggests that men should sleep on some issues before discussing them with their partner. So much for the "don't go to sleep angry" rule. To end the book, there is a section on "The Seven Secrets of Lasting Passion." In this chapter there is also a list of twenty things men can do to ignite passion in their partner.

After reading numerous John Gray books in the past few weeks I can say that this book in particular is more complex than the other books I had the pleasure to read. This may be the book that you will want to read twice because there is so much to absorb and learn.

~The Rebecca Review

Mars and Venus teaches woman and men how to communicate to each other. It shows woman how to get what they need and men how to fullfill the needs of thier wives. I would recommend this book to someone that is married or thinking about getting married.

This book is fantastic. It has fabulous down-to-earth tips for better understanding and dealing with your partner, as well as great stories that illustrate these ideas in easily digestible form.

Highly recommended... I think it has helped me a lot.

The content is different enough from "Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus" to make it a very worthwhile read, even to those who have the previous book. (though some might not agree, I think I gained a lot from reading both!)

if you are married , this book will enrich your skills in understanding your mate. It is a book of a very good standard . it added a lot to me in how doing less but supporting more, to duck and dodge, to listen without interrupting and how to get the win/win solution. I recommend this book for all whome are married or about to be married.