Marvellous Hairy is a marvelous little book. Since the author, Mark A. Rayner, took the title from "A Midsummer Night's Dream," it would have to be pretty good...or risk the wrath of Shakespeare's fans around the globe.
This chaotic, off-beat, satiric adventure starts with members of "Cult of the Claw" attending a friend's wedding where Nick Motbot and Dr. Tundra let monkeys, lizards and other lower primates loose on the unsuspecting guests. It escalates from there with a komodo dragon biting the groom's Chinese grandmother, weird ER scenes, and an excess growth of hair all over Nick's body, not to mention an odd protuberance sprouting from his tailbone.
Nick's best friend, Rob Goodman, who narrates the action, thinks the outlandish ceremony was "a work of demented art," which goes a long way in describing the mindset of this weird bunch of young people.
But aside from that riotous wedding distraction, the motley, fun-loving group suspects that Nick is devolving into a monkey. Nick is an odd, yet lovable character who has been working on a novel forever, supporting himself with money earned as a "guinea pig" for various medical experiments.
They suspect that behind Nick's problems is Ted Shute, the most influential businessman in town, owner and self-proclaimed King of Gargantuan Enterprises,which owns a fancy building they call the "Phallus." Shute is really an evil man who is practically insane over a crime he committed years earlier. To add to the fun, he has his own personal ghost to whom he constantly talks.
Enter Erma who is in love with Nick; "Hot Helen" who is Shute's mistress but also has a crush on Nick; Ariadne with whom Rob is falling in love...and the plot thickens.
You won't believe what happens when they put together a daring scheme to force Shute to reverse the DNA process he and his scientists have illegally performed on Nick. But first they must rescue Shute's daughter Hippolyta from Seedy and Spider, two losers who are infuriated when Shute refuses to pay the demanded ransom.
Who is Blossom and how does she help? How does poor Hippolyta trick her captors into becoming trapped inside her father's office? Do our friends reach poor Hippolyta in time? And why does Helen promise Shute his porn fantasy, a sexual "threesome" with the very young and innocent Ariadne?
But most important: Is Nick's "monkeyism" reversible? Will he ever be human again? If not, will Erma stay with him?
I must say that Rob seems to be the only sane one in the group, but with passages like this, I'm not even sure of that: <<So Nick and Erma were an item. Or they were, but they had yet to consummate their itemness in the time-tested and carnal manner.>> And this cracked me up: <<There were a few people outside (the hospital) smoking cigarettes. I'm always touched by the loopy solidarity of smokers... I once visited a friend in Minneapolis in February, and was surprised to see a knot of smokers outside in a raging blizzard, huddled together like Emperor Penguins, sharing a light; their meager breath hacking out of them in puffs of steam and a total defiance of common sense. It was magnificent.>>
All in all, this is a hilarious romp that comes to a screeching halt with a satisfactory ending.
Marvellous Hairy is a well-written book with an original plot and great bursts of humor and action. The only flaw is that the author--although very glib and creative--slowed it down in places by too many "gems" such as the two I quoted above. A little goes a long way and I was eager to get on with the action. Thus, this earns four stars instead of five. My apologies to the talented author, Mark A. Rayner.
End-note: When I said little book, I meant it, literally, since it is only 4 inches by 6 inches. I wasn't too impressed with that because I found it hard to get a good grip while reading.
Reviewed by Betty Dravis, February 5, 2010
Author of "Dream Reachers" (with Chase Von) and other novels
