Customer Reviews

Mary and Me: Catholic Women Reflect on the Mother of God

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Moyer, a freelance writer, shares stories of the "grassroots Mary" drawn from a diverse group of women. Bits and pieces of her own experiences of Mary are interwoven throughout. In the introduction we learn that Moyer suffered an ectopic pregnancy early in her marriage. In the chapter on Our Lady of Sorrows she writes of her later miscarriage and the effect it had on her relationship with Mary. Finally, in the epilogue Moyer reveals that she gave birth to healthy baby as she was completing work on the book. "As I hold my little son and pray for his health and safety and happiness, I sometimes think: This is how Mary held Jesus, how she looked at him, and what she hoped for him."

Though Moyer occasionally uses incidents from her own life, the bulk of the material represents other women's views on such themes as Mary's purity and virginity, the human desire to love and be loved unconditionally, and praying with the Blessed Mother. Childhood memories that emerge range from poignant to surprising. One woman recalls her mother's explanation of Mary as advocate using the image of prayer as a bushel of apples that Mary sweetens and bakes into a pie, which she presents to Jesus. Another interviewee's father disapproved of his family's participation in the parish rosary service. As an adult, she realized that her dad was offended by the "unhealthy perspective for women" surrounding the Blessed Virgin Mary.

One of Moyer's goals in writing Mary and Me was to provide readers with "occasions to ponder Mary in a new light." Her unique approach has done that.

In honor of the Feast of the Assumption I thought I'd do a review of a Mary book, my new favorite.

In "Mary and Me" Moyer collects the stories of more than forty women and weaves them into a compelling walk into a deeper relationship with Jesus' mom. Sure there are a lot of books about Mary, but Moyer takes a unique and very compelling approach here that really makes this book accessible to a much wider audience. This book is first and foremost a story about women's struggles and triumphs in coming to know the Mother of God. At the same time, these women share with us their journeys into faith, and Moyer invites us to walk with them.

Moyer arranges the stories around different moments of Mary's life (Annunciation, Visitation, Nativity, etc.) and themes (intercessor, apparitions, celebrations, etc.). My favorite chapter was on the Visitation because it raised so many insights that I had never really explored. Here's a quick quote to give you a taste: "What a relief each of them [Mary and Elizabeth] must have felt to be with another woman, one who could not only understand the physical experience of pregnancy, but who could marvel in the power that made it all possible. Two women, one too old to conceive, the other still a virgin, both expecting a child--that's the kind of experience that needs to be processed, shared, analyzed, and, most of all, celebrated. But before the celebration comes the journey: Mary's journey into community" (pp 22-23). Moyer goes on to share several stories of journey and community including the one from a Dominican Sister who tells of the community that rallied around them after a fire destroyed their motherhouse. Here Moyer shares her own struggles following a ectopic pregnancy and overcoming her desire to isolate herself from the very community of friends she needed for healing.

It's Moyer's own story, insight, and beautiful writing that holds this book together. I found myself brought to tears several times by how blessed I felt to be "pondering" Mary in these new ways. I have already given this book as a gift to my mother, my sisters, and many of my friends. When I find a book this good, all I want to do is share it with others.

Happy Feast Day!

Maybe Mary and Me won't be your cup of tea. Maybe you don't even really "get" the whole Mary thing...and you'd be in good company. This book is filled with reflections and insights from Catholic women, some of whom weren't always big fans of Mary. The author herself shares some reflections that had me laughing and grabbing the tissues.

In my world, there's a huge value to things that make me consider life differently. I don't always agree with the things that force my different perspective, but I do value them. It's one of the reasons why I so value my relationships with the friends in my life I can disagree with without the tingling in my scalp that signals anger and frustration.

I found this sort of value in Mary and Me. I also found new insight into the role of the Blessed Mother in my own life.

Consider suffering, for example - I often turn to Mary when I'm in pain, but I have only ever been able to articulate it vaguely. "Well, she was at the foot of the Cross," I'll reason in my head...and though I know that wasn't an easy thing to do, it seems sort of lame.


This book is one I'll lend out, though, be assured I'll be keeping track of who has it, because I know I'll be turning back to it. It's also the sort of book I'll be purchasing for friends...because I can think of quite a few women who need the wisdom, comfort, and insight that's included. You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate that God's mom loves you. You don't have to be a "Mary freak" to smile at the company of another woman's shoulder in times of challenge and pain. You don't have to be a big reader to make it through this relatively short book.

Being a cradle Catholic, Mary was always a presence in my life. But for all the pretty porcelain statues, I never exactly felt I could relate to her. I could respect that she was the mother of our Lord, but how could I possibly relate to a woman who was born perfect who I had no chance of realistically becoming similar to? Imagine my surprise when one of the women in the book asked the very same question! By taking a nice cross-section of women---various cultural backgrounds, ages and religious fervor--you see that Mary is universal and can offer something unique and personal to whoever approaches her in prayer. There were times when I did cry at some of the points made. One or two of them spoke directly to me in terms of things I'd been praying about but never shared with anyone else. I'm not a mom, so how could I relate to her raising Jesus then following Him to His destiny on Calvary? But the writer makes the point that even those who are childless can act maternally to anyone we come across in a day's time and in essence, bring Christ into the world again. Never thought of it that way! It's not a long book or one with any theological concepts too lofty or sublime. Just some women talking about "our tainted nature's solitary boast" in very real terms. She's not only with the saints in Heaven, but in her maternal love for us, reaches out to us to bring our hearts and minds not to her, but to her Son. What a comforting thought! You will definitely enjoy this book and I know I will be going back to it again and again.

This book helped me understand why Mary touches so many women. I'm really glad I read it.

I am not a Catholic, but I have a passion for spiritual books, and Moyer's Mary and Me has earned a permanent place on my "inspiration" shelf.

While solidly based in the Catholic faith tradition, the book does not have a theological agenda. Moyer fully and clearly explains spiritual terms and Biblical stories, making the book accessible to a wide range of readers. Her language is fresh and lively and the personal stories are moving; in fact, I couldn't put the book down and read it in one sitting.

Moyer has asked an honest question of real women: "What has Mary meant to you?" She has not used the interviews to argue a point; rather, she has gathered the stories, listened to their messages, and let the stories themselves decide the structure, form, and message of the book.

The Mary that emerges is rich and complex. The Mary that women come to know through the challenges, traumas, and joys of their lives is not the beatific image of the Renaissance portraits. As one women says, "She is a strong-willed, courageous women who defied convention and did the will of God." Another says, "Mary was a human being, a real women, a mother and a mother who suffered the ultimate loss."

The women who Moyer interviews share their most intimate stories: abusive parents, career crises, health issues, lost loves. And Moyers presents the tales of spiritual struggle and transformation with great tenderness and respect. In many places, I found myself moved to tears.

Moyer's language is snappy and appealing; at the same time, she masterfully transitions between her personal stories and analysis and the voices of the women she has interviewed. The two blend seamlessly.

Mary and Me is a satisfying, entertaining, touching, enriching read.