Customer Reviews

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books)

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In the latest book to discuss the dynamics of Master/slave relationships, we have "Master/slave Relations: A Handbook of Theory and Practice" by Robert J. Rubel, PhD. Like similar books by Christina Abernathy, Guy Baldwin, Jack Rinella or Jay Wiseman (who contributes this book's foreword), it sets out to explore the Master/slave dynamic. Building like a pyramid through various phases of mastery (and this is primarily a book directed to dominants), Dr. Rubel power-points his way through the book's near 200 pages.

Where Dr. Rubel excels here is in the details. He has a background as a financial CEO, and it shows. Protocol is the greatest part of Dr. Rubel's definition to Master/slave relationships, and references to manners and etiquette are liberally used. Also frequently placed throughout "Master/slave Relations" are fragments of commentary attributed to well known Master and slave individuals, allowing for additional gravitas from outside sources. This is no "whip'em into shape" handbook. "Master/slave Relations" aims to mold more than pulverize. It should be emphasized that one of the words in the book's title is "practice."

Referring back to Dr. Rubel's financial background, within the book's first 50 pages, he asks of the reader "How much are you willing to pay to get what you want?" He is not just posing this question financially (although financial responsibility does play a great role), but what are you - and by extension, your slave - willing to expand outside your pre-defined ideas of what you already have? His answers are structured and never glib, in fact, he uses several examples from the relationships in his life to punctuate his thoughts.

Even more important is Dr. Rubels' thoughts on the dynamics of the relationship. Most telling is a blocked off comment that reads:

"A slave's duty is to be of service to Master. That's it. The trick, then, is to be a Master worthy of such service."

Again, this is primarily a book for Dominants in search of greater understanding of D/s dynamics. The concept of reinvention is brought out frequently; structure (and I do mean that in a rigid fashion) and (here's that word again) protocols - mix with spirituality. What comes across throughout all of Dr. Rubel's work is the seriousness of it all. While he always comes off as sincere in his beliefs, there is more than a slight sense that you could well be reading a power-point presentation that you would otherwise be seated in an audience for. The density of "Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice" is so thick with scholarly intimation that you may have to take breaks from each chapter, to review and repeat. This could possibly be the most academic D/s lifestyle book I have ever encountered. If that is what your relationship (or search for understanding of self) requires, then by all means, delve in. Just be forewarned. The information here is invaluable, but it's also for the truly dedicated.

Now that you have a slave, what do you do with him or her? I'll tell you right now that this book will not answer that question for you. And for what the introduction claims the book is, it could be a far better guide to how to write "a master manual." The problem is that I've read no other book like it, and am uncertain of where else to point the hopeful reader who doesn't have a leather or kink community available as a local resource. if one keeps the introduction in mind and questions oneself as to what is really, really important in their day-to-day life as is, one can get an idea of how to assign tasks, train and remind a slave or submissive in how to serve specific interests.

Regarding the seemingly endless section about the dinner parties: if you don't have dinner parties, mentally substitute something that you find too time consuming to do yourself, but that you'd love to have someone else take care of for you. Preparing for and attending an Society of Creative Anachronism event? Tending to your artistic space? Buying produce? Tending to your feet? Really, anything truly nitpicky that you want done a certain way -- that section shows you how to give step-by-step detail in writing that a slave or submissive can refer to as they're doing the task.

Other tasks have detail given their importance TO THE AUTHOR. If there are things that the dominant / owner / daddy/ master (hereby known as the grand poobah, because I'm getting sick of typing all that) wants to do themselves, then they either get to specify that those actions are off limits unless specifically mentioned, or don't list them at all. Cleaning? What can be touched, and what should be left alone? How often? Spring cleaning? Seasonal changes, visits, decorations, etc? Who drives? How is the opening of doors dealt with? Dietary preferences and restrictions? If taken with the required grain of salt mentioned in the introduction, this book could help a lot of new people go from having their submissives post about looking for ideas for their grand poobah to having details instructions and a schedule already prepared after the contract is signed and the (training / temporary) collar is locked on.

I wish that Rubel had taken the time to outline his manual as he was presenting his information, as I've read reviews and even talked to people within my community who took offense at his tone because he wasn't being clear on providing a roadmap rather than specific expectations of behavior for all slaves. Indeed, a section regarding the potentially rude behaviors of guests at the above mentioned dinner parties would have been much more clear had it been explained why detailing such rude behavior was necessary to include in the manual; I can make some intelligent guesses, but it seems as though the manual involves a lot of in-references between the author and his slave that should have either been explained or edited out completely. Sidebars, more asides in italics and so on could have gone a long way to keeping otherwise normally intelligent and perceptive people from reading what they were used to reading -- lists of expected behaviors -- rather than what was being presented -- an outline of how to generate the behaviors the dominant reading the book would want for their particular life.

If this book ever ends up going out of print, I hope that the author redesigns it in a second edition rather than simply allow another printing of the same format. When presented in the right way, this could end up being a very valuable workbook for a number of budding ... well, poobahs.

I am amazed at what I am learning from this book. It seems the answers to all the little problems I have been struggling with are here. I had the pleasure of meeting the author at an event in Florida recently and I can tell you his workshops are excellent and he does a fantastic job of summing it all up for you in this wonderful book. I am having a hard time putting it down and have put a lot of the information to good use already. This is a must have for anyone trying to master an M/s relationship. Some of the best money I have spent on reading material.

I consider this an expansion in many ways of the Leather Protocols book by Rubel. Here he gives more explicit examples of his own protocols and asks the reader to really consider what they might include and should include in their own should they chose the very, very rare path of an owner-slave or master-slave relationship. Personally my own protocols (yes, I do live this life, too) are not nearly as formal but these are very much the same considerations I felt were necessary to address when I began and as I continue in this life. Take the questions seriously don't just copy Rubel's ideas. Also don't plan on just jumping quickly into these relationships -- success requires planning and continuous reflection.

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice deconstructs an M/s relationship into manageable parts so that each person/couple/family can construct the relationship they want and keep it going. There is enough flexibility to meet a variety of needs, regardless of sexuality, but enough structure to provide a successful experience for most kinky folk. Great read!

Wow! An A to Z discussion of what goes into developing and maintaining a Leather Master/slave relationship. This guy clearly knows what he's talking about. Rubel begins by defining his terms, moves through self examination, touches on ways of finding a slave, describes how to begin such a relationship, moves through collars and contracts and ends up with a slightly irreverent section called: "How's it Going?" All in all, this book provides a comprehensive and fresh look at this form of relationship. You should also check out his companion book, Protocols for the Leather Slave. Judging from the covers, they are probably meant to be companion works.

so far this book is amazing,very detailed,i originally bought because my boyfriends was nervous and didn't know much about this lifestyle,but he was interested,so i thought if i bought a book that explained in great detail about this lifestyle,it may make him more comfortable,this book describes how to start/maintain a healthy and fun M/s or D/s relationship and much more,i recommend this book to experienced and beginners alike,although this book primarily focuses on the master/dom individual,its also helpful to the slave/submissive,im very happy with this book as it has opened up alot of possibilities in a structured manner that ive found amazing,along with all the things i myself have learned (and i thought i knew a good deal) this book is all around a good buy two thumbs up

This is a well written book. I like his style of writing. If you want to learn about leading a Master / slave relationship, then this book should be on your bookshelf and both M and s should read it.

This is a great book, a "must have" for any BDSM library..
Love the work, keep in mind He is writing from lst person experience.

A decade of M/s knowledge in one book

Both books Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice and
Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave: Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel, PhD
Cover the same subject with a slightly different focus.

It amazes me that knowledge that took me years to learn is now available in 7 easy steps. The book can accelerate your journey into BDSM by a decade.