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Masters of Horror: Pelts

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2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The second season of Showtime's "Masters of Horror" has had more than its share of inauspicious offerings. So I was intrigued and delighted when Italian horror legend Dario Argento was invited to the party again. Season One's Argento was "Jenifer" which, to me, was more of an oddity than an entertainment. But I never count Argento out. To be honest--I hadn't seen Argento around in the few years prior to "Masters," but his early Giallo-style influence on modern horror is undeniable. And while nothing in "Pelts" come close to his lyrical and haunting masterpiece "Suspiria," it is still a demented bit of fun (and a big improvement over "Jenifer."

Meatloaf (I will do anything for pelts, but I won't do that!) stars as a fur trader looking to cash in on some quality skins. With a big score, he hopes to win the love of a most unpleasant stripper. John Saxon is a trapper who ensnares a whole slew of beautiful raccoons. For reasons that aren't particularly important (just go with it) they are mystical and guard something vaguely supernatural. Anyone who comes into contact with the pelts from these beasts can expect to meet with a little nastiness.

Buoyed by a great, over-the-top performance by Meatloaf--I had a lot of fun with "Pelts." I never connected with the supernatural angle, but I didn't try to overthink it either. There are some good effects, a decent amount of gore, and a playful tone. The ending, in particular, reaching a crescendo that is almost operatic in scope. One of the more interesting entries into a very hit-or-miss anthology. KGHarris, 12/06.

This is my first Masters of Horror movie I watched due to such bad reviews of almost every one of them. I read good things about this one (hi Chris and M!) so I decided to pick it up. And boy am I glad I did. If you want to sit back and enjoy a good gore fest then I would definitely recommend this. Argento definitely does not hold back with the grossness. I haven't been happily goriefied in quite some time. And not only that... we are also blessed with a ton of nudity. So much nudity that I actually kind of felt bad about our main actress cause I think she was topless for about 90% of her scenes. And then we have Meatloaf. You can never go wrong when Man-Boob Bob is in your movie. He played his part wonderfully in Pelts as a horny, sleazy, and uncaring fur coat maker looking for a big paycheck.

Oh... the story is about some raccoons with some guardian spirits in them. They die and get skinned. But their guardian spirits live on and get revenge. Sounds dumb I know, but the story isn't THAT bad. But, like porn, are you really watching this for the story or are you watching this for something else!

Dario Argento knows Horror. Dario Argento knows gore and blood. And he knows how to do it in style.

Fast paced and interesting plot. Gruesome, agonizing and jawdropping deaths. Pelts is graphic gore, blood spattering, vomit inducing entertainment to the extreme. Masters of Horrors scored big with this one.

Do you like the old HBO series TALES FROM THE CRYPT? If so, PELTS may just be tailor made for you. In this installment of the popular MASTERS OF HORROR series, director Dario Argento gives us PELTS, the story of a fur trader named Jake Feldman (Meat Loaf Aday, who really needs to drop that last name, IMO) who stumbles upon the furs of several enchanted raccoons, and decides to make the world's most beautiful coonskin coat with them, in order to seduce Shana, the lesbian stripper of his dreams(A role filled out very nicely by Ellen Ewusie). One small problem: The furs, being once attached to enchanted-forest-dwelling raccoons, curse whomever they come in contact with to die as the raccoons themselves did; bloody, hideous, painful deaths.

So in no short order, the trapper who originally trapped the animals and killed them, his son, and several sweatshop workers are dead in stupendously over the top fashion, from gutting themselves, to diving face first onto a bearclaw trap (A great moment of giallo that is sure to please the gorehounds out there) to actually sewing their face shut. The only question left is whether or not Feldman can resist the siren song of the furs long enough to dump them and surive the nightmare he's found himself in.


The plot IS, as other reviews have stated, flat out ridiculous, but in PELTS' defense, no more so than the average episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT used to be. In fact, if you threw in a Cryptkeeper intro and extro, this would be a slam bang episode of TFTC. The acting is solidly in the B-movie range, as you'd expect from a made for cable movie, and only Meat Loaf really stands out from the rest of the cast. The gore is plentiful enough to keep the gorehounds happy, there's plenty of bare breasts to keep T & A fans happy, and over all, horror fans in general should find enough in PELTS to suit their fancy. A great entry into the MASTERS cannon, right alongside Argento's other entry, JENIFER. Recommended.

Italian horror scribe Dario Argento's second season "Masters of Horror" is a short film called "PELTS". The short film is based on the short story by F. Paul Wilson with its teleplay written by Matt Venne. Dario Argento is a master of horror indeed, while this installment isn't necessarily the best among the "Masters of Horror" series, it may well be one of the goriest.

Jake Feldman (Meatloaf Aday) is a short-tempered eccentric furrier struggling to build a small-time business in fur coats while being obsessed with a very sexy stripper (Ellen Ewusie). One day, a sadistic backwoods trapper (John Saxon) kills a strange group of raccoons and calls Jake to sell the "special" raccoon hide. Jake knows that quality pelts can help him make it big in the fur business. The problem is, these are no ordinary pelts; anyone who comes in contact with them are driven insane--to perform acts of self-mutilation and murder. Even if Jake does manage to possess both the fame and the sexy stripper he so covets, what is the price to be paid?

PELTS isn't really a scary short film. The film's plot is so severely underdeveloped and fails to induce a decent scare. Instead of creating a spooky atmosphere, with the characters being fleshed out (or in this case "fleshed off") so you can form an attachment to them, the film goes into a different direction. The film goes for a gross-out experience that really tries to push the envelope. The film does provide a lot of fun in terms of blood and gore. Argento relies on some CGI effects but most of the film's key sequences are done in the old-school way; using prosthetics and a lot of red ink. The gore scenes are actually a lot of fun to watch, but with the film's lack of an enthralling storyline, the film fails to be very memorable.

The film has a lot of holes in its script and the so-proclaimed curse of the pelts needed a lot of (ahem) development. To Argento's credit, the film is nicely paced and the performances seem solid enough. Greed, selfishness and lust all play into our main characters. The mutilation and death sequences are inventive enough to give me an unsettling grossed out feeling. The film also has subtle injections of commentary against animal cruelty and such.

The performances of the cast is quite acceptable. Meat Loaf Aday has a very specific talent in playing an unlikable character and the role fits him to a `T'. Together with Ellen Ewusie as a gold-digging stripper, the two does have a certain amount of chemistry between them--an odd one, honestly, but chemistry nonetheless. The two does manage to make the most of whatever small material they have to work with.

PELTS is a decent entry in the "Masters of Horror" series and I had a lot of fun watching it. Gorehounds will have a reason to rejoice and as with most entries in the series, the film does have an abundance in female nudity and sex. The weakness in its story makes it rather difficult to look past the gore elements, but whatever little key elements it does have sure provide a lot of fun. Dario Argento is definitely capable of better outings but at least, "Pelts" isn't the let down I feared.

Recommended to horror/gore fans, and a good rental to everybody else. [3 ½- Stars]

Okay, that sounds stupid. But trust me, this gory short film rules!
Meatloaf makes fur coats out of the pelts of dead raccoons. But the little critters' ghosts hold a grudge and put a curse on all those involved.
It's easy to overlook this weak storyline due to all the gore and nudity. Fright Master Dario Argento is the best with gruesome deaths, and he doesn't hold back here. There were a few disgusting self-mutilation scenes that looked way too realistic.
Really, with all the vivid gore and hot naked chicks you don't get a chance to get annoyed by the plot. A must-see for horror buffs.

Oh where do I begin?

This has got to be one of the best, if not the best, episodes of both Masters of Horror seasons. This was truly gore at its finest. Some of the other episodes claim to be about horror but never really delivers. Not so with Argento's contribution.

Warning: Even though I'm a vegan, don't let that influence you when reading my review. Of course, I'm happy the characters got it in karmic spades, but I am a horror fan and feel I can contribute an unbiased critique of Argento's work.

With that said, allow me to continue: This has it all: sex, nudity, girl-on-girl, seedy people, pretty girls, blood, more blood, gore galore, humor, etc. For me, I walked away with a huge feeling of satisfaction from the conclusion of this horrific installment. Everyone connected to the racoon slaughter got what they deserved--big time!

I'd like to insert spoilers here but I know that wouldn't be fair to you. So, all I can say is go rent or buy this DVD and see if it isn't the very best episode in the whole MOH series.

To my fellow veggies, if you can stomach one racoon killing which is of course fake, then by all means watch it. You'll not be disappointed by how karma grabs her victims by the jugular and rips their throats out.

I still shudder when I think about it.

Dario Argento's second episode for the Masters of Horror TV series, Pelts, is a distinct improvement on his first, Jenifer, and also probably the goriest thing he's ever done. Again, surprises aren't really on the menu, but this time the execution is a lot more inspired, especially since the show seems to be on a dare to see just how far it can go and doesn't chicken out. The story is a fairly simple don't muck with Mother Nature one as everyone who comes into contact with a series of beautiful racoon pelts, from John Saxon's grizzled trapper to Meat Loaf's desperate furrier and the stripper he lusts after, meet increasingly gory ends that mirror the various stages from trap to fur coat. The visuals are good, making much play on cages and traps without being over-obvious, while Claudio Simonetti's score gives the pelts themselves a seductively beautiful theme and there's a particularly good performance from Meat Loaf Aday. The featurette on the DVD also reveals that the racoons themselves are played, rather convincingly at that, by West Highland Terriers in fur coats...

Not as many extras as on the first Masters of Horrors series, but still a recommended episode.

After watching Argento's "Jennifer" first and then "Pelts", the difference was obvious to me. Where "Jennifer" had a more murkier approach to its story--we are brought in the middle where Jennifer makes yet another appearance in someone's life and we have learned nothing about her past or who she is and what her motivations are--you will be left with no doubt where you stand by the end of "Pelts". Everything works with this MOH installment. Meatloaf gives a terrific performance as this perpetually pissed off furrier who obsesses over a stripper half his age. Knowing he can't have her just seems to egg him on (and piss him off) more. Then you get these magical raccoons thrown into the mix. This is the one murky spot in the story--you only know that they come from an enchanted raccoon city that just happens to be beyond a neighbor's cow pasture. Yeah, I don't know where that one came from either. But the pelts are cursed and anyone who touches them has their fate sealed-and ended by some kind of grisly act of self-mutilation. I'm not giving anything away here, you'll figure this out after the first 10 minutes or so. The real story is the erotic cat and mouse game that Mealoaf's character and the stripper play with each other throughout the film. I'm not one for sexual tension as a main story theme, but this one has a HUGE payoff at the story's ending, which is quite amazing. When you see it, you'll definitely say holy cow. If you are familiar with Argento's previous masterpieces, then you'll recognize the elements: the very eerie music by Claudio Simonetti, the leader of the band Goblin (they did the music for "Susperia" and Romero's "Dawn of the Dead"), the surreal multi-colored lighting, and the over-the-top violence that is poetry in and of itself. The extras are somewhat more sparse than what we have been accustomed to from the first season. There is a small featurette about the making of the episode; another featurette about the special make up effects; the screen play and of course a commentary track, this time with the writer instead of the actor or director. My only beef about that is how "Pelts" wasn't even Matt Venne's story--he lifted it from the far superior F.Paul Wilson (whom some of you might remember wrote The Keep)--now a commentary by him would have been interesting! It will also be interesting in the future to see if Argento collaborates with his daughter Asia for another MOH entry. Thank you, Dario, for this one, however!

I've seen a few of the Masters of Horror films and I'm not very fond of most of them. Pelts is so far my favorite. Pelts really revives the 80s brand of horror with lots of gore, bad acting and a lot of nudity. The plot is fairly original, too. (not that the plot is that important) After catching a group of racoons to make a fur coat, the people involved start dying grizzly deaths similar to the racoons. And trust me some of those deaths are nasty. I would recommend this flick to any slasher fan out there.