Customer Reviews

Masturbation Tantra and Self Love

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book has one core teaching, which describes a technique using masturbation to raise erotic energy, and bring it up to the heart (rather than release it in orgasm). Margo is very eloquent on the positive aspects of masturbation, and its benefits in our sex lives generally; she uses the practices in the book to successfully resolve issues in her life regarding relationships and food. It's an easy technique to adopt for beginning tantra practitioners, who may not yet be able to sense chi movement within their body - after 3 months, most everyone can.

It's definitely the simplest beginning tantra practice guide I've yet seen, after reading avidly about tantra for several months. Good stuff!

What to say about this book...

I read the entire thing in one day (it's very easy to read) and I have to say that I was surprised by how little it actually focused on masturbation. I guess I was expecting a more in-depth guide. The basic premise is essentially making masturbation an "experience" involving self-massage, relaxation and affirmation, then bringing yourself close to orgasm, stopping, and letting the energy travel up into your heart; repeat.

And that's about all there is to it.

Besides the ONE chapter she devotes to masturbation--yes, one (1)--every other chapter is about how sexuality influences relationships, culture, our personal lives, our children, and so on. Masturbation is a part of almost every chapter, but it's really not the focus most of the time. A better title for this book would have been "Self-Love and Sexuality", because masturbation is really only part of the author's whole path to 'sexual health' as she sees it.

That aside, my main issue with this book is that it's annoyingly naive. While sex is certainly a spiritual experience--in fact, profoundly so--she essentially seems to think that most of our personal and interpersonal problems could be solved if we could 'just remove all these sexual inhibitions in our lives and culture'. Uhm, sexual repression is certainly a problem, but it's not THE problem. Sexuality is so outrageously glorified in this book to the point where it becomes her fix for almost every problem in her life and the lives of her readers, including food, heavy menstrual cramps, and dysfunctional relationships. She seems to suggest that if we could just love ourselves and open ourselves sexually these would go away.

How silly.

She also spends a lot of time blaming Christians, Christianity and Judeo-Christian culture for almost all of the sexual problems in our modern world. In the 80's when this was written, and Christian culture in America was still deeply entrenched in sexual repression, this is understandable. However she goes so far as to suggest that venereal diseases are a result of sexual repression, because ancient Greek culture and pre-Christian societies 'didn't have them'. Say what? Venereal diseases have been a problem for as long as cultural promiscuity and unsafe sex has existed, which is forever. She does not state her source on this erroneous information. Statements like these are irritating in their naivete, and is a sign of how outdated the book is.

Furthermore, it is one-sided and unbalanced. She talks about how porn is useful and good for society without once even suggesting that it can be destructive (and 30 years of research since this book's publication shows that it has the capacity to be highly destructive, especially with the creation of the internet). Like much of the sexual revolution, her attempt to move away from the debilitating and degrading harm of sexual repression and to more sexual openness has resulted in the pendulum swinging drastically into the opposite extreme.

She also mentions sexuality and children, which I found to be the most outrageous part of the book. YES, it's important for parents to help children feel comfortable with their sexuality, guide them on personal erotic development and finding healthy and appropriate ways to express themselves sexually. But that's about as sane as it gets. She mentions once finding out a group of children, hers among them--ages 3-6--at a neighborhood daycare having oral sex with each other in the bathroom, and finds this unusual but "appropriate". Pardon me? Something is clearly wrong with her thinking in this area. Children are not adults and do have have the capacity to make the mature sexual decisions that adults can make. Allowing children to have sex is like giving a little kid the keys to a Mercedes and saying "have fun". I had so many 'WTF' moments while reading this book that it almost drowned out the good stuff.

That said, the few good and balanced things-- and there are so very few-- in this book are worth noting. The emphasis on the importance of loving your body, appreciating and respecting your sexuality (and spending time exploring it by yourself), removing orgasm as a goal of sex, and the importance of taking personal responsibility for your own pleasure and satisfaction rather than placing unfair demands on others, are all very good points. But those were the diamonds in the rough.

I was extremely disappointed with this book and gave it 2 stars instead of 1 because I did actually learn some useful things, if only a few.

Really not worth the money and I regret purchasing it. If you can get this book from the library or for free, it's interesting and worth reading as long as you don't take it too seriously-- but don't buy it.

This is a good solid book that I read from cover to cover - and I'm glad it did, because it's changed the way I feel about my own sexuality, intimacy, and my partner.

I'm not really sure how to review this. Is it a must read? yes. Take everything as gospel? Definitely not. Grasp the essential teachings? You should.

It's clear that the author took a long time writing this book, and the levels of optimism throughout the writing show.

In short? Yes, buy it, because the content that is worth grasping is worth much more than the price. But question the validity of some opinions too.

4.5 stars for a more rewarding sex life

I bought this book to help my son Jonathan see a more zen side to masturbation. Or in fact any other side than the furtive and grubby.