The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate [Hardcover]

Steven Sacks (Author), Bonnie Eaker Weil (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Finding that people rely too much on their gut when choosing significant others, Sacks developed Mate Map, a structured tool for assessing potential partners, when he was having romantic troubles of his own. Amid some fairly generic overarching guidelines, three "relationship essentials" govern the method: magnetism, love, and personality fit. That last, interesting component comprises profile attributes (such as age, ethnicity, and education) and many spectrum attributes (calm/hotheaded, energetic/mellow, etc.) that help identify attractive qualities. Attributes are scored on a sliding scale, and potential mates rack up points. Illustrative, informative, and not as rigid or wacky as it sounds, Mate Map will at least encourage readers to be a bit more "heads up" when shopping around. More helpful than Laura Doyle's Surrendered Single, which makes landing a man feel like roping a bull, Sacks's work stands as an analytical version of Barbara DeAngelis's Are You the One for Me?
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Banner Pub; 1 edition (August 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0971388709
• ISBN-13: 978-0971388703
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,829,693 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Structure and Analysis in Dating., December 5, 2002

By 

tvtv3 "tvtv3" (Sorento, IL United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate (Hardcover)

Just about every book on relationships and dating that have ever been printed, deal with relationships mainly on an emotional level. Even the ones that don't are often nothing more than a short book of simple common sense sayings. THE MATE MAP is nothing like that. THE MATE MAP looks at dating and relationships through an almost purely analytical microscope. I say almost, because though the book illustrates how to deconstruct, analyze, and evaluate one's relationships, it leaves enough room for the guide to be "individualized" so that one may customize this "mate-selection process".

THE MATE MAP allows a person to evaluate their relationships in much the same way a CEO or manager would evaluate their business. The only difference being that the business people have a bottom line of money and the bottom line in relationships, according to the author, is one's own happiness and satisfaction.

This approach may seem cold and cruel to some becauase it does take away much if not all of the romance involved in an intimate relationship. I am a romantic myself. Nevertheless, I cannot deny that if more people followed some sort of structure like the one set forth in THE MATE MAP instead of just flinging themselves into their romantic feelings; many relationships would be improved, divorce rates would drop, and there would be a lot more happy people in the world.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent guide and resource, October 22, 2002

By 

Heartsong (Raleigh, NC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate (Hardcover)

"The Mate Map", is more than just a self-help book about how to have a successful relationship. Many relationships fail because an individual makes assumptions and projects their expectations onto the other person. "The Mate Map" holds the individual accountable for what they want and desire in a relationship by presenting a list of attributes one seeks in a relationship. It then gives examples as to how each attribute could or could not be compromised depending on the individual's standards. The individual then rates these attributes on a scale of importance. Through a series of exercises and evaluations, these attributes are then applied to an already existing relationship or one that is in its beginning stages.

If you are looking for someone to make you happy and fill a void, this book is not a quick fix. If you are one who takes responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions, "The Mate Map" is an excellent guide and resource and can be quite effective towards a successful, fulfilling relationship.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Practical Approach for Testing Compatibility, March 20, 2003

By 

Harold McFarland (Florida) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Mate Map: The Right Tool for Choosing the Right Mate (Hardcover)

Have you ever wondered if there might be a tool to organize and rank the things that are important in a successful relationship in such a way that it would show you whether someone was the "right" person or not? That is the premise behind "The Mate Map". The author takes you first through the basic principles of the Mate Map as well as dispelling relationship myths and defining relationship truths. With this foundation then laid, he takes you through the Mate Map process in intricate detail. The process is easy to follow and is complete with forms and examples of how to work with them as well as an extensive section on how to interpret them. The idea is that you would go through the process yourself and the other person you are interested in would also go through the process. The result is a map that shows how compatible the two of you are. The process is extensive and appears to provide a detailed analysis of what is important to you, what is not important, and what you are really looking for in a relationship. While I can't say if it works or not, I can say that it should at least open your eyes to the most important factors to you in a relationship. It is a recommended read for anyone seeking to find that right someone.