CHAPTER 1 Lulu's Café
Tuesday, January 16
12:01 p.m.
Mimi Plaisance groaned as she pulled her green Freestar minivan into a parking spot in front of the friendly but divey Lulu's Café in Southwest Ohio's Cheeksville. The other women's cars were already there. She hated to be late, especially for these get-togethers -- the one point of sanity in an otherwise chaotic existence. Mimi prided herself on being punctual. Even while rearing three children -- now five, eight, and ten -- she had succeeded at keeping it "all together." Well, almost. Last year had been a bust. And this year looked to be more of the same. Worse, actually.
All because of baby Milo. The child who refused to cooperate.
Well, she wasn't about to miss her lunch date with her three best friends, Jennifer, Felicia, and Lisa -- all pastors' wives, like her, from churches in her hometown of Red River, forty miles from where they secretly noshed every other Tuesday. It was their only chance to get away from their nosy, busybody town.
Because Mimi gave birth to Milo on December 22 -- the day of her church's live nativity and Christmas sing-along -- the four women had discussed canceling their biweekly gathering at Lulu's, at least until things settled down for Mimi. But they'd all quickly agreed: Their time together was worth juggling holiday schedules and maneuvering snow-covered back roads. Mimi was grateful; she desperately needed to get away and spend some time with adults. Being alone all day with a screaming, colicky baby and a whiny, ornery five-year-old in the afternoons was enough to make her pull out strands of her blond hair and tie their mouths shut.
But packing up Megan and her newborn brother and getting them settled at the baby-sitter's was a real trick. Not to mention trying to avoid the snoopy comments and questions from Gladys, the nearly-seventy-year-old who watched the kids for her.
Gladys had never before asked where Mimi dashed off to every other Tuesday. But now that Mimi had Milo, who was less than a month old, the upraised eyebrow and less-than-subtle judgments began. "It's not good for you to drive in this kind of weather -- especially since you have another baby ...Is Pastor okay with you runnin' off like this?...It must be somethin' mighty important for you to leave these babies every other week..." And on and on.
Mimi tried to be as noncommittal as possible without being rude. Where she went was nobody's business -- even though the members at her church, Trinity United Methodist, tended to think otherwise. The one good thing about Gladys was that she didn't blab. Mimi's secret was safe. At least she hoped so.
Mimi glanced at the dashboard clock. 12:02.
Well, technically, I'm on time. She pulled her red angora scarf tight about her neck, just in time to see one of her "favorite" people come out the door of Lulu's.
"Oh, great." She groaned and ducked to the side, hoping Katherine Katt, the notorious Kitty, wouldn't see her.
Tap, tap, tap.
Maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away, Mimi thought, even though she knew there was no escaping Kitty.
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Mimi inhaled deeply, pasted her best pastor's wife smile on, and turned toward the window. There stood Kitty in her trademark bright yellow coat and gloves, both with black fur trim. With her black bouffant hairdo, Kitty resembled a giant bumblebee more than the pastor's wife of First Presbyterian, the oldest and largest church in the county.
"Oh, hi, Kitty!" Mimi said as she opened the door to get out, acting as if she'd just noticed Kitty standing there.
Kitty smiled her big, toothy grin. "If I didn't know you better, Mimi, I'd think you were trying to avoid me." She laughed and pulled her faux fur collar closer around her.
"Not at all, Kitty." Mimi reached over, grabbed her purse, and held it up. "I was just getting this. It's nice to see you." God, forgive me, she thought as she uttered this obvious lie.
"Ah, yes. Well, I was just having a little chat with your girlfriends." She pursed her lips, as if just saying the words left a bad taste in her mouth, like sucking on a lemon.
Well, it would match her outfit, Mimi thought.
Mimi knew Kitty hated that the four pastors' wives got together routinely without involving -- or inviting -- Kitty. It gave Mimi a silent thrill to know that it must be eating Kitty alive not to have her hand in all things PW. The thought made her smile brightly -- genuinely, this time.
"Speaking of, I should probably get in there. I don't want to keep them waiting." Mimi shut the car door and stepped toward the curb as Kitty's hand reached out and grabbed her sleeve.
"You may want to talk to them about the pastors' wives' retreat coming up. I mentioned it, but coming from you..."
Was that a slight sign of defeat? Mimi wondered.
"Well, it's never too early to plan," Kitty continued. "I know you'll all want to be there. It will mean so much to your churches and husbands, I'm sure."
Leave it to Kitty to cop a superior attitude with a raw comment. Mimi knew where Kitty's line was going and mentally finished it. After all, you and the others have so much you can learn from me, since I am the pastor's wife of the largest and most respected church in the area, and your churches are, well, significantly smaller and less known. Kitty never could pass up a chance to remind the other pastors' wives how unimportant they were in comparison to her.
The snow was now falling in large flakes, covering Mimi's blond bob and dark- colored peacoat. "I'm sure we'll all be there. We wouldn't want to miss it."
"I have exciting things planned for this year's retreat."
"Something to look forward to," Mimi said, working her way toward Lulu's.
"I'm almost dying to tell you, but I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."
"Definitely. We wouldn't want that. 'Bye now." Mimi slipped through the door into the brightly lit café before Kitty could say anything else. The warm air rushed from the vents above the door and swooshed around Mimi. It felt wonderful, even if she did feel flushed from her Kitty encounter. She shook her head and brushed off her coat, which appeared to be covered with dandruff.
In their typical booth toward the back right-hand corner of the café sat Mimi's three friends: the PWs, they called themselves. They'd first received that honorary title from their waitress, Gracie, who discovered that they were all pastors' wives. The name stuck.
"Ha!" Jennifer said, pointing and laughing. "She got you, too."
Mimi shook her head slyly.
"I liked your little football tackle move to avoid her," Jennifer continued. She ducked first one way, then another. "Whoo! Haah!"
"You know that never works with Kitty," Felicia said. "I've tried that move several times. Always backfires."
"Well, I saved it by grabbing my purse as my excuse," Mimi defended as she tossed her coat into the next booth and scooted in next to Felicia.
Felicia was, as usual, dressed in a business suit -- dark mauve this time -- since she'd joined them from her public relations firm in Cincinnati.
"Yes, I've even used that as an excuse," Felicia continued. "It's like hope springs eternal, you know? I keep thinking, This time it will work. This time I'll be able to avoid her."
"Who are you avoiding this time?" Gracie, their waitress, said as she came from behind Mimi and plopped a large glass of milk in front of her.
"You, if you keep pushing that homemade apple pie at me." Felicia laughed.
Gracie snorted and eyed Mimi appreciatively. "Look at you, girlie. How'd you get the pregnancy weight off so quickly? It's only been a month."
"With you taking off work, nobody's been here to feed me properly," Mimi joked. Mimi knew Gracie took off a month to visit her sister in Florida who'd recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. She hoped that Gracie's brush with mortality had made her more open to the spiritual side of things. Mimi and the other pastors' wives had been working on Gracie since they first started meeting together for lunch here nearly two years earlier. Gracie had always told them she had no interest in anything spiritual, but a few times had mentioned that knowing the PWs had made her appreciate their faith. "Keep working, ladies," she'd told them. "Maybe one of these days..."
"Gracie," Mimi now said, "how's your sister?"
"She's okay. They took both her buddies, so she's mourning that. But they gave her a good prognosis."
"Buddies?" Lisa asked, seemingly bewildered.
"Breasts," Jennifer whispered.
"Oh!" Lisa nodded.
"We've been praying for her," Felicia told Gracie. "And for you."
"Keep it up, girls. Keep it up. Your food will be up soon. I went ahead and ordered your usual." Gracie tapped the table and winked at Mimi before she plodded off to her other customers.
"Am I that predictable?" Mimi said to her friends.
"Naw," Jennifer replied. "Only every other Tuesday. You look great, by the way."
Felicia and Lisa chimed in immediately with their agreement.
Mimi held up her hands. "Thanks, but I don't feel great. Obviously you aren't noticing the huge black rings around my eyes. Nor have you noticed the large, baggy clothes to hide the pooches. See?" She pinched her oversized cranberry sweater.
"Well, you still look great," Lisa said. "After having my two kids, it took me forever to lose the weight. Actually, twelve years later and I'm still trying!" She laughed.
"I'll loan you my four monsters," Mimi replied. "That should do the trick."
"I don't get it," Jennifer cut in. "You said four monsters. How can a sweet little baby be a monster already? I mean, with your other three I get the connection. But Milo?"
"Girlfriend, sweet little babies can be the worst!" Felicia said.
"Oh, Milo's sweet when he sleeps, which is never. The kid e...
