Customer Reviews

May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons: A Journey Among the Women of India

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

As a second generation Indian American, a true understanding of the Hindu culture my parents grew up with has not been easy to attain. Bumiller's book provided me with a key to some of the understanding I feel that I have always lacked. Reading her book took me back to my experiences travelling in India. It also provided me with great insights into the worldview of my own mother, grandmothers, aunts, and cousins that are women, although I was a little disappointed that the resilience of the women she studied was implied, but it was not explicitly stated and emphasized. Finally, her book was excellent at raising some very thought provoking questions about both the human condition and (especially) the condition of women in our world. I highly recommend it to anyone that is interested in exploring these avenues of thought.

Elisabeth Bumiller's account of the lives of women from various walks of life, accumulated during her time spent living in India in the 1980s via interviews and friendships and augmented by the extensive reading she did on the subject before, during, and after her time in India, proved to be a "good read". It was not merely a series of personal anecdotes (lacking in broader perspectives and studies) nor did it err on the other end by being little more than a dry, academic, emotionally detached account of bride burning, dowry murders, female infanticide, the film industry of Bollywood, overpopulation, arranged marriages, domestic hardships, and the like. Instead it was a passionate and thoughtful account by a Westerner living in India who grew to love the people she met and whose research reflected the respect and curiosity she had for the women of India.

Some of the reviews of this book have accused it of being "stereotypically western", "condescending", "shallow", "overgeneralized to the point of being trashy", exhibiting a "Western imperialism", "colonial mindset", or being a "stereotypical account with a liberal dose of sensationalism". I can only say that I found none of those things to be the case when I read the book. There is no doubt that the author's western background and mode of thinking provided the platform from which she observed and evaluated her experiences in India, but she went to a great deal of trouble to broaden her own impressions by consulting the people of India about the problems of India: through her friendships made in India, through numerous interviews (and follow-up interviews) with people from both city and rural areas and from different castes, through viewing of films and television, through reading various Indian magazines (e.g., India Today, Business India, etc.), various Indian newspapers (e.g., The Times of India, The Telegraph of Calcutta, Indian Express,etc.), through special reports (e.g., "Women in India: A Statistical Profile - 1988" put out by the Department of Women and Child Development via the Ministry of Human Resource Development in the Government of India), and through reading various books written by both Indian authors (e.g., Sudhir Kakir, Jawaharlal Nehru, Chidananda Das Gupta, et. al) and foreigners who had lived in India. The result is a balanced and broad view of some of the problems being faced by women in India, not a provincial, overgeneralized, condescending, stereotypical account of India.

Her account is certainly not a dry, emotionally detached one but rather one in which she is actively involved. Is she opinionated? Sure: that's what keeps the book from being boring. Yet it is important to note that the author is honest and fair enough to keep this book from degenerating into a one-sided polemic. Even when she disagrees with a practice she observes (such as female infanticide) she does more than present her own opinions: she also presents the opposing viewpoints and mitigating life circumstances that lead people to act as they do. Moreover, her disagreements are not made in a spirit of self-righteous condemnation but rather with a good deal of compassion. The reader is allowed to see the emotional and intellectual struggles the author goes through as she has her viewpoints challenged by what she sees and hears.

Having read about and traveled in India myself, I found this book to be enlightening. As I mentioned earler, it is a "good read", meaning that the book doesn't drag. Is it the "definitive" book about women in India? Of course not. Such a book doesn't exist. Moreoever, coming out as it did in 1990 (1991 for the paperback), it grows a little more dated each year. However, both as a valuable historical document and an anthropological tool for helping understand more of the Indian character, "May you be the Mother of a Hundred Sons" deserves a place alongside other books that are rightfully praised for their usefulness in throwing light on a fascinating country full of an immense diversity of peoples and practices.

I happened to read Bumiller's book after a gap of about 3 years and found it as interesting as when I read it first. I think her section on Nabaneeta Dev Sen remains the best. I don't think I am concerned too much about how 'true' it is to Indian life (which in any case is a subjective area) but I think Bumiller is one of few who writes with both affection and detachment about India. As an Indian woman, some of the things she writes about (e.g. the process of the arranged marriage) brought a jolt of realisation - being a part and parcel of Indian life they tend to remain unnoticed. All in all it was worth a second read.

Anuradha

Growing up in the US with an American father and an Indian mother, I have always sought to really understand the culture that my mother came from. Although my mother was a catholic and not a hindu, Elizabeth Bumiller's book has given me an indepth and mesmorizing look at the women of India - the true pillars of that country. Once you start reading, you can't put the book down. Bumiller does a wonderful job at describing the Indian culture in general. My husband and I are adopting from India and this book has given me a greater appreciation for the unknown mother of my future child. A must read book if you have any interest in India, foreign cultures or women's issues.

As a busy careerwoman, I usually devote what little time I have to read to fictional novels. With this book, I made an exception to my "rule" and I'm glad I did. It was interesting, thought-provoking and well-written. It read like a series of stories, while giving me insight into the culture and history of India. I was able to escape and learn at the same time, which is sometimes difficult with non-fiction. I would recommend it to men AND women alike...

This book is a collection of articles about various aspects of Indian women's lives. Bumiller lived and worked as a journalist in India for 3 years with her husband in the 1980s. She didn't intend to write about Indian women at the start of her stay, but found herself getting drawn into women's issues through her friends and activities. In the book, Bumiller describes and analyzes such topics as arranged marriage, bride burning, female infanticide, women in politics, women in Bollywood, women artists, housewives, and population control. Overall, I found Bumiller's descriptions quite accurate and interesting, but for my tastes, the range of topics seemed too broad. The book lacks the focus found in Bumiller's second book, "The Secrets of Mariko", which describes a year in the life of a Japanese housewife. Nevertheless, it provides a very readable introduction to Indian women's lives for Western readers.

I bought this book soon after I got married to my husband, who's Indian. It gave me insight to my mum-in-law, her life and the society she lives in. What makes her tick, what drives her behaviour, her thoughts, feelings and decisions. I haven't yet found a better book on Indian women, especially one that's as clear, thoughtful and readable as Ms Bumiller's. Her book on Japanese women is just as good.

Elizabeth Bumiller has written and excellent book describing the lives of a cross-section of Indian women. The book is a very easy read, due to her clear and concise writing style. The author has interviewed women from several different religions, castes, regions, and lifestyles. These interviews are supplemented with material from the Indian press and from Indian policymakers.

I enjoyed this book mainly because it is about the lives of Indian women seen through the eyes of a foreigner - ie a western woman. I felt I could relate to this book very well as a 'western' woman myself, albeit with roots in India. I would recommend this book for those who know little about Indian society .

Elisabeth Bumiller brings her reporter's curiousity and an open mind to a subject daunting in it vastness, and succeeds in painting a pointillist portrait of the women of India. She never pretends that she's doing exhaustive or academic work; she's simply following her nose to good stories. The result is an entertaining and informative book that spurred me to further reading about India and its women.