Elizabeth Rich Handford uses God's Word to present the reason for a wife's subjection to her husband. She shows how the husband and wife relationship is the foundation for a happy and godly home. And at the same time, she shows how a submissive wife is not an inferior partner.
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60 of 63 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
WARNING: Me? Obey Him? led to serious abuse & the disintegration of my family,
By Vyckie D. Garrison "NO LONGER QUIVERING" (Norfolk, NE United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Me? Obey Him?: The Obedient Wife and God's Way of Happiness and Blessing in the Home (Paperback)
Those fortunate enough to have never actually read "Me? Obey Him?" may be shocked and appalled by the teachings in support of "biblical patriarchy." This review is simply quotations of Handford's own words, followed by comments from my personal experience as a former submissive Christian woman. *God's Perfect Creation Required Order* Jesus, the Creator of Heaven and earth, submitted Himself to God the Father. He took His place in the chain of command. ... It is no shame, no dishonor, for a woman to be under authority, if the Lord Jesus -- very God Himself -- submitted to the authority of the Father. (p. 14) The submission of the Lord Jesus is our example. He submitted not just to the tender ministrations of the Father. He submitted to revilings and curses, persecution and suffering. He was our example, not just to obey a gentle and kind husband but a harsh and mean husband as well. You may find that your obedience to your husband and your obedience to God are all tied together. You may not want to obey your husband because you are in rebellion against God. (p. 51) By intimately linking Christ's willing subjection to God the Father with a woman's submission to her husband in "the chain of command," the teachings of patriarchy create such an intricate tangle of enmeshment that it's nearly impossible for an abused woman to extricate herself from the bondage of her husband's tyranny without also throwing off her spiritual bond with Christ. *Woman's Nature Requires Obedience* We've had the impression that women as a class are more spiritually minded than men, with sensibilities more refined, and purer thoughts. Scriptures say the opposite is true! Women are more often led into spiritual error than men. Perhaps it is caused by her intuitive, emotional thinking. Intuitive thinking is God's gift, not to be despised, but it needs the balance of a man's reason. I should add too, that a woman does not have to be led into error. That is the reason God commanded her not to usurp authority over the man, so she can be protected from false doctrine. (p. 17) Sexist generalizations are never useful in understanding human relationships. In reality, I am no less rational than my (ex)husband. He also is gifted with a strong intuition and emotional intelligence. Convinced as we were that I was more susceptible to Satanic deception, our family was deprived of my reasonable input in decision making. My intelligence was squelched, my intuition was distrusted and my feelings were denied. My husband developed an artificially inflated sense of his own powers of logic. I can't count how many times he said to me, "What you are saying sounds reasonable, but how do I know that Satan is not using you to deceive me?" I had no good defense. According to the Scriptures, we had every reason to believe that I was indeed being used to lead my husband astray. His authority and my obedience did not protect us from tragic deception which ripped apart our family. *What Do the Scriptures Say About a Wife's Obedience?* Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the Scriptures say a woman ought to obey her husband! ... [Note, these ellipses represent page after page of scriptural support given by Handford to bolster her argument that God commands wives to obey their husbands.] If you are intellectually honest, you will have to admit that it is impossible to find a single loophole, a single exception, an "if" or "unless." The Scriptures say, without qualification, to the openminded reader, that a woman ought to obey her husband. (pp. 24, 25) 1) She Is to Obey Regardless of His Spiritual Condition The wife who obeys her husband may win him by her meek and quiet spirit, her loving behavior. (p. 25) 2) She Need Not Fear Conflicting Authority There is no hint that a woman may have to choose between conflicting authority. ... If it is needed in order to fulfill both obligations, God will do a miracle to make it possible. ... It is safe to conclude that when God told a woman to obey her husband, He intended for her to be able to do it without risk of offending other authorities. (pp. 25, 28) 3) She Obeys Without Reference to Her Feelings About the Will of God The Scriptures say a woman must ignore her "feelings" about the will of God, and do what her husband says. She is to obey her husband as if he were God Himself. She can be as certain of God's will, when her husband speaks, as if God had spoken audibly from Heaven! (p. 28) When a concerned friend reported our family to Child Protective Services, my ex-husband lost custody of the children due to his abuse. The social worker told me that I was guilty of "failure to protect." The only thing that prevented me from having my parental rights terminated and my children placed in foster care was my willingness to submit to a full psychological evaluation, undergo individual and family counseling, and cooperate with random unannounced home visits by Social Services. My older children rightfully blame me for not protecting them against their father's abuse. Even though they know that I was influenced by books such as "Me? Obey Him?" to believe that it was God's will to submit to the abuse, my children cannot be fooled into thinking that I was not really responsible for their suffering. I have apologized for my neglect. Most of my children have forgiven me -- still, the damage is done and some things can't (and shouldn't) be forgotten. *What If a Husband Expressly Commands Something Explicitly Wrong?* When women ask me this question, I counter with two of my own: 1) "Have you been living in daily obedience to your husband as part of your wholehearted, loving submission to God?" (This is an essential part of the problem. If a woman has not been submissive, God has no responsibility for her situation and cannot be blamed if her husband requires something wrong.) 2) "Has your husband ever actually commanded you to do something wrong?" In the hundreds of times I have asked these questions, not once, if my memory is right, has a woman answered, "Yes, I am always obedient, and yet my husband has required me to break one of God's laws." Never! Why? Because, when a woman takes God at His word, submits to her husband without reservation, fears God and loves Him, then God takes upon Himself the responsibility to see that a woman does not have to sin! (pp. 37, 38) Many non-Christians can at least appreciate Jesus as a good moral teacher, but I have come to think of my 25+ year walk with God as the perfect example of a codependent relationship. To me, having "the mind of Christ" means thinking like a battered woman: It's really all my fault that He treats me so poorly. If only I were a better person, He wouldn't have to make me suffer. He only does it when I disobey -- to test my love for Him or to teach me a much-needed lesson. I don't deserve His love. I am so thankful that He puts up with me! Without Him, I am nothing. Even if a woman can honestly claim to have been perfectly submissive, if her husband nevertheless commands her to do wrong, God still gets off the hook. But, "Me? Obey Him?" gives the godly woman a promise so that she is not without hope: perhaps the Lord will kill her evil husband!! A man always has the choice of saying yes or no to God. He can reject the pleadings of the Spirit, the pleas of his loving wife. If he does, and he goes on his wicked way, then I have seen God reach down and take that man's life, rather than make his wife choose between two wrongs. (p. 40) The Lord did not rescue us from abuse by killing my husband -- even though, I'm embarrassed and ashamed now to say, I did pray He would do so after reading this passage in Handford's book. No -- it was up to me to put a stop to the abuse. My only regret in seeking divorce is that I didn't do it sooner. *Don't I Have Any Rights?* Can you find a Kleenex somewhere and mop up the tears, just for a minute, long enough to talk to me about what your rights really are? You don't have any rights, no rights at all. You lost them on the day you rebelled against God. You lost them, not because you are a woman, but because you are a sinner, just as I am. p. 49) Handford goes on to argue that, having been purchased by Christ's blood, we become His bondservants (slaves) who ought to be glad to do anything He tells us to do. This teaching that I was a slave to Christ translated into me also being a slave to my husband. I had no right to expect decent treatment for myself and our children. My husband owned me and was perfectly within his rights to demand that I comply with his every whim. If his desires seemed selfish, petty, or abusive, who was I to protest? If I would have rebelled against his wishes, then I would be guilty of witchcraft (1 Samuel 15:23) and subject to demonic control. I was told that either God was in control of my life (in the guise of my husband), or else Satan was in control of my life. The only power I had was to choose which one would control me. *You Have the Freedom From the Consequences of Decisions* When you give back to your husband the responsibility for the direction of the home and the making of the decisions, you also give him the responsibility for the consequences of his decisions. ... Fortunately, that's the way a man likes it. God made a man to be aggressive, to respond to challenge, to glory in his manhood, to rejoice in draining his strength, to risk great hazards for the one he loves. It is his very aggressiveness that a woman sometimes finds frightening, simply... Read more ›
49 of 58 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
WARNING!!!,
This review is from: Me? Obey Him?: The Obedient Wife and God's Way of Happiness and Blessing in the Home (Paperback)
This book was given to me as a gift. I read it with my husband. I will be submitting to his authority. He commanded me to THROW THE BOOK AWAY. It is unsound and the author has twisted scripture.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Obey God Rather Than Man,
By
This review is from: Me? Obey Him?: The Obedient Wife and God's Way of Happiness and Blessing in the Home (Paperback)
I would not recommend this book, because the teaching on the TOTAL submission to the point of sin is wrong. This book turns page 16 & 17 Adams' sin into a good deed. This was not a good deed, but a sin of Gods law. Disobedience to God for the sake of reaching someone else is wrong. The book on page 20 & 22 implies, the husband can save the wifes body. "For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body." Jesus is our savior In the book page 31 suggests obeying the Husband rather than God.Here are a couple of websites for further review... [...] Start on page 8, ...[...] AND [...] I would not recommend this book as it will confuse you, about the submission God is talking about.
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