Dellasega expands on her previous study of relationship aggression in adolescent females (Girl Wars) in this exploration of how such toxic behavior may continue on into adulthood. Addressed primarily to victims (Afraid to Bees) of aggression by other women in the workplace, family, church, school and even in feminist organizations, the author also advises the aggressors (Queen Bees) and those who enable them (Middle Bees). Many dramatic anecdotes describe harrowing wounds inflicted by aggressive female supervisors; devious behavior by competitive colleagues; and mothers-in-law who criticize and belittle their sons' wives. Dellasega provides strategies for dealing with bullies and cautions Middle Bees that their role will bring them guilt and anxiety. Queen Bees, she warns, will lose self-esteem and all possibility of satisfying connections with women. To overcome all three self-defeating patterns, the author recommends positive confrontation, working on self-awareness and reaching out to other women for more satisfying relationships. But Dellasega's simplistic categorizing of women into three classes and her assumption that all forms of relationship aggression fit into the same mold help make this a minor addition to the literature on female aggression. (Oct. 3)
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At one time or another, almost every woman has been involved in bullying. Whether her role was that of victim, aggressor, or bystander, the pain of relational aggression (female bullying) lasts long after the incident has passed. For those who get stuck in the mean girl role, the emotional warfare of high school can continue. As adults, these women hone their skills in verbal sabotage and behavioral put-downs. From the PTA clique to the carpool, from the gym to the boardroom, every woman knows someone who is suffering from the devastating dynamic of relational aggression.
In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega explores why women are often their own worst enemies, offering practical advice for a variety of situations. She introduces you to the "bees" of grade school who, as adults, are still involved in the same harmful dynamic: the Queen Bee, a bully who buzzes from place to place undermining and manipulating others; the Middle Bee, a go-between who spreads gossip or stands by as others do so; and the Afraid-to-Bee who retreats into passivity and is a target for aggression.
Drawing upon extensive research and interviews, Dellasega shares stories from women who have encountered these bees as well as the knowledge of experts who have helped women overcome the negative effects of aggression. You'll hear how adult women can be just as competitive and callous as their younger counterparts, using backstabbing, betrayal, harassment, misrepresentation, and exclusion to wound others.
You'll also discover:
Dellasega outlines how women can change their behavior successfully by shifting away from aggression and embracing a spirit of cooperation in interactions with others. Even if bee-type behaviors have plagued you since adolescence, Mean Girls Grown Up will help you let go of aggression or passivity, move on, and create relationships that are healthier and happier for you and the women around you.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title. See all Editorial Reviews
I got a lot out of this book. It helped me understand the behavior of some of the women in life. There is a bit of touchy-feely advice later on in the book that I skimmed through... Read morePublished 5 months ago by MaryC
Describes all of the workplace-disrupting women you ever knew, and offers only simplistic non-solutions for disarming their bad-behavior bombs. A disappointing book.Published 11 months ago by ruralta
I followed most of the techniques listed in the book just by instinct in dealing with my Queen Bee at work. Read morePublished 13 months ago by AmazonPurchases
Good read for anyone dealing with adult children probably still living in their parents basement. Still bullies at 45 c'mon get real and grow up. Read morePublished 14 months ago by JGLoo
The book is spot on. Discussed all the important issues surrounding the topic. I highly recommend this book to all that want to better understand the problem.Published 18 months ago by Debra Gilchrist
Having read 4 other books on the topic of woman's abuse of women, all ordered from Amazon, I have to say that this one lends yet more information on the topic. Read morePublished 21 months ago by Ralph
I didn't particularly care for the format of the book--mostly a compilation of stories by women who have suffered from relational aggression. Read morePublished on May 6, 2013 by Stephanie