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Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Backstab, Betray, and Trash-Talk Each Other and How to Heal [Paperback]

Dr. Erika Holiday , Dr. Joan Rosenberg
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

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Book Description

June 3, 2009
Why can so many women form wonderfully close connections with each other while some intentionally hurt other women? Why are girls so mean to other girls? What motivates them to betray, backstab, trash-talk, and humiliate one another? Why does this same hurtful behavior continue between women well into adulthood? What can women do to have closer and more authentic connections with one another? Mean Girls, Meaner Women, written by Dr. Erika Holiday and Dr. Joan I. Rosenberg, two well-known psychologists long involved in women's issues, provide answers about this baffling behavior. They take a look at hurtful behavior between women from the perspective of both the target and the victim. The authors use groundbreaking brain research to explain why being the target of a woman's hurtful behavior and being socially excluded can be so excruciatingly painful to women. Holiday and Rosenberg offer compelling information for understanding the hidden dynamics (psychological, biological, social and media influences) that lead women to hurt or oppress women and that comprimise authentic female relationships. Mean Girls, Meaner Women is a riveting read for females interested in understanding women's relationships, building closer and more collaborative bonds with each other, and living authentically. Questions designed to help girls and women increase self awareness and add strength and depth to their relationships with each other are found throughout the book. Readers will also discover: how the female brain is wired to be more relatinal and suffer more hurt; the emotional cost of countless "no-win" situations including the "Original Sin of Being Female", the "Paradox of the Healthy Adult", and "Beauty and the Bind"; the role angry and competitive feelings between women has on authentic and deep connections; how being "different" could make you the target of hurtful behavior; how the media supports and reinforces hostile behavior through the "Money Shot"; behavior that catches the attention of the "Gender Police"; what women can learn from men about communicating with each other; and critical steps for healing and creating closer connections with women.

Frequently Bought Together

Mean Girls, Meaner Women: Understanding Why Women Backstab, Betray, and Trash-Talk Each Other and How to Heal + Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees + In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women:  Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop
Price for all three: $45.59

Buy the selected items together


Product Details

  • Paperback: 190 pages
  • Publisher: Orchid Press (June 3, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0981972608
  • ISBN-13: 978-0981972602
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,460 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Joan Rosenberg, creator of The Rosenberg Method for Emotional Mastery and Emotional Pilates®, is a highly regarded expert psychologist and master clinician. As a cutting edge psychologist who is known as an innovative thinker, trainer and speaker, Joan has shared her life-changing ideas and models for emotional mastery and personal growth in professional and educational seminars (e.g. Brendon Burchard's High Performance Academy, John Assaraf's Brainathon and Master Your Mindset Series, Author101 University), psychotherapy sessions and graduate psychology teaching (currently at Pepperdine University). She is a featured expert in the critically acclaimed documentary film 'I Am' and 'The Hidden Epidemic' and she has been seen on CNN's American Morning show, OWN, and PBS stations nationally, along with other TV and radio media appearances. She serves on John Assaraf's scientific advisory board, has one patent in performance skill development, is a published author (Mean Girls, Meaner Women) and is published in professional books and psychology journals.

Customer Reviews

The book is insightful, inspiring and full of valuable content and advice. Mary Kayan  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
This book is absolutely a must-read for every woman of all ages! Rebecca B.  |  4 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
23 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ FOR EVERY WOMAN OF ALL AGES! November 29, 2009
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is absolutely a must-read for every woman of all ages! This book shed so much light on why women degrade, belittle, compete with and betray each other. It was an eye opening experience for me. The book, at first glance, seems to be a manual on how to deal with other women's devious tactics, but that is not the point of the book at all. Through stories and careful dissection of behaviors, interwoven with societal pressures/contributors, the authors detail what we are doing to ourselves (women vs. women) and how it is perpetuated by societal agendas/customs. This book did more to explain the issues between women than any other book I have ever read. I cannot stress enough how important this book is for EVERY woman to read for herself and to read to her daughter, her cousin, her mother, her sister, her friends...

This book is not about how to survive a demon woman or a group of them, this book is about recognizing what we are doing to each other and why and how to break the cycle. I plan on buying several copies for Christmas gifts in an effort to spread the word to all of the fabulous women in my life (sisters, cousin, friends...) about how we can finally end the hurtful competitiveness and act of maliciousness towards each other (women vs. women).

We finally have no excuse not to recognize how our behavior affects other women...some of the findings are absolutely shocking and quite saddening...but there is hope and we don't have to continue putting on a show for the sake of seeming like the best, the sexiest, the whatever superlative you want to insert here...

Rebecca
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic! March 4, 2010
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Thank God somebody finally wrote an honest book about this. I've suffered terribly at the hands of other women all my life but felt guilty about talking about it because I was a Feminist. I didn't know how to conceptualize what had happened to me and secretly hated other women. Reading it was incredibly healing and I'd recommend it to anyone, woman or man, Feminist or not. Our society sets women up as "purity symbols" and discourages them from acting in ways that tarnish their image. This forces women to manipulate and hide their true feelings. I believe the only way forward for people trying to change the world is to deal honestly with human nature, female and male. The truth about what we end up doing to each other in this society is the first step toward change.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Lightweight & superficial with advice-column feel December 17, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
The authors sounded like they had good professional credentials but this was definitely a lightweight work. It was superficial, although it did contain some useful terms and references to other people's work, that you could presumably look up to get a more informative analysis. If you were doubting that adult mean girl bullying exists, this book would no doubt be a revelation. If you already know, then this book is shallow survey full of thumbnail sketches, vignettes and only scattered professional terminology here and there. The book had a definite advice-column feel. Psychology for girly-girl airheads by girly-girl airheads?

Although they describe the phenomenon adequately, there is a lack of professional depth to the subject and something of a girlfriend chat feel. The result is muddled, shallow and doesn't come together.

Honestly, what comes across is that the author(s) has (have) been mean girl bulled and wrote a book to try to work through feelings, as a form of self therapy.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING FOR ALL YOUNG GIRLS
An excellent and well written/explained read of a difficult
and oft times unresolved question
that afflicts a majority of girls and women
who are 'left out',... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Carolyn Elder
3.0 out of 5 stars Somewhat disappointing to this reviewer...
I ordered this book after reading rave reviews of it on Amazon.com. I thought it would be a rather academic book written in an objective tone and summarizing formal research by the... Read more
Published 5 months ago by WiseWoman
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Info on an Important Topic
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and bought this book to assist me with understanding why women oppress one another. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Karen P.
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
Erika , this book is amazing right to the point on everything .. Best Regards, Varant Majarian [...] author for As a young age
Published 19 months ago by varant majarian
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening
Mean Girls, Meaner Women was such a useful and enlightening read. After experiencing first hand the pain of watching my child go through middle school hurts, this book gave me the... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Gretchen Breuner
5.0 out of 5 stars Mean Girls, Meaner Women
This book should be required reading for adolescent girls with the guidance of their mothers or an adult mentor, as well as by women dealing with difficulties with their adult... Read more
Published on January 12, 2011 by Pat G.
5.0 out of 5 stars AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ!
This book is an absolute eye-opener! I wasn't sure what to expect at first, but couldn't put the book down as soon as I started! Read more
Published on October 13, 2010 by Mary Kayan
3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
I bought this book because I was looking for a book for my bookclub. The book itself is a good book on a good topic. Read more
Published on August 4, 2010 by G. Key
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!
It really is a MUST READ for girls and women of all ages!

As a consultant, educator, and trainer in areas involving diversity, multicultural issues and oppression, this... Read more
Published on March 4, 2010 by J.S.
1.0 out of 5 stars Not very useful information
Did not find book to have much content. After reading I did not feel as if I had learned much.
Published on January 31, 2010 by C. Burch
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