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Ten Tips for Winning with Mean Girls at Work
Have you encountered a mean girl at work? A mean girl could be someone who seems jealous of your accomplishments, a woman who excludes you from important meetings, a female colleague who puts you down in public, or just someone whose poor work habits constantly get you into trouble. What ever her behavior is, it sets you off – leaving you feeling upset and unable to be your best professional self. Dealing with another woman’s cold or unkind behavior can be challenging, but you don’t have to be held hostage by it. Here are ten tips for WINNING with any mean girl at work:
1. Don’t take her bait – When a mean girl attacks, she’s looking for a reaction from you. If she attacks you in a meeting, she’ll want to see you angry or crying or otherwise upset. Getting a reaction from you gratifies the mean side of her.
2. Don’t believe that what she says is true – This rule is especially important when dealing with a mean girl who likes to gossip and spread rumors. If she comes to you with gossip, don’t get drawn in.
3. Don’t engage in negative speak about her –Why? Because you’re fueling the power struggle between the two of you. And you may end up looking like the pettier person.
4. Be friendly without being friends –If you discover that one of your colleagues acts in ways you don’t like, you don’t have to shut her out. Rather, you can maintain a cordial relationship with her where you only discuss the work at hand.
5. Aim for professional behavior at all times – We call this taking the High Road. Acting professional towards all women in your workplace – regardless of how you feel about them – is a key component of “winning” with mean girls.
6. Keep communication short and to the point –Aim for short, focused interactions with this woman where you only discuss essential work-related topics. Think, ‘Proper inter-office communication – no more, no less.”
7. Find a safe person to confide in – It’s best to find a confidante outside of the office setting who can hear your story and offer solid advice.
8. Don’t roll your eyes when she speaks –Rolling your eyes conveys impatience and irritation with what the other woman is saying. Check yourself to make sure you don’t do that or engage in other forms of non-verbal attacking.
9. Don’t avoid her – In an attempt to limit your exposure to the mean girl’s barbs, you may want to hide whenever you see her or find ways to minimize any contact with her. But if you avoid her, she’ll know that you fear her – and that puts you in a more vulnerable position.
10. Don’t take anything she says or does personally – this is the ultimate lesson when dealing with a mean girl. Whatever she’s doing, it’s not about you – even though her taunts have your name on them. Mean girls generally have poor self-esteem and are easily threatened. You aren’t the first person she’s mean to, and you won’t be the last.
Finally!!!! Somebody realizes that there IS such a thing as MEAN GIRLS! I'm not just making it up! The same mean girls that sabotaged you in gradeschool inhabit the workplace. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Sharon B.
Please get a copy for yourself and everyone on your Christmas list! A real life safer and JOB saver! Keep mine at work and another in night stand... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Sandra Howland
This book contains some very good advice. However, I take strong exception to categorizing women who in the author's view "flaunt their social status" as mean girls. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Lostinbooks
Practical advice and suggestions for every girl at work who works with other girls. Quick, targeted read so you can find the help you need right away.Published 2 months ago by Flygirl
The title threw me off a little. But it was much better than I expected and better than any of the recent books I have read on female work relationships, It was funny,readable. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Kayae
Shipped quickly and is a good quality book, with different scenarios and how to handle it professionally. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Christine A.
Very repetitive. All her advices were based on the old "kill them with kindness" and "turn the other cheek" saying. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Mars
My only regret is buying the Kindle version, because I would like the hard copy to be sitting on my desk. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Angela K.
The advice seems to be suck it up, that's how they are, deal with it privately and exercise.
Some of the "mean" stuff is actually illegal. No more games. Read more