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Mean Moms Rule: Why Doing the Hard Stuff Now Creates Good Kids Later Paperback – April 1, 2012


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks (April 1, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1402264143
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402264146
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #250,765 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

""Mean" moms make kids learn to do things for themselves – from making breakfast to finding inner peace. They are so mean, in fact, that they refuse to treat their kids like darling little dolts. I'm hoping I'm a little meaner myself after reading this book." - Lenore Skenazy, founder of the book and blog Free-Range Kids.

"What ever happened to raising your kids to leave you someday? Well, the 'everybody wins,' 'my kids are my friends,' perfect parenting culture got in the way. Luckily, Denise Schipani shares her secret to being a "Mean Mom," and why it's better for your kids – and for you – in the long run." - Jen Singer, author "You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either)

"It's a way of life that too few parents are willing to impose these days, with negative consequences for both parents  ("Hang onto yourself," Schipani advises. "You may need that person later") and children alike. But she feels the benefits are well worth it. "I am going to take these two little boys I've created and turn them into good men. If it kills me."" - mommytries.com

""Mean Moms Rule" is a great investment for all parents. She reminds me that being a firm and financially sane parent will help my little guy grow up to be a steady, self-disciplined young man." - dailyworth.com

"Mean Moms Rule is Denise's no-nonsense, reassuring, funny, and above all empowering take on parenting. She's not telling you her way is the only way, or that it's scientifically proven that xyz will result in abc. She's not trying to convince you that there's a right way to parent. She's just calling it like she sees it." - debbiekoenig.com

"Mean Moms Rule is a good reminder that we can be reasonable in our parenting." - aspiritedmind.com

"Denise Schipani has written an amazing book that every parent should own. I'm so proud to know that I am a MEAN MOM!" - theadventuresofsupermom.com

"Finally, a book that enforces good old fashion discipline, hard work and the regular use of the taboo word "NO"." - clutterbug.me

"Wow, I was feeling kind of guilty for having to constantly say no, but after reading a few of the pages my confidence has gone up and I will continue to be a proud mean mom." - everydaysimpleummi.blogspot.com

"If nothing else, you'll feel validated in knowing you're not the only one turning down requests for candy before dinner, inappropriate TV shows and a toy at every store - they'll thank you for it later." - urbanbaby.com

"After reading "MEAN MOMS RULE: Why going the hard stuff now cretes good kids later!" by Denise Schipani.  I realized that among many other things, being the mom that feels natural to me, and parenting the same way, is really good for my children.  " - woodland.macaronikid.com

"Schipani encourages moms to do the right thing – always. Kids don't need a perfect mom. Kids don't need a slacker mom. They need a mean mom who loves them too much to go soft now." - topnewstoday.org

"In a Nutshell: A modern-day parenting bible, Mean Moms Rule proves that you don't have to be a pushover to be a decent parent. " - talkingwalnut.com

" In the Hot-Off-the-Presses book, Mean Moms Rule, Denise Schipani shares her strategies on parenting her two boys the "mean" way. She's not really "mean," though kids might say so. She's just decided to stick to her guns and be the parent." - thetaleofbabyriser.blogspot.com

"I found that I really agreed with much of what Schipani writes about, and they are all things I learned from my own mom." - vtmommies.com

"If you're a reader of mommy blogs you might like Denise's edgy, witty writing – for others, her strong opinions may be a little off-putting. While she undoubtedly loves her kids, she's never one to coddle or let them believe that the world owes them something. She believes in hard work, discipline and that the parent should always be in the driver's seat." - surebaby.com

"" - nola.com

"The basic lesson from this book is that it is within our power to make our kids self-sufficient, motivated by their own achievements (and not external recognition), and ready to take on the world. Denise Schipani provides inspiration in Mean Moms Rule." - goodreads.com

"If you have time I would either download this book (iPad, Nook, Kindle, heck even phone!) and read it!! Take it and use it as a daily manual!" - morethanjustmommy.com

"Mean Moms Rule shows parents how to master both sides of parenting and prepare their kids for the world." - marvelous-girl.com

""loaded with the kind of common-sense parenting I was raised with. In fact, I think my own mom would love this book."" - thestir.com

""This firm yet playful look at the merits of tough-love parenting explains why doing the hard stuff now, like saying no when you need to, results in happy kids later."" - Scholastic Parent & Child

About the Author

Denise Schipani has 20 years experience in magazines, where she worked at Child, American Baby, Bridal Guide, and All Woman. She freelances for these as well as Parents, Parenting, Family Circle, Redbook, Real Simple, Woman's Day, Fitness. She is the founder of www.confessionsofameanmommy.com.

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Customer Reviews

In my own professional and parenting opinion - that's just good common sense.
tammyinCT
Mean Moms Rule: Why doing the hard stuff now creates good kids later by Denise Schipani is one of the best parenting books to have on your shelf.
Liza Weidle
I realized that among many other things, being the mom that feels natural to me, and parenting the same way, is really good for my children.
kittykatt

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

80 of 91 people found the following review helpful By CrimsonGirl VINE VOICE on August 6, 2012
Format: Paperback
"Mean Moms Rule" could've easily been a 5 star review for me except for most of chapter 2 and parts of chapter 1. Ms. Schipani takes a basically sound premise (that a woman should retain some interests outside of motherhood) and uses it to launch into a tedious rant against stay-at-home-motherhood. Her disdain for SAHM's literally drips off the page in the most arrogant way. If a woman decides to shelve her career after she has kids, it's a product of an "overinflated sense of importance" and represents "parental self-absorption". SAHM's according to Ms. Schipani are unkempt doormats with "no life other than one of service to [their kids]" and whose wishy-washiness cause them to lose their children's respect.

Ms. Schipani projects her own feelings of being "out of her mind with boredom" at the life of a SAHM onto other women and cannot possibly believe that we SAHM's actually *DO* indeed "love spending the bulk of our days with sticky-fingered folks who don't have all that expansive a vocabulary". I always knew that I wanted to be a SAHM someday and back when I was in my late teens & early 20's I worked as a nanny because I loved spending time doing what Ms. Schipani considers "mind-numbing aspects of raising little ones such as glitter crafts, Play-Doh, or Candy Land".

Do all women have the temperament to be full-time SAHM's? Of course not. There is nothing wrong with a woman who finds her paid employment fulfilling continuing to pursue her career full-time after having a child. Certainly I'm glad our family's pediatrician decided to return to her practice and so on. Feminism was supposed to be about empowering women to decide for themselves and each of us should support those moms who have made different choices than we have. I just wish that Ms.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Mom of 2 on May 15, 2012
Format: Paperback
I just finished this book and it made me feel awesome about the choices I've made over the years about raising my children. Schipani writes a manifesto that is not in-your-face but is rather a light and enjoyable read that will truly get you thinking about how you can raise your children to be the kind of adults we all want to populate our Earth.

From the back cover:

Mean Moms say NO.
Mean Moms TRUST THEMSELVES.
Mean Moms DON'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING.
Mean Moms TEACH kids the life skills they need to know.
Mean Moms SLOW IT DOWN.
Mean Moms FAIL THEIR KIDS a little bit every day.

This is posted on my refrigerator and it reminds me that I can be a "mean mom" and still love my children immensely.
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12 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Mama23 on May 13, 2012
Format: Paperback
Awesome book! Lighthearted but gets the point across. I wish I had this book nine years ago when I had our first of three sons. In the past year we realized that our kids were running the show and our oldest (now nine) had NO responsibilities. We did a lot of whatever was easiest (just doing the dishes ourselves) rather than giving our boys the skills they needed. We've slowly been turning this tide around and after a year of hard work the benefits are really starting to show. My son might complain about having to do his laundry, but he is also very proud of the fact that he knows how to run the washing machine or make his own lunch. This book came along at just the right time to give me an extra boost. Thanks so much!!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By JenAless on April 26, 2012
Format: Paperback
I borrowed this book from a friend before she even got the chance to read it.
I swear that this book was written for me! I have been waiting for instructions and reasons on why taking the path of least resistance when parenting is seldomly the right path to take. We all know Its hard to resist giving in, and to delay instant gratification but Denise gives concrete reasons and stories to get you moving in the right direction.
I wasn't born a mean mom. I didn't have a mean mom growing up but I think I would be better equipped for day to day challenges as a parent if I had had one. So, I am going to aspire to be a mean mom for my kids. Thanks Denise!
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By T on June 13, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Hands down the best book I own! I feel validated. This book should be given to all women right after the doctor says, "you're pregnant!" I agree with the author when she writes, "doing the hard stuff now creates good kids later" but it's only harder to those parents who take the easy way out by giving in to their kids. I also believe the key to raising good kids is making them independent. To follow her advice you have to be confident, don't explain or justify your decisions and don't be swayed by other parents. Go for it! She's spot on.
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on April 15, 2013
Format: Paperback
The author had great potential when writing this book. The premise was there, her intentions were good, but it fell short of what it could have been in my opinion. I'll revisit some points made in previous reviews that I feel need to be reiterated.
First of all, yes, the author clearly has a problem with mothers who stay at home with their kids. If you feel that way as well, then this book is for you, and also here's a chill pill, take one and learn to accept that other people have different ways of doing things. Another point made in an earlier review is that her thoughts are scattered and not at all linear, which is fine if you, like me, think that way. If you don't, then your brain will fry from the maze that this book presents.
My biggest issue with this book, I think, stems from the fact that this book reads well and presents of a face of a tough but fair mom who takes pride in the fact that she is raising responsible adults that will contribute greatly to society. What's wrong with this? Nothing at all. However, if you read this book from the perspective of a writer, it starts to feel as if the author just has deeply unresolved issues from her own childhood and is striving constantly to win the approval of her parents (like that time she wrote a book about how great of a person she became because of how well her parents raised her with the ideals of generations-gone-by).
This book is fun and flirts with the idea of maybe presenting some sort of parenting thesis, but ultimately does not deliver. If you're a writer or enjoy symbolism, metaphor and thematic writing, then you'll be rolling your eyes the entire way through as you put yourself in the shoes of the writer, desperately itching for that long expected pat on the back from daddy.
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