Customer Reviews

The Meaning of Matthew: My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed

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... to a world known icon, Judy Shepard has become synonymous with words like activist, equal rights, and legacy. There are many of us who idolize this woman, and even, dare I say, put her on a pedestal for her endless work in this area. However, the Judy Shepard in her new book, "The Meaning of Matthew" My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed", is a simple mother, telling the wonderful story of her son's life, and the journeyhis death set her on afterwards.

One of the marvelous surprises in this book of surprises is Judy's humbleness and straightforwardness. Coming from the west, growing up in Wyoming herself, Judy has an understanding of the land and the people there that permeates this wonderful book. She met and married her husband Dennis, and then proceeded to have Matthew, which turned out to be a complicated birth and early few weeks of life. Throughout this book, Judy shares little stories and insights into Matthew's character that truly humanize this now civil rights icon. This is a mother, writing about her son, with love.

But it's honest. Judy doesn't hold back, when recounting her first suspicions about her son's homosexuality, when recounting some of his faults and foibles, and her own doubts as a mother. Somehow, throughout the book, she manages to maintain her composure, even when getting to the fateful, horrible nights and lingering days while Matthew barely clung to life. Read those chapters with Kleenex nearby. Even the hardest hearted of us will be fighting back tears.

However, I must say, I don't feel for a second that Judy wants us to feel sorry for her, or slip into a maudlin remembrance of her son. I truly believe, as the book wraps up for us, that she is ultimately inspiring us to action. This book serves as a clarion call for those who wish for others to do the difficult work of equal rights to wake up and get involved; even in little ways, the littlest act can and does make a difference.

From humble beginnings as a wife and mother, to world known activist, you leave the book admiring her and her family for the work they've done to make this world as better place for everyone. But in reality, this marvelous read is a mother's memories of her son, and this book serves as a monument to this boy, whom the country never met, but now knows well.

Thank you Judy.

What an incredible (true) story about all of us in the U.S.A. and around the world, of a beautiful (inwardly and outwardly) young AMERICAN man, and his most remarkable mother! One of the most inspiring books I have ever read. If Congress does not again get around to putting into law The Matthew Sheppard Hate Crimes Bill, then we remain, as a country, deeply ashamed, as hatred still trumps love and acceptance of ALL Americans.

"The Meaning of Matthew" by Judy Shepard sheds light on the life of Matt, killed in Laramie, Wyoming, murdered by two men for no other reason than a botched robbery ($20.00) and a gay victim.

Shepard, the mother of Matt, strives throughout the book to keep her emotions in check, to tell the story of Matt before his murder, the son she loved. Matt was funny, kind, and open to the wonders of the world. Matt became depressed, angry, alcoholic, and confused as he encountered a world that did not accept him as a gay man.

The murder and subsequent trial sparked protests against hate crimes. Yet there were also those who defamed the victim, using his funeral as a place to spew their messages of hate, that Matt would rot in hell, that Matt was the devil's spawn. The "Reverend" Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church used the funeral and the trial to promote their hate-mongering, leaving the grieving family in more pain.

Judy Shepard has become a spokesperson for the LGBT community. This book will help to enlighten those who wish to learn more about how to bring civility into a dark world. I would have liked to feel more connected to the writer, but I understand her need to control her emotions, to keep a grip over the narrative, because how else can a parent move on when a child has been tortured and murdered?

"The Laramie Project" is also the story of Matt, with a far deeper emotional impact. I recommend Shepard's book for the facts and the understanding of a family under assault by the press and those who feel they have a duty to tell others how to live.

He was very small, looked like he was 13 or 14, and when 18 year old Aaron Kreifels saw his body propped up against a fence, his mountain bike skidded across the road for it looked like a scarecrow, a "Halloween guy," Kreifels remembered. A tiny body, but soaked in blood, most of it under his head. By this time Matthew Shepard had been hung on that fence for nearly eighteen hours, his lungs gradually pooling with blood. How any mother could cope with the Laramie police findings I don't know, but it was up to Judy Shepard to take it all in without fainting, and she has written a book to try to find the meaning of Matthew--the meaning of his death, but also the meaning of his life, how did this all come to happen.

It is a disturbing and chilling account, but it's human. We come to wonder about the killers and their girlfriends and their families, and how drugs and poverty have chipped away at their moral sense. One of the killers robbed a Keuntucky Fried Chicken of $2,500.00 (and "some desserts," adds Mrs. Shepard) and hid away in Florida to avoid the heat, then sneaked back when he thought it would be OK. Judy Shepard isn't what you'd call a natural writer, but she has given us something of a different order, the thoughts and feelings of a person devastated, and on top of it a person strong enough to pick up the pieces and do something that will mean something.

There's always a through-line of something resembling guilt giving her narrative an edge of real feeling and conflicting pressures. The book opens up that way, herself living with her husband in the Middle East--so far away from Laramie that it takes her days to get back to her son's bedside. There was the puzzling and horrifying earlier incident when Matt was assaulted by several men in North Africa--again she asks herself, where was she? Matt was complicated, too, and like a bird he couldn't be contained by parental worry. He had to do what he wanted to do, and he had to go where he wanted to go. In that one way, he was just like his mother.

I wish to commend Judy Shephard very highly for her courage and strength to keep the memory of Matthew Shephard alive. To talk and write about him is the best way to make sure he is never forgotten or lost in the ongoing shuffle of daily tragedies. While an undergraduate at Brooklyn College, I was made aware of Matthew because the college was having a play about his tragic death.
I wrote two papers about him, his life, his senseless death, the need for all people to be accepted for who they are and not what someone else wants them to be.
i am a teacher of poetry now, at Brooklyn College. I will recommend this book to my students.
I will be proud to do so.
irene brodsky
Teacher of Poetry and
Author of Poetry Unplugged (Outskirts Press)

A factual account of Matthew Shepard's life and murder, his mother Judy fills in many blanks and clarifies common misunderstandings about Matt's life, death, and the trial of his murderers. Like Beth Loffreda's poetic Losing Matt Shepard, this is a quiet story whose power builds with page after page of factual detail while avoiding the pitfall of attributing some greater meaning. Though Judy Shepard has worked for a decade to make something good out of a terrible tragedy, ultimately we are faced with the inevitable fact that there was no 'sense' in Matt's senseless death. Shepard sidesteps any attempt to make her son's brutal murder meaningful, despite the misleading title of this memoir. Ultimately the meaning of Matt's death is what we do after it; not why it happened in the first place--something we are unlikely to ever fully know. Highly recommended.

What a truly powerful book. I recommend this to everyone to read. I learned a lot of things I never knew or heard about this tragic event. It was really eye opening, and I am thinking about buying another copy to give to my mother to read. Mrs. Shepard provides a really objective view to the events and tells Matthew's story from her eyes.

I first heard about Matthew Shepard when a certain congresswomen said this case was just a hoax. I then ordered this book. This book should be required reading for all High School students and especially a certain congresswomen. Judy tells it all like it was and is still. The agony she and the family went through is all here. Her story even brought tears to me. This murder was so senseless and it is all here, the laughter, the tears, the joy and the sadness. Thanks Judy for opening my eyes.

There is only one person who could write the definitive book about Matthew Shepard...his life and his death...and that person is his mother, Judy. Most of us know the outer details of Matt's end, but Judy exposes the color of her son's life...the brilliant hues of his personality and his great warmth as a young man on the verge of becoming an adult. I think many of us have been waiting for this book for a long time.

What strikes me most about Judy Shepard is that her account is not simply her own. This is a book about her family. She relates the ups and downs of emotions she shared with her husband Dennis about Matt not only through his death, but as importantly, through his life. It's a narrative about caring and protecting her younger son, Logan, as he struggled with the loss of his older brother. Indeed, one of the most powerful parts of the book is Dennis's address to the courtroom. If that doesn't make you cry, nothing will.

Judy does not suffer fools gladly...in this case, the Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, whose group demonstrates the antithesis of love, or the media at large, who were and are much more interested in the drama of a story than in caring about the Shepard family. Judy Shepard may have some doubts about her own strengths from time to time but her instincts are powerfully correct.

"The Meaning of Matthew" rekindled my interest in Matthew Shepard, but now I know more about him, personally, than I ever did. I thank Judy for this evenly-presented tribute to Matt. We're all the better for his life and for her support.

This review may seem redundant, since I note that there are already over forty highly complimentary reviews. However, perhaps it is worthwhile to revisit a story that should not be forgotten or allowed to slip into the background, especially now that AT LAST Hate Crimes legislation has finally been passed.

I also ordered from Amazon the two movies, "The Matthew Shepard Story" and "The Laramie Project". I am profoundly grateful that the book arrived first, so I was able to get the full, complete story, as well as Judy's excellent commentary on the film presentations, before I viewed them.

Although I've been actively involved in the GLBT community since 1978, and was of course well aware of the murder of Matt Shepard when it happened, I will admit that I really didn't follow the media coverage of subsequent events. Therefore I was delighted to be able to visit it through Judy Shepard's extremely well-done memoir. It spoke to me with special poignancy because I also have lost a son. Although he was not a victim of a hate crime, his death due to an alcohol-related car crash was very untimely indeed. While I didn't have to deal with all the media hassles and court proceedings (Steve's wreck was a single vehicle crash, and he was the only victim), I understand at a very deep level much of what she experienced. I know what it cost her to share some of her feelings, and am therefore deeply grateful that she did so.

I believe this book is a vital and valuable addition to the ongoing body of truth that we must build up if we are ever to achieve the level of awareness that will indeed prevent crimes like Matt's murder and all of the other abuse and bullying that so frequently ends in tragedy, especially for our GLBT youth. Lest we forget!