Meant To Be [Hardcover]

Walter Anderson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 2, 2003

For many years, Parade magazine's Walter Anderson, one of America's most admired editors, harbored a deep secret about his heritage and the circumstances of his birth. With the publication of this affecting memoir, he reveals the truth about his life and tells the inspirational story of his rags-to-riches career.

Anderson grew up on the "wrong side of the tracks" in Mount Vernon, New York, the youngest child of an alcoholic, abusive father. He escaped his situation by quitting high school at sixteen to join the Marines. Four years later, while on leave to attend his father's funeral, he stuns his mother with a question that has inexplicably haunted him since he was a small boy: Was the man who had so tormented him in his childhood his real father? Her answer: Walter was born of a wartime love affair between his Protestant mother and the Jewish man she loved. His mother swears him to secrecy, and he honors their pact for nearly thirty-five years, and then one day he meets an unknown brother -- another son of his real father -- who has lived a similar, nearly parallel life. Their secret, in ways large and small, defines the course of his life.

Meant To Be is a love story, a journey of self-discovery and spiritual reckoning, and a provocative challenge to commonly held notions about the role of heredity in our lives. Passionately told and deeply moving, Anderson's memoir is the mesmerizing story that he was always meant to tell.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

On the day of his father's funeral in 1969, Anderson, the longtime editor of Parade magazine and CEO of Parade Publications, asked his mother a question that had been on his mind for years: "The man we just buried... Was he my father?" She admitted Anderson's real father had been a Russian-Jewish man she fell in love with while her husband was fighting in WWII. Learning he was, in fact, not the son of the abusive, drunken man who'd raised him would change the course of Anderson's life, but he honored his mother's wish to keep her secret while his two siblings were alive. Thirty-four years later, his astonishingly honest account of his family history is bound to become a coming-of-age classic. Anderson's deft handling of his impoverished childhood in Mount Vernon, N.Y., bears no trace of self-pity. He doesn't gloss over the incessant beatings he suffered at home or the cruelty and taunting he endured on the streets, but he also manages to pay tribute to the neighborhood mother who took an interest in his education and the friends who stuck by his side. Although Anderson's account of his college years and early days in publishing are riveting, the pieces of his puzzle really fall into place when he finally tracks down his half-brother, Herbert Dorfman. The build-up to their first conversation is the stuff of blockbuster suspense and, when it finally happens, Dorfman says it all: "This is simply amazing."
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Even as a child, Anderson knew he was different. Physically, temperamentally, and intellectually removed from his older siblings, he was most at odds with his alcoholic father, at whose hands he suffered devastating emotional and physical abuse. One question haunted him for years: Is this my real father? And it was only after the man's death that Anderson was able to confront his mother with his doubts. Her answer, that she had an illicit affair while his father was overseas during World War II, unleashes more questions than it answers and he spends decades reevaluating his character, his talents, and his life's goals. Anderson, the former editor and current chairman of Parade publications, relates his up-by-the-bootstraps success story with humility and awe. As he reveals his life through illustrative anecdotes that take him from the jungles of Vietnam to audiences with heads of state, Anderson's abiding spirituality, compassion, and appreciation for the essence of family are confirmed within the context of one courageous man's pursuit of the American dream. Carol Haggas
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Harper; First Edition edition (September 2, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060099062
• ISBN-13: 978-0060099060
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #851,189 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Meaning of the Author's Journey, September 11, 2003

By 

Marilyn vos Savant (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Meant To Be (Hardcover)

I won't write a review. After all, I know the author. Oh, I haven't visited his home, and I don't see him often, but way back when, he offered me my current job as a columnist: I write the "Ask Marilyn" column for Parade magazine. Still, I hope to point out to readers an aspect of this book that they might miss otherwise. In reviews, you'll surely read that the book contains an inspiring story of a successful man in search of his roots, no matter where he finds them. And find them, he does: The author learns that he is the love child of a brief wartime romance between his mother and a father he never knew--both were married to others at the time. But what you may not read is that in the telling, this journey amounts to a lifelong valentine to his mother. It barely occurs to the author to forgive her: He sees little to forgive. Less understanding sons might have found fault. Instead, he is so warmed with empathy that he loves her even more. Despite the youthful trials he must have put her through, I'm sure that most mothers would dearly love to have a son like this.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Incredibly Powerful and Inspirational Memoir, November 26, 2003

By 

Bookreporter (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Meant To Be (Hardcover)

If, as the old saying goes, the past is never really past, 59-year-old Walter Anderson proves in MEANT TO BE that you do not have to be imprisoned or destroyed by your past and that people can overcome the secrets of their lives --- no matter how painful --- through love, compassion and the truth.

This is an incredibly powerful and inspirational memoir that is already being called a "coming-of-age classic." On the surface, Anderson's life appeared to be the classic "rags to riches" tale. Raised literally on the wrong side of the tracks in an impoverished section of town, Anderson suffered horrific violence and abuse at the hands of an alcoholic father. He dropped out of high school at 17, joined the Marines and began an improbable climb from the tenements of his childhood to the executive suites of modern American journalism --- first as editor for 20 years of the largest circulation magazine in America, Parade, and now as chairman and CEO of that publication.

But it's the secret lying beneath that surface that makes this book so important. This is not simply the story of yet another victory march. It is the story of a bewildered and deeply hurt child. "I found myself becoming increasingly angry," he writes of his childhood. "Undoubtedly, much of my rage grew out of the abuse and fear I lived with every day at home. But I had a deeper frustration: I didn't seem to belong anywhere...I was different. And the aching feelings of loneliness and doubt, which I kept to myself, hurt more than my father's frequent beatings."

Haunted by that doubt, the 21-year-old Anderson asked his mother a question on the day of his father's funeral in 1966: "The man we just buried...Was he my father?" She confessed that his real father was a man named Albert Dorfman, who she fell in love with during World War II when her husband was in the service. He further learned that his real father was Jewish, and he had a stepbrother alive somewhere.

Anderson's mother, Ethel, is the real hero of this book. Fearing for her child's life if her husband ever learned the truth, she immediately ended the affair and eventually broke off all contact with the love of her life. The passage where she takes her infant son to meet his real father in Grand Central Station is poignant and heartbreaking. But Ethel also acted as a buffer between young Walter and her husband, putting her body between them and trying to deflect the older man's violence whenever possible. Fearful of the impact the truth would have on Walter's older brother and sister, she made him promise to keep her secret for as long as his siblings lived. He also promised not to seek out his real father.

Anderson kept his word and ended up having to wait 35 years before seeing a picture of his real dad, who, ironically enough, died the year before the man he thought was his father. Once his mother freed him from his promise, he began a search that led him to his older stepbrother Herbert, who, he learns, has lived an eerily "parallel life" to his own. His search also helped him discover his spirituality and Jewish heritage. It ended with the reunification of a long-lost family. The alienated, angry child, who belonged nowhere in the world, finally found his home and true inner peace.

What is remarkable about this book is that, despite its high drama and emotion, it is written without an ounce of self-pity or sentiment. Anderson pulls no punches in talking about his own darkness or the shortcomings of his mom. The language is simple and the story is told with a great editor's eye for language. The result is a calm and understated narrative that becomes almost lyrical at times. He tells us: "Much of my childhood was like a dull rain punctured by noisy and unforgettable explosions of lightning."

MEANT TO BE is a courageous book, full of warmth, humanity and hard-earned wisdom. This is not a victim's story. Indeed, it transcends the memoir format to teach us all a lesson in hope and the power of love.

Anderson's life could have taken an entirely different path. Certainly, that "lightning" could have destroyed him, physically and emotionally. But he describes reading himself out of poverty long before he worked his way out. He was probably the only kid to cut school so he could go the library. "Books," he writes, "had a magic about them: I could open a page and be anywhere. I could be anyone. I could imagine myself out of a slum." He also pays tribute to a wonderful neighborhood woman, Ilza Williams, who showed an interest in him, encouraged him and taught him that education was "a voyage that never ends."

As an editor and activist, Walter Anderson has worked hard to help kids in trouble and promote literacy and education. He has distinguished himself in life by striving for things larger than himself, and therein lies the enduring message of this book. At his mother's wake in 2001, he thought, "you freed me with the truth." That truth, along with a lot of compassion and love, can do the same thing for us all.

--- Reviewed by Tom Callahan

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Inspiring, September 24, 2003

By 

Robyn George (Broken Arrow, OK United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Meant To Be (Hardcover)

This book is truly, truly inspiring. I could not put it down! Every person in America should read this book. The lessons gained by reading this book could be life-changing. Mr. Anderson amazes me with his candor in telling his story. The lesson I learned is that no matter how bad your circumstances might be, you CAN rise above it all. What a beautiful memoir. Praise God for the "Mrs. Williams" of the world that impact us as children. Everyone needs a "Mrs. Williams". I absolutely loved this book and I'm telling everyone to read it. It blessed me.