In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want [Hardcover]

Iyanla Vanzant (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 20, 1998

You know where you want to be, but you have no clue how to get there. You know exactly what you want in life, but what you want is nowhere in sight. Perhaps your vision is unclear, your purpose still undefined. On top of it all, your relationships, particularly your romantic relationships, are failing. If these scenarios feel familiar way down in the deepest part of your gut-- then you, my dear, are smack dab in the middle of the meantime.

Your mother, bless her heart, and your father, with all of his good intentions, did not prepare you for the meantime. They did not because they could not. No one can prepare you or help you find what you are looking for. What you need is love, not romance. Love, not more money. Love, not a new car. Love is the only thing that can make the meantime worthwhile. Once you find love, true selflove, and unconditional love for everyone all the time, things will look, feel, and be a lot better. The question is: What do you do in the meantime?

Every living being wants to experience the light of love. The problem is that our windows are dirty! The windows of our hearts and minds are streaked with past pains and hurts, past memories and disappointments. The windows are so clouded by fear, self-doubt, and inaccurate information that the light of love cannot shine through. In the meantime, we keep looking through the foggy window, trying to convince ourselves that what we see is the real thing. It's not, and we know it, but we can't seem to figure out what to do until the real thing comes along. What we must do is clean. We must clean the windows, floors, walls, closets, and corners of our mind. We must mop and sweep away the stuff that trips us up, keeps us confused, and makes the meantime miserable. In this book, Iyanla Vanzant tells us how we can do this thorough mental housekeeping. If we do a good job of it, the light will come through. Once that happens, our spirits will shine, bringing in the light of true love and happiness.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

What is the meantime? According to author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant, being in the "meantime" means being in a state of limbo. "When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime," she explains. Rather than wallow in confusion, Vanzant encourages you to use the meantime as an opportunity to prepare yourself for true love. The first order of business is to clean house, starting with the basement--the place in the psyche where you store your most destructive thoughts. Room by room, Vanzant takes you through a metaphorical cleaning of the soul. This way, when your meantime days are over and love finally comes knocking on the front door, you'll have a clean house to welcome love into.

From Library Journal

Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. For self-help collections in public libraries.ANann Blaine Hilyard, Lake Villa Dist. Lib., IL
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; First Printing edition (January 20, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684841363
• ISBN-13: 978-0684841366
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (213 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #280,301 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #17 in Books > Oprah®

More About the Author

With more than 8 million books in print, Iyanla Vanzant has truly established a dedicated fan base.
Iyanla's path to success took her through a multitude of life-changing experiences that shaped the profound insights she eagerly shares with others. A neglected, overweight, sexually abused child who was shuttled from one family to another, she became a teenage mother on welfare living in the projects of a major urban city. Vanzant took control of her life when she walked out of her second abusive marriage and entered Medgar Evers College in New York and then the City University of New York Law School. She moved to Philadelphia with her children and became a public defender for three years. Then she eventually became an ordained minister, who was committed to a message based on the principles of divine power and self-determination.

Iyanla combined her professional skills with her life's lessons and embarked on a writing and speaking career. Her mass appeal is evident in her overwhelming success as an author. In the Meantime was a #1 New York Times bestseller, where it spent 20 weeks on the list, and she has had numerous other major bestsellers. As a nationally recognized speaker she has sold out such prestigious venues as New York's Jacob Javits Convention Center, Nashville's Grand Ole Opry, Atlanta's Civic Center, and the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles. Vanzant is also familiar to the daytime TV audience from her role as a regular contributor on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."

Acclaimed journalist and producer Barbara Walters recognized Vanzant's extraordinary appeal, seeing in her a "breakaway talent" with the potential for huge success in daytime television. With Walters and partner Bill Geddie on board to executive produce, Buena Vista Productions to develop the show, and Buena Vista Television as distributor, the road to Iyanla was forged.

Vanzant has received numerous accolades for her work. In 1992 Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley named October 21st "Tapping the Power Within Day" in honor of a workshop she presented in that city for African-American women. In 1994, the National Association of Equal Opportunity in Education, an organization comprised of the presidents and administrators of the 117 predominantly Black colleges in the United States named her Alumni of the Year. She also was awarded an "Oni" by the International Congress of Black Women as one of the nation's unsung heroes, and she served as the national spokesperson for Literacy Volunteers of America in 1998.

In 1999 she was listed among the 100 Most Influential African-Americans by Ebony magazine. Later that year, she was awarded the 31st NAACP Image Award for "Outstanding Literary Work, Non-Fiction" for Yesterday I Cried. She also earned her first Honorary Doctorate degree, Doctor of Humane Letters, from the City University of New York, Medgar Evars College. In 2000, she earned her second honorary degree, Doctor of Divinity, from the Theological Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia. In addition, Ebony has named her one of their "55 Most Intriguing People," Vibe magazine tabbed her one of "100 Leaders of the New Millennium" and Newsweek recently included her as one of the "Women of the New Century."

The mother of three and grandmother of four, Vanzant lives in Silver Spring, Maryland with her husband Adeyemi and Mr. Coco, their cat.

To learn how Iyanla can help you get started on your journey toward spiritual

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 63 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Opportunity to Heal Ourselves, February 21, 2005

By 

Mile High (Denver) - See all my reviews

This review is from: In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want (Paperback)

Reading this book was the best thing I've done for myself in years. As a man reeling from ANOTHER extremely painful breakup, I was desperate for anything to sooth the pain. Having read LOTS of self-help books, I can say with some justification that this is the most spiritual, calming, healing guide to relationships that I've ever encountered. Like a cold compress on a fevered brow, I could always find relief and peace by reading this book, even at 3:00 in the morning.

Recommended to me by a spiritually advanced friend, I found it to be the only thing that calmed me down, stopped my heart from racing, eliminated the panic attacks, and made me feel whole again. It provides a loving, gentle nudge in the direction of individual wholeness, completeness, and understanding of what we've all done wrong in relationships. More importantly, it shows us what we can do to PREVENT these disasters in the future. The key, of course, is self-love. Like a gentle mother guiding her unruly offspring, Ayanla lovingly puts us back on the right path without making us feel stupid, unworthy, or hopelessly inept at love. Her most powerful contribution is the concept that no matter how bad our partner and the relationship, it is ALWAYS ONLY ABOUT US!

This book provides a roadmap to relationship success, if only we make the time for ourselves to uncover our own issues and work to correct them. I've read the book three times in a row, including highlighting, underlining, and dog-earring the pages. This is like a User's Guide to love. Don't get caught without it. Please savor this book. Race through it the first time, if you must, but read it slowly again to really understand what she is trying to teach us. Vanzant should get the Nobel Prize for this one.

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for understanding life, December 27, 1999

By 

"jessica_maia" - See all my reviews

This review is from: In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want (Paperback)

Excellent book for anyone who has not become their "ideal self" yet. This book reads like an old friend and earnestly works toward achieving what you truly want in life.... a better sense of self worth. It teaches that loving yourself comes first. Although this premise is not new, the book shows common occurances that we do not recognize immediately as disrespectful ourselves. This book does not talk down to the reader nor is it flooded with psychobabble.

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Pretending that everything is just fine!, February 7, 2000

By 

[e-mail] (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want (Hardcover)

Iyanla's book was painfully true and exact! It wasn't until I stopped denying that I had accepted things in my life - unsatisfying career, dead end relationships, negative relationships - that were taking me away from the "true self", that I came to appreciate that I needed to hear the truth from someone who didn't care if my feelings were hurt. From someone who was not judgemental and insensitive. I beleive as people, we are in denial about alot of things in our lives. And maybe we are too proud to admit this to others, but always be true to yourself. That is the only way a change can come about for the better. At the end of the day, when there are no more eyes to look into and fake smile, when you are weary of saying "I'm doing great!", when actually, you are so unsure about yourself and how you feel, you really have no clue about how you really feel! This book isn't scholarly! You don't need your doctorate degree to relate. It's conversational! It's down to earth! It's like listening on the other end of the phone, while your Aunt's talk! It's a must read.