61 of 63 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Opportunity to Heal Ourselves, February 21, 2005
Reading this book was the best thing I've done for myself in years. As a man reeling from ANOTHER extremely painful breakup, I was desperate for anything to sooth the pain. Having read LOTS of self-help books, I can say with some justification that this is the most spiritual, calming, healing guide to relationships that I've ever encountered. Like a cold compress on a fevered brow, I could always find relief and peace by reading this book, even at 3:00 in the morning.
Recommended to me by a spiritually advanced friend, I found it to be the only thing that calmed me down, stopped my heart from racing, eliminated the panic attacks, and made me feel whole again. It provides a loving, gentle nudge in the direction of individual wholeness, completeness, and understanding of what we've all done wrong in relationships. More importantly, it shows us what we can do to PREVENT these disasters in the future. The key, of course, is self-love. Like a gentle mother guiding her unruly offspring, Ayanla lovingly puts us back on the right path without making us feel stupid, unworthy, or hopelessly inept at love. Her most powerful contribution is the concept that no matter how bad our partner and the relationship, it is ALWAYS ONLY ABOUT US!
This book provides a roadmap to relationship success, if only we make the time for ourselves to uncover our own issues and work to correct them. I've read the book three times in a row, including highlighting, underlining, and dog-earring the pages. This is like a User's Guide to love. Don't get caught without it. Please savor this book. Race through it the first time, if you must, but read it slowly again to really understand what she is trying to teach us. Vanzant should get the Nobel Prize for this one.
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Perfect for understanding life, December 27, 1999
Excellent book for anyone who has not become their "ideal self" yet. This book reads like an old friend and earnestly works toward achieving what you truly want in life.... a better sense of self worth. It teaches that loving yourself comes first. Although this premise is not new, the book shows common occurances that we do not recognize immediately as disrespectful ourselves. This book does not talk down to the reader nor is it flooded with psychobabble.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Pretending that everything is just fine!, February 7, 2000
Iyanla's book was painfully true and exact! It wasn't until I stopped denying that I had accepted things in my life - unsatisfying career, dead end relationships, negative relationships - that were taking me away from the "true self", that I came to appreciate that I needed to hear the truth from someone who didn't care if my feelings were hurt. From someone who was not judgemental and insensitive. I beleive as people, we are in denial about alot of things in our lives. And maybe we are too proud to admit this to others, but always be true to yourself. That is the only way a change can come about for the better. At the end of the day, when there are no more eyes to look into and fake smile, when you are weary of saying "I'm doing great!", when actually, you are so unsure about yourself and how you feel, you really have no clue about how you really feel! This book isn't scholarly! You don't need your doctorate degree to relate. It's conversational! It's down to earth! It's like listening on the other end of the phone, while your Aunt's talk! It's a must read.
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