Customer Reviews

Measure of the Heart: A Father's Alzheimer's, A Daughter's Return

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About a year ago, I was exploring a relatively undiscovered island paradise in the South China Sea when I received a call telling me my father (age 92) and his wife (86) had been in an accident and both were in the hospital. As the only child, I naturally said I'd be there (rural western Michigan - more than 8,600 miles away) as soon as possible. When I commented something like "must have been a bad accident" the response was "the accident isn't the problem." Having an unstable VOIP connection, I let that comment drop and began making arrangement to head there (stopping off briefly at my home in Nevada). As soon as I got to the states, I had to confront the harsh reality: the accident wasn't the cause of the problem - it was the result of both of them having what was now diagnosed as "Senile Dementia of Alzheimer's type."
Flash forward 9 months. My life has adapted to a routine of flying to Michigan to spend a week or so each month with them -- while a couple wonderful paid 24/7 caregivers allow them the freedom to stay in their home. I'm fresh off a red-eye, driving a rent-a-SUV full of food and flowers and Depends heading to my parent's home when I hear on Diane Rehms' NPR show some woman addressing a challenging issue that I was also facing at the time (how to get an Alzheimer's patient to eat). Damn! She had some extremely helpful suggestions. As soon as I arrived, I implemented her concepts -- then went on-line with my laptop and ordered her book (Measure of the Heart) from Amazon. And I'm so glad I did.
More than merely a compendium of useful tips (even though it is also that) Mary Ellen Geist's book is an insightful and thought-provoking first-person perspective that will strike a resounding chord with anyone who has a friend or family member with this disease - as well as being a fascinating, touching story for any reader.
It is her very personal narrative of leaving the fast-paced, high-profile world of broadcast journalism in New York City to come home to Michigan and help care for her father who has suffered from Alzheimer's for 10+ years. With a delicate balance of humor and profound sadness, Mary Ellen gives voice to the heart-wrenching challenges that hundreds of thousands of us baby boomers now face in caring for our aging parent.
It is obvious from her book that her father was a brilliant, charming and gentle man. It also shines a light on the heroism of spousal caretakers like her mother, Rosemary. It weaves together this family's story with a very readable account of his slow transformation and deterioration. She addresses the complexity and array of emotions surrounding issues such as the loss of independence, unwanted personality shifts, struggle to communicate, and the unique power music sometimes has to transcend the pain.
This book is hard to put down. Then, on the other hand, there were times in reading her story (such as dealing with refusals to eat or patiently listening to the same story over and over) that touched me so deeply and personally, that I had to stop reading and put it down.
Mary Ellen acknowledges the difficulty of these situations honestly, while at the same time providing simple concepts that can help diffuse the issues by emphasizing a strategy of relating to patients in their own reality.
She used her fine journalistic investigative skills to learn everything she could about the disease's history and treatment options. The book is user friendly. It shows easy, day to day activities that can help patients feel a sense of connection and accomplishment.
This is book of courage, instruction, empathy and family loyalty. Certainly, there are numerous challenges that other families face which it does not address. Yet, it is what it is: her personal revelation of her family's story. This appears to be an exceptional family - she is certainly an extraordinary woman - and this is a book I can whole-heartedly recommend.

Mary Ellen leaves her successful radio broadcast journalism career to earn the real Pulitzer Prize of life with this frank account of helping her mother deal with her father's Alzheimer's disease. Becoming a caretaker is challenging more than one can imagine, especially when it requires living 24/7 with the patient one loves. Mary Ellen and her sisters discover that their mother can no longer handle her husband's health care on her own, leaving the only single daughter to return home to Michigan. With vivid detail and description, Mary Ellen provides almost a daily journal of her and her family's desire to give Woody Geist, a life with dignity. Her emotional and sometimes humorous account offers the reader what it's really like to care for a loved with one, offering many practical questions and tips to consider when taking on the responsibility. The book is well-written and takes reveals what it's like to be one of the 10 million people caring for a person with dementia. "Measure of the Heart" is a must read for anyone considering or caring for a loved one. Mary Ellen, who has covered many difficult stories in her award-wining journalism career, discovers the most challenging one is right in her own family.

As lifespans lengthen, it's an unfortunate reality that more and more of us are likely to encounter the tragedy of Alzheimer's Disease. In "Measure of the Heart," ambitious, successful California and New York radio news anchor and reporter Mary Ellen Geist tells of leaving her career to help her mother care for her father as he declines in the clutches of this terrible affliction.

Both an exlanation of Alzheimers and a personal caregiver's memoir, this book explores the tragic effects of the disease on the vctim and his family. As the disease progresses, the author learns to let herself be guided by her heart rather than by the pressures of her demanding career.

This very personal story helps to explain the devotion of Woody Geist's wife, daughters, and other family members to this nice, kind, cheerful former CEO who loves to play tennis and to sing, activities he is able to continue long after the disease strikes. The family's selfless devotion and refusal to put Woody into a care facility seem puzzling as the disease progresses, and yet their extraordinary love is admirable.

In addition to telling the victim's and caregivers' stories, this book explores and lists various resources: helpful organizations, publications, and web sites devoted to Alzheimer's and those dealing with it. The book makes fascination reading for anyone who has ever wondered about the disease or marveled at the dedication of those dealing with its victims. For anyone faced with an Alzheimer's diagnosis in the famiy, it should be required reading.

After reading Mary Ellen's book, I started thinking about a photo I took a few years ago that shows a Buddhist monk sweeping away a Tibetan sand mandala that had taken a week to painstakingly create. The act of destroying that beautiful and sacred work of art is a lesson about the impermanence of life, which is best lived in the moment.

For me, that image sums up MEG's book.

"Measure of the Heart" tells the story of how Mary Ellen Geist left her high-profile media career in New York to return to her childhood home in Michigan to help care for her father Woody, an Alzheimer's patient. Mary Ellen recounts that while she used to introduce herself to strangers with her name followed by radio station call letters; these days it's "the measure of the heart that matters most."

Alzheimer's has touched my life, if only obliquely; my 76-year-old mother has at least three friends whose families have someone diagnosed with the disease. And, then, there's MEG's story about her father's experience. Sad to say, these stories won't be the last.

I highly recommend this book; it's full of great information, insight, humor, wisdom, comfort and compassion.

(Total disclosure: MEG is a friend and former colleague).

Originally I saw this book in a local bookstore and it looked quite interesting. While not involved with an Alzheimer's patient, there is always that possibility. I decided to read it and found it very worthwhile. It made me understand not only many of the issues and problems experienced by the patient, but the stresses, difficulties and unrelenting "on-the-job" requirements experienced by the caregiver. That individual almost has to give up his or her own life to care for the patient. Frequently, that caregiver is also giving to others (such as children, job, spouse) as well. My cousin is caring for her mother-in-law; I sent her a copy of this enlightening book so she could better understand the disease and the need to care as well for herself, not just the patient. She vowed to get copies of this book into the hands of all the patient's other children. I would highly recommend this easy-to-read, at times funny, sometimes heartwarming, but mostly educational book on Alzheimer's from a daughter-caregiver's point of view. Worth your time.

Mary Ellen Geist left a stellar career as a radio broadcaster to move home and help her mother take care of her father, Woody, a sufferer of Alzheimer's. She did not know, could not know what she was in for.

Like so many daughters who move home to cope with this devastating disease, Geist experienced moments of sweetness, hours of frustration, days of pain as she watched her father slip further and further away. Her dreams of rescuing her mother from the pain of a spouse with Alzheimer's faded away to a more realistic view of the disease and the problems that inevitably accompany it. Their world, once expansive, contracted as friends slipped away. This is how it is living with Alzheimer's.

Geist has created a fine volume. Her writing shines and is even lyrical at times. Her pain is clear; the gifts this disease brought her also clear. Hers is a book to make the tears flow, and mine did as I recalled my own father's descent into darkness.

If there ever were a reason to make every possible effort to avoid Alzheimer's or any other the other dementias associated with aging, Geist provides it. Read it. Weep and laugh with her.

Godspeed Woody. Godspeed Mary Ellen. Well done.

This book offers so many wonderful suggestions for those caring for a parent with Alzheimer's. Not only does Ms. Geist address issues such as hospital stays for Alzheimer's patients and feeding challenges, but she offers a peek into how to design a life for an Alzheimer's patient that continues to be joyful, fulfilling and full of connection with family. I interviewed her for [...]. Here is a link to the interview: [...]

I would highly recommend this book, as it is interesting to read and has so many wonderful ideas on coping with being a caregiver, and tapping into whatever joy is possible in this situation.

Two days after my father died, I found an interview with Mary Ellen Geist on the front page of The New York Times. How familiar her story sounded--she had left her job in New York and returned to her parents' home in Michigan to help look after her father--and what a comfort it was to read about their last adventures together.

That's a lighthearted word, adventures, but insofar as it's possible, Geist has written a cheerful and adventurous book. It's helpful, not because she has set out to train anyone on caretaking tips for dementia patients, but because she has a sharp eye and a piercing story to tell. By the time her book came out, my father's Alzheimer's lay safely in the past--but like a soldier who's been through a war, I wanted to see how others have dealt with the conflict.

Geist is especially deft on the question of coercion: of persuading the Alzheimer's patient to do what we think is good for them. "Getting an Alzheimer's patient to do things the way people who are not impaired do them is, in many cases, stressful for both the patient and the caregiver and could actually do more harm than good for both. Is it so important that he act like a `normal' person? To me, it's not."

That simple conviction is inevitably tested, because, as it is for a very young child, a great deal is decided for Alzheimer's patients against their will. So it was with Geist's father. She and her mother don't let him stop eating when he pushes away his plate, but find ways to make him swallow more food. Because they know it will help him walk better, they decide on double knee replacement surgery for him. Coercion is a daily response, even if it's something as simple as trying to improve his mood. I think such manipulation is an eternal debate when caring for Alzheimer's patients--who sometimes, as my brother once said to me, "need to give up for a while and stop rising to the occasion." In this balanced and graceful book, Mary Ellen Geist goes to the heart of such questions.

This nonfiction book is about a daughter who quits her job to move back home to help her mother care for her father who has Alzheimers. Reading this is an enjoyable way to learn about Alzheimers, what to expect and how to deal with it. It gives many resources for support for those who have Alzheimers and their caregivers. I found it very interesting that the dad responded to music and could remember all the words to songs but couldn't remember the right name of objects or people. He couldn't read a book or newspaper, but he could read words written on a music staff such as song lyrics. I would recommend this book to anyone who has a relationship with someone with Alzheimers or who just wants to learn more about this disease.

This daughter's role as caregiver to her father was similar to my experience in caring for my dad, although fortunately mine did not have Alzheimers. The book I wrote,My Funny Dad, Harry, shares my experience of being my aging dad's primary caregiver. He had diabetes and was practically deaf. I could certainly relate to what she was going through.

What a wonderful book about Mary Ellen Geist who gives up her high paying job as a reporter, her lifestyle and all she knows to move back with her mom to take care of her dad who has Alzheimers. This book has it all--humor, sadness, touching moments. You get into it quickly and at points it is hard to put down. I enjoyed this this book! I'd give it 10 stars if I could!