Customer Reviews

The Medical Marriage: Sustaining Healthy Relationships for Physicians and Their Families

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

As the spouse to a physician, I have always wondered if our relationship was unique. After reading this book, I realized the answer is yes and no. Yes, it is unique in that I am married to a physician which has its own set of characteristics. And No, it isn't unique among other medical marriages. We are not alone when it comes to spouses who are driven, perfectionists, and OCD to name a few. This book lays out the various types of physician relationships, their personality traits and characteristics and examples of good and bad relationships. An added benefit is the quotes from real life couples and also the steps successful couples have followed. This book really saved my sanity and gave me perspective I greatly needed at a tough time. I realized I had to have a different understanding of my relationship as it was unique to the profession. A wonderful book for anyone about to enter a relationship with a physician, anyone already in a relationship and for the physician themselves! ( My husband read it and said, 'Hmm, that does sound like me!" )

I wish I'd come across this book years ago. Medical schools should have a mandatory class built around this book. Reading it I constantly found myself amazed at how similar the accounts of other medical marriage were to my own. I'd find my physician husband's behaviors, opinions, attitudes, etc. common to many other physicians in the book and my own frustrations, worries, behaviors mirrored by many of the physician wives in the book as well. The book classifies medical marriages into 8 categories (male physician married to at-home wife, female physician married to non-physician, two married physicians, etc.) I was surprised at how closely our category tagged our relationship's problems, strengths, needs. I do wish they'd gone into more detail on how to handle the various problems, ways to avoid the common pitfalls, etc. I plan on lending it to a friend where both husband and wife are physicians.

No doubt ~ it was a relief to read we weren't the only ones. Medical marriages are without question wound together tightly by stress, partly due to the job, and partly due to the type of personality the job attracts (the best docs out there seem to have a degree of OCD, which interestingly often contributes to their success).

I did not find this book to be helpful in moving forward however. For that, I turned to the marriage topic in general and discovered "All You Need Is Love and Other Lies About Marriage." Between these two titles, I feel we've gotten past some bumps in the road and hopefully *fingers crossed* are educated enough to head future trouble off at the pass.

If you're drowning in a medical marriage, use these two books as your life saver. And know that you aren't alone! Much luck and happiness to you. :o)

Separate sections for the male as the physician, the female as the physician, and when both are physicians are presented. Whatever your circumstance, it is very useful to see your relationship difficulties in terms of the problems that others are undoubtedly experiencing. You can benefit from the authors' useful ideas for best managing typical conflicts, without blaming yourself or your spouse. The authors note that all counseling, reimbursed by US-based health insurance, involves assigning a psychiatric pathology label. This process, alone, is likely to be iatrogenic.
Learning to best manage life's difficulties is is a major thrust of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (smartmarriages.com) an organization to which the authors contribute. Repetiton of improved relational habits from educational foundations, such as this book are an important key typically unknown to a majority of "therapists."
This is a "must" textbook for medical libraries, and a must read for those entering medical school.

Halfway through it and it is very good concerning the difficulties that physicians who are married or in a serious relationships face thoughout their careers. A good read for those entering the profession and a must read for those recently married.