Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match [Hardcover]

Amy Spencer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 12, 2010

How would you like to have a wonderfully well-suited, kind, adoring half-orange who feels like a teammate, a partner in crime, a true other half? “Half-Orange” refers to the Spanish term mi media naranja, which describes one’s sweetheart, that perfect other half. What if you heard he or she would be coming along soon? Would you be relieved? Excited? Happy? Well those are the feelings that dating optimism can give you.

Rather than admonishing readers to make themselves more available, or turn dating into a full-time job, Spencer's program of dating optimism is a fun, results-oriented way to find a healthy happy relationship, based on brain science and psychology that can help you become a more positive dater. She'll guide you through sowing the orange seed of your ideal relationship and growing it to “fruit-ion.” In essence, by focusing positively about dating, you can actually change your brain, which changes everything from your body language to the way you perceive others and what you ultimately attract.

Meeting Your Half-Orange is the pep talk that puts finding true love back into your own hands. It will guide you toward becoming so focused on the relationship you want and so happy in your own skin, the right person will be naturally drawn straight to you. You’ve never read a dating guide like this before. But best of all, it will be the last one you’ll ever need.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide and Getting the Love You Want
"This is a book of hope helping those looking for their other half move from pessimism to hope and from fantasy to reality. A must read for singles looking for love.”

Jillian Michaels, fitness trainer on NBC’s The Biggest Loser and bestselling author of Master Your Metabolism
“IF YOU’RE SINGLE, drop everything and read this book. It will completely change dating for you as you know it. I can work out your body, but Amy will get your love life in shape!”

Harper’s Bazaar, February 2010
"Disillusioned by dating? Meeting Your Half-Orange is the ultimate pep talk.”

Glamour, March 2010
“Tear up your old list for your ideal mate, says Amy Spencer, author of the new book Meeting Your Half-Orange. Forget the superficial musts . . . and focus on how you want to feel in the relationship.”

Cosmopolitan U.K. , February 2010
"Meeting Your Half-Orange by Amy Spencer is a dating guide with a difference.”

Laurie Sandell, author of The Impostor’s Daughter
“I could not put this book down. Amy Spencer cuts through the scrap heap of self-help literature with a guide to life that is so joyful—so utterly helpful—you can consolidate that library into one. Women and men looking for love, meet your new guru.”

Star magazine, February 8, 2010
“Just in time for Valentine’s Day comes this upbeat book from relationship expert Amy Spencer. She thinks there’s a Mr. Right, or half-orange, for everyone, and the only way to find him is by being yourself. Sounds tasty!”

Actress Diane Farr, Californication and Rescue Me
“Where the heck was this book when I was single? It would have saved me years of frustration! I’ll be recommending Meeting Your Half-Orange to every ‘single’ person I know.”

Joanna Bober, magazine editor
“I feel like Amy is absolutely hitting on every issue that spins around in the brain of a single woman, even the ones that I couldn’t explain to myself. This book is a gift to women.”

BookPage, February 2010
“In Meeting Your Half-Orange, Amy Spencer helps singles harness the power of optimism to find their other halves. If your glass is empty . . . you may be the person who needs it most.”

Skirt! Boston, January 21, 2010
“If you're constantly looking for love, stop the search, and pick up Amy Spencer's new dating guide Meeting Your Half-Orange. This optimistic and unique take on relationships and what we truly want in our other-halves is unlike your typical "go seek our Mr. Right" self-help book. Instead, Spencer advocates for establishing yourself as an individual and learning to accept yourself for who you are, rather than transforming to cater to the needs of a potential boyfriend.”

Sirens magazine, February 16, 2010
“Snaps to Spencer for putting ‘upbeat’ right there in the title. Nearly every other dating book screams at women with phrases such as ‘find love now!’ or ‘stop making dumb mistakes!’ This text—half memoir, half advice book—takes the perspective of an honest, encouraging friend who’s been there.”

About the Author

Amy Spencer is a relationship expert who writes for Glamour, Harper’s Bazaar, Page Six Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Match.com, and others, and the former host of the relationship call-in advice show Sex Files on Sirius Satellite Radio’s Maxim channel. She lives in Venice, CA, with her own “half-orange.”

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Running Press (January 12, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 076243774X
• ISBN-13: 978-0762437740
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #562,360 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Amy Spencer grew up in Sea Cliff, New York, spent a decade in Manhattan and now resides in Venice, California with her half-orange, her husband.

Amy is the author of BRIGHT SIDE UP: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now (Perigee, 2012) and MEETING YOUR HALF-ORANGE: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match (Running Press, 2010). Read more about the books at brightsideup.com and meetingyourhalforange.com.

Amy provides doses of life and love positivity on her site TheLifeOptimist.com, offers "Assignment Optimism" tips on Twitter (twitter.com/@datingoptimist) and creates the happiest email you'll get all week, VITAMIN OPTIMISM, which offers an small optimism practice you can try each week--you can sign up for it on Amy's website, AmySpencer.com.

Amy's a magazine journalist who has written for Glamour, Harper's Bazaar, New York magazine, CNN.com, Redbook, Health and others. Prior to writing full-time, she was an editor at MAXIM, GLAMOUR and STAR magazines. She was a radio host on Sirius XM radio and has appeared on NBC, CBS, VH1 and the E! channel and more. She created Half-Orange Optimisms for the iPhone, which appeared in the "Featured Apps" section of the App store, made the App store's "What's Hot" list and was featured in New York's The Daily News. And when she's not writing, Amy loves biking, taking photographs, watching television cooking shows and she absolutely lives for popcorn.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 38 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Not for Men June 1, 2010

By Joe Kindle

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

Having heard so much positive buzz about this book I thought it might be good for me to read it since I'm back in the dating world again. While this book may have great ideas, and I have to assume it does from all of the 5 star reviews, it isn't a book that men can use to get help with their dating. Before buying the book, I read reviews on this site and on others to try and determine if the book was meant for both female and male readers. I couldn't find anywhere that said the book was intended only for women, and actually did find a couple of editor reviews that said both men and women could benefit from it. I bought the book and started reading it with an open attitude, assuming that the primary target was women but it would still be a good read. Unfortunately, I couldn't get more than 10% of the way through it, even after three attempts. I finally had to give up on it. All of the references to dating prospects were to "handsome guys", "Mr Right", etc.. All examples of positives, negatives, dating situations, etc. were targeted towards females. I tried to substitute male examples but it completely broke the thought flow of the book. I just couldn't get through it. It's obvious why they don't but I think the marketing should indicate the book is intended for females.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars It's Not Orange, It's Gold! February 1, 2011

By Preyanka

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

A friend of mine gave me some good advice that is line with the ideas in this book. It's so simple, but so logical. So far, it's worked for me in terms of friendships, and I am confident it will work for me in all my relationships:

Make a list, and make it detailed, of all the qualities you want in your soul-mate. Add all the qualities you definitely DON'T want in your soul-mate. Focus on how badly you want that person. Now, spend the next few days, weeks, months, or years BECOMING that person you have written down. That is the ONLY way you are ever going to truly love and respect yourself, and that is the only way you are ever going to find him or her. And no, you're not SO unique that there's no one out there who matches you. In fact, there are LOTS of people out there who do, and once you become the person you seek, those people are going to start walking into your life like magic. If you seem to attract negative people or unhealthy relationships, this will NEVER change unless you work on yourself. Like attracts like.

This is a beautiful book that may seem dreamy but is actually pretty rational. Unless you're actively trying not to get involved with anyone or living in a cave, relationships are pretty much inevitable. And relationships are ALWAYS mirrors. They reflect you exactly. And if you're not living your best life and being your best self, then you're going to attract people you don't truly want to spend your life with, even though you might think you do; that's why you spend so much time agonizing over the way they DON'T measure up. If you wanted to spend your life with them, you'd be happy with them just the way they are. So why can't you just walk away when you know they are not what you want just the way they are?... Because you're afraid you'll never find anyone else, so you'd rather anguish over trying to change them than just walk away and take the risk of finding someone new who does reflect your best self.

If you want someone who is honest, then you have to be honest with yourself and others. If you want someone who is adventurous and doesn't just sit around playing video games all day, then you have to be adventurous. If you want someone who is generous and kind, then you have to start being generous and kind. If you want someone who loves you and respects you, then you are going to have to start loving and respecting yourself, which means taking care of your mind, body, and soul. Based on the assumption that relationships are inevitable, which they are, if you are being the person you want to be and living the life you want to live, you're going to attract a mirror sooner or later. And you may attract some guys or girls who don't mirror those qualities, but you won't have much patience for them once you understand and believe that YOU WILL ATTRACT your soul-mate. It's easier to ditch the bad apples once you realize that being alone temporarily is better than being stuck with the guy who is not for you.

My only problem with this book was how the author presented quick courtships and marriages. Almost all of the examples had women meeting their half oranges and marrying them within months...with no follow-ups on how their marriages were 10 or 15 years down the line.

If you read Tiger Woods Syndrome, you will learn that many men with serious issues are very good at adapting themselves to be exactly what you want in the beginning of a relationship, and they even believe themselves because they're overwhelmed with feelings and attraction. However, they often end up living a double life of lies and affairs or they abandon you because they realize they weren't being themselves and that love and attraction wasn't enough to heal the hole in their soul. They keep repeating this pattern, and no matter much you love them, you will never be able to fix them; only therapy and a true desire to work on their issues can change them.

Taking it slow weeds out the guys who are either conning you and only want sex or who have issues and are lying to themselves and are therefore unreliable in the long-run. Taking it slow allows you to really get to know someone and develop intimacy. I rushed into a quick engagement with a man who I thought was perfect for me but who ended up lying about everything. Needless to say, it was more painful than it had to be because I ignored the red flags and charged full steam ahead. Another book to read if you tend to get into bad relationships is How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before you Get Involved by Sandra Brown. Read more ›

29 of 38 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Should be Clearly Labeled "Law of Attraction" February 21, 2011

By Natasha Smith

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I feel that this book was poorly marketed. Somehow, I didn't immediately equivocate "dating optimism" with the Law of Attraction and its accompanying pseudo-science. Spencer quotes from science books (not interviews) and tries to spin the mumbo-jumbo as a legitimate "scientific" approach. Some of the gems from this book so far: She quotes that "Nothing exists until it is measured," and then tells us that we can measure our thoughts! Apparently this thought is supposed to be connected to the fact that our atoms are made of vibrating energy. Oh, and "The universe just knows what you're giving your attention to." Goody! I'm glad the universe is so attuned to me. (If that's the case, why do I need a book to tell me? Shouldn't the universe just be focused on making me happy?)

I do like some of the ideas in this book, but trying to pass off "stop being so desperate and you'll look better" as a scientific law strikes me as fairly cheesy. The people who want to buy into it don't need the desperate attempts at science, which actually make the book look worse. Furthermore, I'm a little incensed that the Law of Attraction seems peculiarly marketed towards women; I guess the more passive we are, the better. And that leads me to my next beef: like many dating books out there, this one's completely heteronormative. It's also anti-feminist, blaming the women's movement for some kind of singleness epidemic (stating that the "pendulum" has "swung too far"), when the fact that women are forced to choose between marriage and a career is actually a testament to how much more the women's movement has left to do. To some extent at least, it assumes traditional gender roles, and seems to dumb women down unnecessarily.

The book doesn't surprise me so much; all the raving reviews certainly do.... Is this really the twenty-first century? We should have come further by now. Read more ›

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Buzzing Orange March 22, 2010

By A. Rodriguez

Format:Hardcover

I stumbled upon Amy Spencer's blog a few months ago. I was in a sad, grey place. I was coming up on a year after I broke-up with my boyfriend of 5 years. It's the typical thing: I thought I was going to get married, I thought he was "the one", I thought...but I knew something was off so we ended it on good terms. We both felt we weren't quite right for each other. Even though it was true, it left me disillusioned in the world of dating. I've never been very good at it do begin with, so I suppose that's part of the reason I clung on.
I kept wondering as the months trickled by, "what is wrong with me, why not me" all the things most single gals ask themselves at one point or another. But my friends said "nothing is wrong with you, you just haven't met the right guy", then comes Amy's book that basically echoed there sentiment: Nothing is wrong with you. Just be your fabulous, awesome unique self, and he'll come to you. I though this was bolonga. Then I realized that a HUGE component to my dating, and well life, outlook was missing. Optimism. I'm a highly optimistic person...but just not for myself. I'll cheerleader for my friends up and down "you can do it, I believe in you!" but yet I couldn't get around to saying those things to myself. Right around valentine's day is when I was feeling my lowest. I was feeling bitter, cynical, frustrated and angry and its a suit I don't like to wear because well, it doesn't "suit" me. Plus, two days after valentine's day was the one year anniversary so I cut myself some slack. I told myself "ok, I'm giving you this week to be mopey, cynical, bitter and mad after that, you're done and you're reading this book!" And that I did.
I began to read it slowly...a few pages every night so that it could sink in and I could think of what I read as I fell asleep.... At first, I resisted all the optimistic things Amy was saying, but as time went on my initial "it's not true" turned into "could this be true?" to finally "this is totally true!" The "truth" being finding my half orange.
I finished the book last night with a renewed hope, turned it over and started it right back up! I want to make sure I cover and absorb (again) all her orange nuggets she has for us.
This has truly been a wonderful book, a book that feels like you're sitting down and having a chat with one of your girlfriends. She may not personally know who we are, but she's been there and I feel like she's our own personal cheerleader. So go ahead, pick up the book when you're ready. It will do wonders for the way you think and feel, not just for your love life, but for your life as a whole. Read more ›