Customer Reviews

Megapiranha

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

After watching this a second time, I cannot sit silent any longer. If you like bad/funny (as opposed to bad/boring) movies, Mega Piranha must be seen! This is either a brilliant parody or a totally inept effort (I think both), but it is fun.

Ten things I find great about this movie:

1) The hero, Jason Fitch, steps off the plane, a scientist (80s pop star Tiffany) stops him and explains the danger of the Mega Piranha, and he believes her!

2) The hero: He never changes his expression, and always wears black. Even when he is sneaking around in broad daylight he is wearing black! There is a montage of him sneaking into the government base in daylight, and at one point he is about ten feet up, straddling the pathway (and dressed in black), and the guards do not even see him.

3) Fitch lying on his back and using bicycle kicks to fend off the attacking Mega Piranha.

4) Another reviewer noted the inconsistancies of the background shots from out of the car windows, but what about the jungle? The river where the Mega Piranha live is surrounded by dense jungle; but when the two scientists visit it it is scrub and looks like the hills surrounding Los Angeles.

5) Regarding the two scientists, I love the part when they watch a Venezuelan soldier being eaten by the Mega Piranha. There are several cuts between the attack and one horrified scientist trying to run and help while being restrained by the other scientist. The acting and the length of the scene make it hilarious. Did they just repeat the shots of the scientists?

6) Another gaffe I did not notice reviewed is the US naval ship. From far away it looks like some kind of frigate, but when it fires, and later when it sinks, it is obviously a battleship. And why is it that in these Sy Fy movies naval personnel are allowed to have long hair (the captain has it slicked back) and no insignia on their uniforms?

7) The MEGA PIRANHA! They change size from scene to scene, they can jump out of the water and travel quite a distance (which is how they escape into the Gulf of Mexico), and they explode when they hit something! Among the delights of the movie are the shots of the Mega Piranha which did not explode: they stick out of the buildings with their tales wiggling. And of course, like its cousin the Mega Shark, the Mega Piranha can leap out of the water and grab a passing aircraft (in this case a helicopter).

8) The characters: I was rooting for the bad guy Venezuelan officer, because I don't blame him for wanting to get rid of the scientists. They caused the whole problem and we are supposed to side with them? I think Barry Williams is supposed to be the Secretary of State. I did not know that the Secretary of State micro-managed such operations. He walks around without aides or secret service and actually travels to the most dangerous area (although he is protected by the SUPER BUNKER). I can't imagine Hillary Clinton doing that.

9) The many other things: The bad guy's helicopter flys away and then, after an interval of hours, reappears out of nowhere at the end. Doesn't the helicopter need fuel? At one point the heroes do not notice Venezuelan soldiers with guns attacking them until the soldiers are about three feet away, but in the next shot the heroes have gotten away. And there is so much more...

10) Finally, there is a SUPER BUNKER on a US government oil rig type base. It is written on the screen a few times so we know that this is not just any US government bunker...it is a SUPER BUNKER!

This is so bad that it had to be made with tongue in cheek. Perhaps Paul Logan is acting that way as a parody of that type of character, and why, after casting 80s pop star Debbie Gibson in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, cast Tiffany in another Mega fish movie unless it is intentional? (Hey, how about Paula Abdul in Mega Barracuda?) But then there are those moments which seem legitimate, such as when Tiffany is in shock, chanting that they can't stop the Mega Piranha; her acting seems unintentionally funny. Regardless, it is fun!

I bought Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and I can't wait to buy this to have a mega double feature with mega female popstars from the 80s.

Fish with teeth that seem to be doing a few things they aren't supposed to. growing, attavcking boats, not obeying the laws of dynamite fishing - will the insanity never end!

When you look at this movie, you have to know from the beginning that this is not supposed to be taken serious. It is made by SyFy pictures, and that should say something by itself. what's more, the storyline and the acting are jumbles that tell you about things that seem to make sense in some way until you get to the ending. When you get there - then it really doesn't make sense.

All this said, i knew what I was getting into before I watched it. I knew I would see stock footage, CGI attacks, bubbles that are supposed to be fish and their predatory "boomph," and so on. I also figured on the sotory and acting bit, but I chose to go that route because they are funny a lot of the times. This was funny, too, but only for a select audience that likes bad films.

If you like bad films and fish that have some fight scenes, blow up like dynamite sometimes when they hit things (that still weirds me out), and other oddities, then check it out. Otherwise, take my 3 and take off 2, knowing you'll hate every moment of it.

The Sci-fi movie channel has out done itself with this one!!! My friends and I laughed so hard we were crying and gasping for breath! I dare you to watch this movie and see if Special Forces Jason Fitch actually has a facial expression in any scene! Barry Williams was probably the best actor in this movie, and that ain't saying much! Tiffany plays some chick with Italian heritage for all hand waving she did. And having a Toyota Camry as a get away car was genious! Be sure to look closely at the torture scene for some amazing special effects!

God bless The Asylum. Nobody makes low-budget rip-offs of major studio films like these guys - and I think Megapiranha may be their best release yet. Where else are you going to find Greg Brady (Barry Williams) as Secretary of State ordering military strikes on a foreign country with no apparent involvement by the Department of Defense or the White House? Where else can you find 80's pop sensation Tiffany playing a genetic scientist? Best of all, where else could you find humongous piranhas hurling themselves out of the water smack dab into warehouses and other buildings or snatching a helicopter right out of the air? The fact that the filmmakers didn't have the budget to make the CGI effects look even remotely real just makes a good thing even better. Little things mean a lot, as well. For instance, there's one scene where the Secretary of State is speaking to his special forces guy over the phone; it's obviously dark outside at the Secretary's Washington location, but it's the middle of the day in Venezuela. Apparently, no one thought to check Venezuela's time zone which is actually half an hour ahead of Eastern Standard Time (Chavez made the half-hour change in 2007 because he didn't like being in the same time zone as the US).

Our story begins with the US Ambassador to Venezuela joining a foreign minister and a bevy of bikini-clad young ladies on a leisurely sail through the middle of the jungle. Suddenly, a school of super piranhas attack, sinking the boat and eating everyone who was on it. Of course, no one else knows what happened. While the Venezuelan government claims it was a terrorist attack, Secretary of State Bob Grady sends his top Special Forces guy, Jason Fitch (Paul Logan), down there to find out what really happened. I like to refer to Paul Logan as "Iron-face." Apparently, at some point in his childhood he held a clenched-teeth, tough guy face for so long that his face actually froze that way, rendering him incapable of making any other facial expression whatsoever. Fitch barely makes it off the plane before he's accosted by Dr. Sarah Monroe (Tiffany) telling him the ambassador's boat was attacked by giant piranhas she had been experimenting on. Venezuela's Colonel Diaz disagrees - and remains disagreeable even after being convinced of the truth. Can Fitch and Monroe's team find a way to stop the megapiranhas - which are growing "exponentially" in size and breeding like crazy to boot - before they make it to the coast, spread out across the whole western hemisphere, and eventually take over the world?

If ever a movie begged for a "Things I Learned From This Movie" list, it is this one. Here are just a few things I learned from Megapiranha. First off, when you're trying to increase the food supply by genetically engineering larger versions of existing animals, it's probably not a good idea to include piranha on your experiment list. Megapiranhas double in size every 36 hours and can eat through sheet metal. If you're at the beach when megapiranhas attack, do not take cover in a warehouse or any other large building because the megapiranhas will fly out of the water and crash into the roofs of these large structures, immediately setting them ablaze. Your best defense against a megapiranha attack in the water is a commando knife; if you are on land and find megapiranhas flying toward you out of the water, your only hope of survival is to immediately lie down on your back and start doing bicycle kicks. If you are a government official and do not have time to order the evacuation of, say, Miami before megapiranhas will reach the shore, an imminent hurricane warning makes for the perfect cover story. The only way to stop a school of megapiranhas involves dropping armed gunmen directly in the water alongside them. Navy Seals can speak normally even with snorkels in their mouths. You can tell if there are any megapiranhas whatsoever in a large body of water simply by pointing a box that detects fish sonar at the water. If you're an American citizen and happen to be arrested in Venezuela, some little scrawny soldier is going to continuously yell at you in Spanish regardless of whether or not you understand the language - and you might be subjected to Venezuelan torture, which consists of a soldier hitting you in the head with a phone book if you refuse to give him the answers he wants to his questions.

Needless to say, this is a hilariously bad movie that I enjoyed tremendously. I wouldn't even want this movie to be given the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment because Mike and the bots couldn't make this any funnier than it already is. It was a little depressing for me to see how much Tiffany has changed since her pop princess days, but the only thing more unstoppable than a pool of gigantic piranha is time itself. I suggest you watch this movie with a bunch of your friends - I guarantee a good time will be had by all.

This is the cheesiest sci-fi movie I've seen in years! And it's soooo funny to boot! From its hilarious killer fish to its utterly horrible acting; from the horrible fast forwarding with sound effects direction. It's great comedy. You get to see 90's pop diva Tiffany try to act! Martial arts hunk Paul Logan walk like he's got hemorrhoids! Brady Bunch alum Barry Williams trying not to laugh at his inane dialogue! Flying piranha exploding on impact! I had a great time!!

I'm one for hokey and cheap "icky bug" movies, but this one has been the worst I've seen in a long time. The special effects were cheesy, the acting atrocious, and the plot simple and by the numbers. The only thing wrong at first glance was that they didn't curse a lot and there were no naked chicks that had nothing to do with the plot.

Despite all, I had a good time laughing at the movie. I didn't know at the time, but the writer/producer is in the movie and dies horribly near the beginning. Kind of a Hitchcock/Shyalaman thing. The hero does the macho thing to the hilt. His muscles bulge so much he can't touch his sides, and he struts around in a very macho "hero" kind of way. His acting wasn't that bad, but his "posing" was hammed up a bit and over the top.

Tiffany did a halfway decent job as the love interest, however you don't even know she's the actual love interest (except for being the only female in the movie) until the final scene. Huh?

The big problem is the end and how they kill the icky bugs, which are actually giant aggressive Piranhas. What they do to try and kill them is one thing. However, the way they finally accomplish it is so ludicrous, not to mention "unfinished" that you are likely to throw something at the TV set. As much as I love cheesy monster movies, when they kill the beasts in the end, there is at least a tad of logic to it. In this case, even stretching the imagination, there is no way they could have killed them all off. I won't say how, but when you get to the end, if you think I'm wrong, let me know why in the comments.

The science is completely out the window, but that is to be expected with this type of movie. I go into them expecting that, and frankly, not caring. I know enough about things to be able to tell when something is scientifically impossible and have no problem rolling with it. In this case, there was not even a modicum of real physics or real science. That is not the intent of these movies anyway, and is one reason I enjoy them so much.

I am giving it two stars because it was at least cheesy and ridiculous entertainment all the way until the final confrontation. I don't think it deserves more stars because even though there were parts of the ending I liked, it made no sense whatsoever and ruined what could have been a decent Saturday afternoon icky bug movie. Usually these movies are better than this. I could blame it on editing, except the whole premise of the ending was wrong to begin with. No amount of editing could have made a difference unless they changed the basic principle behind the final confrontation. Not recommended.

"Mega Piranha" is a lot of fun to watch. Turn off your brain, relax, and just go with it. Super-macho hero? Check. Scene change or transition? Cue the "Whoosh!" sound effect. Surface-to-surface suicide piranha squad? Check. The whole movie is completely unrealistic, of course, but that is the whole point. Three stars for being fun and taking the piranha monster-movie genre to a new level.

The characters are competent and believable enough for this movie. The piranha special effects are hilarious and effective. However, the ending is a let-down. A different, more complex ending requiring Tiffany's knowledge might have made this a four-star movie.

Tiffany's song over the end credits is a nice touch. The "Making of" and "Bloopers" features add something to the whole package.

Mega Piranha is a fun, action packed, creature movie, starring Tiffany, Paul Logan, and Barry Williams. It's fun to watch. see it with friends in the room - then hoot at the screen. You will have a great time.

Starring: Tiffany,Paul Logan and Barry Williams.
Written and Directed: Eric Forsberg.
There is not going to be a description by this critic that equals this opus,LOL !
The Killer Fish are a sight to beheld with fear !
They are Huge and getting Bigger,Sharp Teeth that can eat Steel,Helicopters(more later) and Scenery.
Helicopters,What is wrong with the Asylum ?,They must hate helicopters,Or have past bad Ju-Ju about being trapped by Volcano Ash in airports in Belize or why,Why pick on the poor helicopters...A necessary prop in most B-films since day one of drive-ins.
Tiffany- OK sister you pulled this performance out of some orifice,Thanks.
Paul Logan-So,Next time you'll have even more to do as you take over `The Expendable' job of Action Hero.
Barry Williams aka Elder Greg Brady,You were stoic and just governmental enough to be beleivable...thanks from a OF,Original Fan !

This movie was in my local Walmart $5.00 bin. I focused on the words, "Tiffany, nudity and adult situations." Fortunately the three did not meet. By the time Tiffany gets on the screen, the nudity is over and nothing to write home about. Like the Mega piranha, Tiffany has mutated and gotten huge, move over Sally Struthers. How big was she? She couldn't get raped in a Venezuelan prison. Likewise Paul Logan gives us his most unmemorable performance.
The special effects were so bad, I was crying out for Mega Shark. They had women on nuclear submarines with a control room that looked more like my loving room, than an actual submarine control room. The Secretary of State describes the fish as traveling in "groups" (not schools). The fish absorb nutrients through the skin, yet jump on to land to eat people. In addition to battling various sizes of poorly generated computer fish, Tiffany and Logan must also battle rogue elements of the Venezuelan army. Unless you are into camp and have plenty of glaucoma medication, you might want to take a pass on this one.