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Showing 1-10 of 327 reviews(1 star). Show all reviews
on April 29, 2015
Ending really, really sucks... When will they finish this movie...?
Did I really waste almost two whole hours of my life watching this...?
Oh crap, I did... I've got to be more careful...
Maybe fast forward to the ending and then go back and see how a movie starts...!
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on May 6, 2015
Two planets crash into each other and explode--the end! Unfortunately it took the movie 130 incredibly boring and pointless minutes getting there, with emphasis placed on "pointless." If you're into the visually stunning cinematography, watch it with the volume set to "mute" and you may spare yourself any suicidal tendencies brought on by this film. I, a visual artist myself, could not find any beauty in this film as I could not get beyond the incredibly dull dialogue and utter waste-of-my-time storyline. I just thank God I didn't pay to watch, but caught it on cable. Paying my taxes was more joyful than this film!
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VINE VOICEon June 11, 2012
There's a big difference between Art and Story. The two do not necessarily preclude each other, but in movies, filmmakers tend to favor the latter over the former. This has resulted in wave upon wave of horrible film, granted. However, favoring the former over the latter hasn't resulted in any great shakes, either. In fact, both extremes often end with bewildered or annoyed audiences. However, when a story-based film fails, detractors have a much better time of it, because you can point to plot holes, inconsistent or incomplete characters, cheesy dialogue, or pure cliche. When an "artsy" film fails, however, the explosive force between its fans and haters gains extra force because, bottom line, it comes down to taste. Likewise with this film. It has as many glowing reviews as nasty reviews, and the bottom line isn't about the beauty, artistry, or skill of the film. It's about whether or not you believe depression can be an art form. I do not.

MELANCHOLIA, as a film, is almost exactly what it sounds like. It is a 136-minute-long gaze at depression. And that's it. Seriously. No, seriously.

Do you want a story? Well, fine then. How about this? A sister planet to Earth is discovered. It is named Melancholia (oooh!) and it is headed straight for Earth. If the two planets collide, then the entire human race is doomed. Also, a girl is getting married and she's very sad. The end.

Does it seem like I'm exaggerating? I am absolutely not. Kirsten Dunst plays one of the most annoying characters of her career (and that's saying a lot). She is part of a wealthy family on a wealthy estate that is holding a wealthy wedding between her and some other wealthy people. Inexplicably, she's depressed beyond words. The movie never explains why. "Why" is not the film's motif. Instead, it patiently and lovingly follows its tortured heroine as she weeps, falls motionless to the floor, or goes and sleeps with total strangers on her wedding night. Because she's so, so, so sad, you see.

This is art?

I'll admit, Lars Von Trier IS an artist, but if this is what he's going to apply his skill to, then I want none of it. The movie begins with a pastiche of ultra-slow-motion images set to classical music. I didn't time this section, but it seemed to last nearly twenty minutes (I'm almost certainly wrong). I thought every image was gorgeous and stunning, and I immediately knew that I was going to hate the film. Why? Because it announced, at the start, that it was EXCLUSIVELY about the lavishness of the imagery. Even that I could stand if I didn't have to endure another two hours of a pretty and entitled girl crying for absolutely no reason whatsoever. C'mon, Lars! Make it about a short order cook or an oil rig worker or a fifty-year old divorcee with diabetes. Characters with complexity and powerful lives -- these are people I might be able to handle roiling in self-pity for 120 minutes. A disaffected girl who might just be too rich and coddled? Please.

I did some research, desperate to understand why such a dismal wreck would ever be conceived, let alone put to film, and I read that Lars wanted to show multiple facets of depression. In other words, he wanted to show the good and the bad, how depression might be useful or workable under certain circumstances. How could that be? Well, it turns out that it is useful to be skilled at depression when the world is going to end. End of Deep Important Message.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Yes. The world ends in the film, and part of Lars' message (if the interview is to be believed) is that Dunst's character's familiarity with abiding ennui made her especially suited to enduring the destruction of mankind. This is about the most ridiculous point a film could make, since the utter destruction of mankind renders moot the way any humans deal with it. Who freaking cares if someone deals with Earth's obliteration with suicide, grace and aplomb, selfish weeping, or some kind of drug-fueled orgy? In the end, you're left with one thing: the utter obliteration of mankind. For crying out loud, is this some kind of deep, insightful message?

I'm sorry. I probably sound bitter. I guess I am. I only bought and watched this movie after the endless praise it received from critics and friends, and when I returned to said friends with less-than-glowing remarks, I was told that I lacked patience, cared more about commercialism, or was too easily bored.

Nah. I like my movies to be about things. And if they're going to travel the path of artistic flair, I'd still like that art -- beautiful or not -- to teach me something either a) new, b) interesting, or c) profound. MELANCHOLIA's message is absolutely NONE of those things, and I will gladly debate anyone who says otherwise. You can film sadness as gorgeously as you want, but if the sadness is prompted by nothing, propelled by nothing, and ends in nothing, then the end result is exactly the same: a big, fat, zero.
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on August 20, 2015
Wasn't what I was in the mood for when I rented it. It looks very abstract and artsy from the first 10-15 minutes. There is a looming sadness in the mood of this film, like you're teetering on the edge of tragedy. If that style is for you, then you may enjoy this film. It has whimsy and free-form, loosely constrained characters who do more feeling than speaking.
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on May 2, 2015
Worst movie ever. The only thing that could have made it better is for the planet to hit 10 minutes into the movie. Boring, stupid characters and worse plot. Wish I had read the one star reviews before I wasted my time.
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on April 19, 2015
Slo mo till you can't watch no mo
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on December 25, 2015
The whole movie is played, in slow motion, during the first 10 minutes of the movie. You will spend almost three hours of your life watching a movie trying to figure out what the flip is going on and wondering if it could get any worse. By the end you are wishing for the end of the world and this senseless excuse for a movie.
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on June 14, 2015
Lars Von Trier attempts to answer the age-old question, "What is the difference between S#@% and shinola?" The answer my friends, is "Melancholia." All visuals, no plot, pacing or sense.NOBODY in this film plays an appealing or realistic character.
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on April 8, 2015
Fell asleep waiting for it to start slow motion for 10+ minutes woke up and it was still in slow motion fast forwarded it the movie never got better I shut it off not worth a free watch it was horrible
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on February 24, 2015
I guess I just didn't get it. It was boring and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I mean I got it that the main character was nuts and she had the world's worst dysfunctional family. But I couldn't figure out what it had to do with this planet. I never finished watching it, I got bored.
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