19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent book on topics rarely spoke of., January 17, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: A Member of the Club: Reflections on Life in a Racially Polarized World (Paperback)
I first heard about this book in a law student magazine. The topic of race relations has always been an interest of mine. Being a multiracial person, I feel I have a very open-minded and unbiased view on the subject. I have felt racial hatred (slurs, etc) and I have also been favorably treated on some occasions due to my mostly white appearance. When I want on amazon and saw the controversy voiced about this book, I just had to find out for myself.
First, I'd like to repudiate the review shown right below this one. The chapter "I never dated a white girl" is excellent. It's relevant, well informed, and non-racist. Pretty much the opposite of everything the previous reviewer stated. The author's observation of the many successful black men who chose to pursue white women exclusively, I suspect is even far more true today than it was in 1996 when this book was published. You see the attitude everywhere, black men who think that they are too good for black women. Some even bragging about the fact that they date only whites. It is to the point now where if you see a black man with his act together (having a job, education, etc.) and he's with a black woman, you take notice. It catches my attention. I think to myself, now here's someone who is not caught up in self-hatred.
Second. This book would be very informational to exactly the people who are least likely to read it - white bigots in middle-America. A common view among such people is that there is little, if any, racism in our society. These people (the white bigots) fool themselves into thinking that everything that they have has been earned, rather than given to them, and that anybody else (such as an impoverished black) should be able to do the same thing. The author's reception as a worker at the country club and in chapter "Harlem on My Mind" where he goes out seeking a job is illustrative of the artificial disadvantage that minorities face in the workforce.
The Nose Job. Before reading this book, I wondered why on earth would he put this chapter in here. Many people assume that buy opting for a "whiter" nose, the author is demonstrating his self-hatred and obsession on being white. This is not the case. In our society we have adopted a universal standard of beauty. The message being, the more you look like a certain ideal the more beautiful you are. Have you recently heard someone say, "He looks good for a black man?" Replace black with white, Asian, mixed-race. That's how people talk. Beauty is judged independent of race. The author states, "I shouldn't have to defend my surgery any more than those 640,000 [mostly white] patients who [undergo cosmetic surgery] each year." I agree. All of the other people who undergo cosmetic surgery are doing exactly the same thing the author did. He took steps to look more ideal, as judged by himself, as influenced by society.
My only complaint. The only thing that bothered me is that the author seems to exhibit the materialism and consumerism that has infected most of society. I get this impression from the author's relentless dropping of unnecessary materialist/consumerist information. The author has already established 1. That he grew up in a predominantly white neighbor hood, not rich, but certainly not poor, 2. That he's ivy league educated, and 3. That he's a professional who was making $105,000 per year. After all this information regarding his economic status why does he find it necessary to point out everywhere the brand of clothes he wears, the brand of cars he rides in, and type of credit cards he carries. "I removed my American Express GOLD card." (chapter 1) "She glanced at...my...RALPH LAUREN windbreaker, and white STAN SMITH tennis shoes." (chapter 12) The author mentions is horn-rimmed (presumably expensive) glasses what felt like 3-4 times in the book. After he explicitly established that he is capable of earning $105,000 per year, why is it necessary to state to the reader that he wears Paul Stuart suits?! (chapter 1) The only explanation I can think of is that the author suffers from a form of the same materialism/consumerism that he listened to Reverend Calvin Butts lecture about on Palm Sunday. (chapter 12). Secondary complaint: The only explanation I can think for including the list of ways the country club cafeteria staff shorts the customers (page 16), which undoubtedly happens at other exclusive dining establishments ("If you drop a roll on the floor...put it back in the bread warmer.") is to in a sense "put it in the face" of white rich country club members. As if to say childishly, "na, na I didn't want to be in your exclusive club anyway, because your club sucks." LOG: Was there another reason for this information?
Of the many interesting chapters in the book, I found "Harlem On My Mind" to be my favorite. Here we catch a glimpse of poverty and what life might be like in a housing project. Although he wasn't technically in a housing project a week by week tenement is probably as close as a Harvard attorney can get without committing fraud. Plus this chapter introduces the likeable character, Willie.
In conclusion, this book is an interesting account of a black professional's adventure into discovering the dichotomy of black and white and rich and poor in our society. The fact that he would even explore these issues makes me like the author, as opposed to just going around through life being as rich as possible like most people.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
ELITIST BLUES, July 10, 2005
Lawrence Graham once again makes his readers confront and reflect upon the angst of being a member of the Black elite in a society that still rejects them. He challenges Black leaders, people and civil rights organizations to become more relevent in reaching out to a new generation in the post civil rights era. He also attacks the underlying myths of affirmitive action, reminds us that in white elitist America racism is alive and well and that Black people have their own set of prejudices.
Overall Member of the Club is a good selection of his articles that rightfully throws light on those areas that Blacks talk about behind closed doors. The fact of America being racially polarized is a given and it is odd that the author comes across as being naive to this fact.
As a member of the Black upper middle-class who has punched all of the "right" tickets the author does come across as a whiner. His incessant need to be accepted by white America come across throughout the entire text and drags it down. What is it that Graham wants? What is his vision for African-Americans? How should African-Americans of means define themselves in the struggle for both equality as well as individual self-fulfillment? These are the questions that are not addressed in his book.
Member of the Club could be titled the Black Elitist Sings the Blues for certainly you hear the blues of a brother trying to make it in a society that has done him wrong.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Eye-Opener!, November 13, 2004
This review is from: A Member of the Club: Reflections on Life in a Racially Polarized World (Paperback)
I have read both of Mr. Graham's books and I have thoroughly enjoyed both. I firmly believe that he is shedding light on an aspect of the black community that has been hidden for years because people in this country can't handle the thought of there being a black elite that does not hinge on athletics and entertainment. I admire Graham for showcasing the blatant and subtle racism that continue to plague this country even today. The chapters on interracial dating, dining in certain establishments, and his time at the country club speak volumes and are especially poignant. Unlike many on this site I appreciate Graham's lack of tolerance for interracial dating. I notice that others who have responded talk of fairness and colorblind dating, but the fact of the matter is that there are MANY blacks who date whites solely because they DO think that they are better than blacks. I applaud Graham for keeping it real.
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