Customer Reviews

Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus

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This book makes presents several valuable points:

--Men believe in the adage that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
A woman, on the other hand, might say that "if it ain't broke, upgrade it."
Consequently, when a woman offers advice or criticism to a man, the man could misunderstand that she considers him inadequate.

--Men like to be considered competent, whereas women like to be cherished.
This difference could result in an misunderstanding.
When a woman asks questions such as "Do you have enough cash?" or "Did you remember your umbrella?" she is treating others as she would like to be treated, but not as a man might like to be treated.

--When men share their problems, they want solutions.
When women share their problems, they want empathy.
This difference results in situations in which a woman shares her problems, the man offers solutions, and the woman becomes angry because the man "is just not listening!"
The difference could also result in a man feeling blamed for a problem whereas in fact he is not.

--A man often wants solitude when he is thinking about a problem.
A woman should be careful not to bother a man with questions at such a time.

--A woman could have mood swings for no discernible reason.
A man should respect those mood swings and not take them personally.

--When a man wants help, he asks. When a woman wants help, she doesn't.
A woman could make a mistake by offering help when a man doesn't ask.
On the other hand, a man could make a mistake by not sensing when a woman wants help.

--Women count all gifts and favors equally, regardless of size or amount.
Many small gifts and favors are better than one large, expensive gift or favor.

--If a woman asks a man for a favor and the man hesitates, she should allow a few seconds for the hesitation rather than hastily interpreting that hesitation as a refusal.

However, this is not enough information to warrant three hundred pages.

This is among the best books that I have read on building loving male-female relationships. I gained valuable insights about men and women and this helped me to understand my moods and actions and those of my wife. I could clearly see myself being vividly described by the author. I can plainly make out where I need to change to become an understanding and caring husband without being as I always tended to be "Mr Fix-It" when my wife talks about problems or issues bothering her.

I now appreciate the value of cherishing my wife to motivate her. I no longer get surprised when I hear women expressing their feelings through various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations. I now know that men and women communicate differently; they love, think, feel and perceive things differently as though they are from different planets. The book provides useful and helpful problem solving techniques that have greatly helped me in my relationships with women.

I would like to thank John Gray for helping me to learn that my differences with my wife are normal and that the difficulties we have often experienced in our relationships have also been experienced by other couples and that these differences, when understood, help to cement strong and lasting relationships.

I, therefore, highly recommend this classic which highlight strategies for reducing tensions in relationships and strengthening love through recognizing differences between men and women.

I recommend this to anyone in a committed relationship. My husband and I each had a copy, read the chapters at the same time then discussed them; it was part of what kept our marriage together. If there's a required reading for a committed relationship this is it.

A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.

John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.

John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.

Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.

Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.

Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.

Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?

This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.

Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking

Got this book a day late so I began to worry that it hadn't got here but once it did i was ok. It's in good condition.

I was really surprised to discover how well the human mind has been portraited in this book. Highly recommendable to better understand your significant other.

John Gray teaches you in a wonderful way how men are different from women in the way they think and communicate. I always recommend this book to those, especially men, so that they can stop being confused and hurt in relationships. Did you know that men need to feel needed whereas women need to feel loved? Did you know that men are turned off from women not trusting them? Also, did you know that women's mood fluctuate like waves whereas men retreat in their "caves?" Well, you will learn much more once you read this book! I am no longer ignorant to understanding the difference in how men and women think and communicate... thanks John!

its condition is good but it came late than i expected. because delivery time changed.

I did not get the book I ordered. I will not order from Amazon.com again. This is the second time this has happened.