Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook (Hardcover)

by Drew Magary (Author) "Welcome to the next level..." (more)
Key Phrases: signature shoe, pro athlete, fantasy sports, Deeply Penetrating the Numbers, Michael Jordan, The Judgment (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"Men with Balls is funny, completely uninformative, and horrifyingly profane. In short: the perfect book." (Michael Schur, cofounder of FireJoeMorgan.com and Co-Executive Producer of The Office )

"Extremely funny. And I'm not just saying that because Drew gives me free mustache rides every Thursday." (Jay Chandrasekhar, founder of Broken Lizard and cowriter and director of Super Troopers, Club Dread, and Beerfest )

"Drew Magary possesses a keen insight into pro sports' unyielding loads of crap. Men with Balls oozes with, well, balls." (Jeff Pearlman, author of Boys Will Be Boys and The Bad Guys Won! )

"Profane, beyond naughty, and, I have to say, just damn funny." (Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights, A Prayer for the City, and Three Nights in August )

"Men with Balls is a terrifyingly astute takedown of pro sports masquerading as brilliant satire." (Stefan Fatsis, author of A Few Seconds of Panic and Word Freak )

"One of the funniest books I've ever read--the product of a meticulously demented mind. Required reading for anyone who loves sports, and any athlete who knows how to read." (Will Leitch, author of God Save the Fan and founder of Deadspin )

"I hope to one day write a book that is even comparable to Men with Balls. It is definitely a must-read." (Chris Cooley, Pro Bowl tight end, Washington Redskins )

Product Description
This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment.

This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to:

• Showboat using classical pantomime techniques
  
• Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you
  
• Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games
  
• Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both)
  
• Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet

So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1 edition (October 27, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316023078
• ISBN-13: 978-0316023078
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #191,121 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars There Will Be Balls, October 23, 2008

By	Richard Travis - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Video Review? Oh Christ, I'm so tempted to paint mouths on my balls and let them do the the whole thing. Thankfully, I don't have the technology. Or the talking balls.

This is the greatest book by a fat, gay man since the latter days of Truman Capote. In fact, if he had any literary chaps whatsoever this is the book Capote would have written.

I laughed, I cried, I masturbated furiously while wearing store-bought panties, wait....

Seriously, buy this book. Drew's a comic genius. You'll be the envy of your friends. If you had any friends. Loser.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book went balls deep., October 27, 2008

By	Matthew Chandler "Matthew Chandler" (Kansas City) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

If you are a fan of Magary's work on the blogs KSK and Deadspin, you will not be dissapointed in this book. The book basically reads like a bunch of blog posts strung together. This is a good thing. The best part of the book is that most sportsfans could have come up with it's basic premise, but only Big Daddy Balls could pull it off in such an entertaining, profane, and true fashion. I saw he described it as bathroom reading material. You would have to have eaten rotten Mexican food from a lawless border town for a week straight for this to be true. This book is hard to put down and two hour marathon bathrooms trips tend to put my legs to sleep. Buy the book and enjoy it in a comfy place. Such as your local opium den sprawled out on one of those enormous pillows.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars What was that, December 22, 2008

By	T. Gillen - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Not a bad book, entertaining at times. You will feel little to nothing when you're done, but I feel it was intended that way. If you have nothing else to do, give it a shot.