Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook and over 360,000 other books are available for Amazon Kindle – Amazon’s new wireless reading device. Learn more

 

or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
 
 
Express Checkout with PayPhrase
What's this? | Create PayPhrase
More Buying Choices
54 used & new from $3.45

Have one to sell? Sell yours here
 
   
Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook
 
 
Start reading Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don’t have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
 
  

Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "Welcome to the next level..." (more)
Key Phrases: signature shoe, pro athlete, fantasy sports, Deeply Penetrating the Numbers, Michael Jordan, The Judgment (more...)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

List Price: $16.99
Price: $11.55 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $5.44 (32%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Want it delivered Tuesday, November 24? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details
26 new from $7.58 28 used from $3.45

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
  Kindle Edition, October 27, 2008 $9.99 -- --
  Hardcover, October 26, 2008 $11.55 $7.58 $3.45

Frequently Bought Together

Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook + God Save the Fan: How Steroid Hypocrites, Soul-Sucking Suits, and a Worldwide Leader Not Named Bush Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports + Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty
Price For All Three: $34.11

Show availability and shipping details


Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

God Save the Fan: How Steroid Hypocrites, Soul-Sucking Suits, and a Worldwide Leader Not Named Bush Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports

God Save the Fan: How Steroid Hypocrites, Soul-Sucking Suits, and a Worldwide Leader Not Named Bush Have Taken the Fun Out of Sports

by Jim Cooke
3.9 out of 5 stars (32)  $11.69
The Football Fan's Manifesto

The Football Fan's Manifesto

by Michael Tunison
3.8 out of 5 stars (4)  $10.87
FreeDarko presents The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game

FreeDarko presents The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game

by Bethlehem Shoals
4.7 out of 5 stars (27)  $15.64
Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty

Boys Will Be Boys: The Glory Days and Party Nights of the Dallas Cowboys Dynasty

by Jeff Pearlman
4.4 out of 5 stars (54)  $10.87
The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy

The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy

by Bill Simmons
4.2 out of 5 stars (50)  $12.50
Explore similar items

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Men with Balls is funny, completely uninformative, and horrifyingly profane. In short: the perfect book." (Michael Schur, cofounder of FireJoeMorgan.com and Co-Executive Producer of The Office )

"Extremely funny. And I'm not just saying that because Drew gives me free mustache rides every Thursday." (Jay Chandrasekhar, founder of Broken Lizard and cowriter and director of Super Troopers, Club Dread, and Beerfest )

"Drew Magary possesses a keen insight into pro sports' unyielding loads of crap. Men with Balls oozes with, well, balls." (Jeff Pearlman, author of Boys Will Be Boys and The Bad Guys Won! )

"Profane, beyond naughty, and, I have to say, just damn funny." (Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights, A Prayer for the City, and Three Nights in August )

"Men with Balls is a terrifyingly astute takedown of pro sports masquerading as brilliant satire." (Stefan Fatsis, author of A Few Seconds of Panic and Word Freak )

"One of the funniest books I've ever read--the product of a meticulously demented mind. Required reading for anyone who loves sports, and any athlete who knows how to read." (Will Leitch, author of God Save the Fan and founder of Deadspin )

"I hope to one day write a book that is even comparable to Men with Balls. It is definitely a must-read." (Chris Cooley, Pro Bowl tight end, Washington Redskins )


Product Description

This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment.

This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to:



  • Showboat using classical pantomime techniques
  • Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you
  • Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games
  • Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both)
  • Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet

So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1 edition (October 27, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316023078
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316023078
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #25,340 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category: (What's this?)

    #36 in  Books > Entertainment > Humor > Sports

More About the Author

Drew Magary
Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Visit Amazon's Drew Magary Page

Inside This Book (learn more)

What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?


Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
 

Your tags: Add your first tag
 

 

Customer Reviews

12 Reviews
5 star:
 (7)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.0 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
26 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars There Will Be Balls, October 23, 2008
Video Review? Oh Christ, I'm so tempted to paint mouths on my balls and let them do the the whole thing. Thankfully, I don't have the technology. Or the talking balls.

This is the greatest book by a fat, gay man since the latter days of Truman Capote. In fact, if he had any literary chaps whatsoever this is the book Capote would have written.

I laughed, I cried, I masturbated furiously while wearing store-bought panties, wait....

Seriously, buy this book. Drew's a comic genius. You'll be the envy of your friends. If you had any friends. Loser.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This book went balls deep., October 27, 2008
If you are a fan of Magary's work on the blogs KSK and Deadspin, you will not be dissapointed in this book. The book basically reads like a bunch of blog posts strung together. This is a good thing. The best part of the book is that most sportsfans could have come up with it's basic premise, but only Big Daddy Balls could pull it off in such an entertaining, profane, and true fashion. I saw he described it as bathroom reading material. You would have to have eaten rotten Mexican food from a lawless border town for a week straight for this to be true. This book is hard to put down and two hour marathon bathrooms trips tend to put my legs to sleep. Buy the book and enjoy it in a comfy place. Such as your local opium den sprawled out on one of those enormous pillows.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars What was that, December 22, 2008
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
Not a bad book, entertaining at times. You will feel little to nothing when you're done, but I feel it was intended that way. If you have nothing else to do, give it a shot.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)


Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars Trite.
Once past the profanity, the blustering, and the posing, the reader is left with a set of hackneyed observations any sports fan could have reached. Read more
Published 2 months ago by John J. Nevins

5.0 out of 5 stars A Good Laugh for the Sports Fan
A solid laugh from cover to cover for any sports fan. Author Drew Magary does not worry about hurting any feelings or being politically correct as a reader will soon find out... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Joseph Justice

1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of Money and Time
Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook

This is what I call a complete waste of time and money. Hardly funny and very juvenile. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Irish Rover

4.0 out of 5 stars Tips to help us in the event we get accidentally drafted in the fourth round to the Cowboys
In a stinging survey of professional sports and the athletes that play them, Drew Magary, the blogger behind sports site Kissing Suzy Kolber, provides a handbook to help pro... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Sacramento Book Review

4.0 out of 5 stars Good vulgar fun
This book is well conceived and if you enjoy hyperbolic comedy, this is for you.
The only quibble is that if read as a novel, it can be a little repetitive (like a lot of... Read more
Published 9 months ago by J. Sawers

5.0 out of 5 stars Crude, Rude and Wonderful
Under the guise of writing a handbook for professional athletes, Drew Magary has written a wickedly funny, and very truthful satire of professional athletes, and the fans who... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Ozark

5.0 out of 5 stars In Rainbows
In Rainbows

Like a sea breeze cooling the landscape after a hot day.

Peace and Beauty.

Pure Serenity.

Drew Mamula is our Guide.
Published 13 months ago by J. Henry Waugh

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome!
Buy this book and then set aside a couple hours to read through. You will need to take a few breaks to bust out laughing. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Jevon Jaconi

5.0 out of 5 stars A great book to be a little over 1/3rd of the way through
I ordered this book a week ago and it came almost immediately. Which was unfortunate because I was hoping to have a little more time to build up unrealistic expectations for it... Read more
Published 13 months ago by John John

Only search this product's reviews



Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
SPOILER ALERT 0 June 2008
O AN HE SEXY 2 June 2008
See all 2 discussions...  
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
   




Product Information from the Amapedia Community

Beta (What's this?)


Look for Similar Items by Category


Look for Similar Items by Subject

 

Feedback

If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.
 Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
Is there any other feedback you would like to provide?

Your comments can help make our site better for everyone.


Your Recent History

 (What's this?)

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.