Customer Reviews

Men Bleed Too: A Compelling Story About One Man's Struggle to Help His Wife Fight Breast Cancer!

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"Men Bleed Too" is the most honest, graphically detailed account of a beautiful woman who lost her blessed life to the deadly disease of cancer. This book is a true story of the life and death of Barbara Brown, my sister-in-law, whose life on earth was cut way too short by the deadly disease of inflammatory breast cancer. Barbara's husband, Tom Brown, warmly portrays the life of the cancer battle through a detailed journal of her illness including his and Barb's feelings throughout the diagnosis and treatment. This book makes you feel to the core, the hardness of life when an illness strikes a family. Cancer has touched all of us in someway, but many of us don't understand the depth of what caregivers experience physically and emotionally. "Men Bleed Too" takes you through all the emotions through the eyes and heart of the patient and husband. The story is sad: but Barbara's life was far from it. She lives on with us, her family and friends in this wonderful story of total courage. This book will help others in understanding life, illness and death, but most importantly love.

Not ever having experienced a debilitating disease, this book places the reader in the midst of the chaos and heartbreak that is breast cancer. Several times throughout I had to set the book aside and continue reading it later--It was simply too much to handle.

I applaud Mr. Brown on being able to share so candidly what he experienced. It's one thing listening to a televised interview of of breast cancer patients/survivors -- but television doesn't allow the time OR cover the depth of what REALLY goes on.

Reading this journal truly opened my eyes and opened up discussions between me and my husband on what we would do if we were faced with this situation. I recommend this book to all people...ESPECIALLY those of us that have been spared such a terrible tragedy.

Having lost my first wife to cancer, I would highly recommend this book for anyone finding themselves a caretaker for their wife with cancer. It is not only a good primer guiding one through the morass of our health care system, it is an enlightening map as to the expectations of such a journey. It humanizes health care professionals and encourages us to not only question medical opinion but to gain ownership in the process to ensure positive medical care for your loved one. Tom's experience liberates men caretakers from thinking that there's is a unique experience, for it shared by countless others, who prior to this book, remained silent. It also allows men to know that it's okay to make their needs during such times, known to both their family and spouse, so that such needs, rather than be surpressed, be shared and openly dealt with to ease the pain of being a caretaker. Tom Brown guides us through his heart of darkness journey and emotional roller coaster ride with his day to day thoughts, prayers, emotions and courage in an effort to find something good in each day during his family's worst crises. It is here that the reader finds solid inspiration that allows any caretaker to move forward and make the best out of an otherwise, horrible situation. The book demonstrates how a commitment to one another, the value of nurturing a good marriage, communicating on a daily basis one's own needs, and praying can overcome any difficulty in life. Tom Brown's book elevates "her problem," to "our problem," and focuses the power of togetherness to overcome the tragedy that cancer brings to any family. It is a powerful answer to the question when cancer hits someone we love of, "why me, to the answering of that same question, of, "why not me ?" It demonstrates the true power of love and selfless dedication towards someone other than one's self and gives advice at how to arrive at such courage. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is, or who has ever been a caretaker for a wife diagnosed with cancer. In any event, it is a powerful and compelling read and a great addition to anyone's library. The book's content and message will be remembered long after the price of the book is forgotten...it is one of life's best lessons and can give us the strength to carry us through many of life's adversities.

Finally there is a book that men can read to understand what they can do to support their loved ones who are in a battle with Breast Cancer.
Written by a real "man's man" who taught at the Army War College (taught stufff about how to conquor nations & blow stuff up) yet was able to communicate some of the most insightful, sensitive and beautiful emotions tied to his love of his wife & how he helped her in her battle with Breast Cancer. Left me breathless. How can we clone this guy???
Quite simply: Doctors should give a copy of the book to all husbands/significant others of Breast Cancer patients when they deliver the diagnosis to the patient.

Reviewed by Richard R. Blake for Reader Views (11/06)

This is the story of Barbara Brown's fight with cancer as told by her husband, Thomas. In December of 1992 a cancerous tumor was discovered in Barbara's right breast. Written from a man's point of view, "Men Bleed Too" provides basic information to help the male caretaker through the process and journey of this lonely battle for the life of a loved one. The subtitle of the book sums up Thomas Brown's account, "A Compelling Story About One Man's Struggle to Help His Wife Fight Breast Cancer!"

Tom began journaling detailed events of Barbara's battle, medical care, and emotional stability in December of 1992. The journal became the focal point of his day. His entries include medical decisions, care management, medications, treatments prescribed, and the emotional roller coaster of feelings related to both the bad news and the encouraging signs of small miracles. This is a story of inner courage, strength in crisis, and of an unwavering faith.

After treatment for the original breast cancer it was discovered that Barbara had another battle to face, leukemia. The Brown's story includes discussion of treatment procedures, chemotherapy, surgery, recurrence, infections and pulmonary arrest. These detailed explanations of the disease, the treatment, medications and their side effects make this an important guide for any cancer caregiver.

I was especially touched as Thomas shared the closeness of his family relationships and of the strength he received from his sons and other family members even as he was in the process of helping them through the process of impending loss and grief.

I identified with Thomas as he shared how he handled the mundane daily routines that provide both structure and escape from facing the uncertainty of disease. As Tom tells of things like, walking the dogs, mowing the lawn, and reporting for work, he helps the reader realize they are not alone in facing the issues that accompany the role of a caregiver. After fighting the disease for nearly two years, Barbara died. Her long and determined struggle was characteristic of her strength and character as a person.

The author's desire in writing this book was to help those with loved ones battling cancer. He has succeeded in doing this by sharing his deepest emotions and intimate details of his struggle.

I appreciated Brown's honesty and openness. He is articulate and a gifted communicator. Whether facing cancer or other debilitating disease, this is a book that will provide valuable information and inspiration to help the reader meet the challenge ahead. This is an excellent guidebook and a heartwarming story.

Received book free of charge

I've been where Mr. Brown was and I can honestly say that he hit the mark with "Men Bleed Too." Although everyone's experience is different, everyone's experiences are also the same; the frustration, the worry, the loving support is all there in living color with no holding back.

It is a fascinating study of the caregiver's role and what WE go through. Most of the attention is given to the patient for good reason, but we caregivers go through a lot too. In fact, my wife told me that she would rather be her (the cancer patient) than me (the caregiver).

You will come away from this book with a much better understanding and more compassion for the caregivers - Mr. Brown did a great job capturing the essence of his experience.