Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy Used
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: This book has already been loved by someone else. It MIGHT have some wear and tear on the edges, have some markings in it, or be an ex-library book. Over-all it is still a good book at a great price! (if it is supposed to contain a CD or access code, that may be missing)
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why Hardcover – August 1, 1986

See all 12 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
"Please retry"
"Please retry"
$12.11 $0.01
Mass Market Paperback
"Please retry"
Audio, Cassette
"Please retry"


Best Books of the Month
Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 294 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam; First Edition edition (August 1, 1986)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553051350
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553051353
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (128 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #82,108 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Forward is a therapist, author, and talk-show host whose specialty is abusive relationships. This book grew out of her realization that her own marriage as well as those of many of her clients followed a pattern. Many men need to control their relationships completely and consequently are mentally (if not physically) abusive. They denigrate their partners, resent them if they have any outside interests, and become furious for trivial reasons. Women with low self-esteem are drawn to these men because they can also be charming and devoted. Forward devotes the first half of the book to an analysis of the problem, the second half to breaking the pattern and getting outside help. No bibliography, but competent and interesting, and sure to be popular. Recommended for public libraries. Margaret B. Allen, M.L.S., West Lebanon,
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc.


"Very important and much needed...This how-to book  could be a lifesaver." -- Abigail Van Buren,  "Dear Abby"

"A must  read for any woman who has ever been in a  destructive relationship." -- Sonya Friedman,  Ph.D., author of Smart Cookies Don't  Crumble

From the Paperback edition.

More About the Authors

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Very enlightening read.
Jennifer Stockwell
This book should be recommended reading for anyone in an abusive relationship (and if you even suspect yours is, it is), or who has left an abusive relationship.
Janis Ian
This book was an eye opener.
L. Hess

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

286 of 291 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 30, 2000
Format: Paperback
Finally, a book that described my relationship perfectly. So many other books address men who are physically abusive, but what about those who slowly wear you down with manipulation and subtle verbal insults - men who have great jobs, men who everyone (outside the home) think are fabulous, men who are great friends to others and great workers. I live with someone who everyone else adores, but at home he turns into Mr. Hyde. He then blames me for his change in behavior. I thought I was alone (and it was indeed my fault) until I found this book. What a difference it has made in my life. I now know, without a doubt, that his behavior is not my fault. Susan's account of how men end up resenting women is right on for this relationship. And how they redirect their childhood experiences toward their intimate partners instead of where it should be directed. One writer says she thinks these relationships can be saved. The ONLY way they can be saved is for the men to realize how they got this way and be willing to do a huge amount of work to change their behaviors towards their intimate partners. If a man cannot do this, then the relationship cannot be saved. Why waste years of your life hoping a man will change. Susan says they don't don't suffer like the women they are with and I think that is true. For the first time in my life, I developed anxiety, depression, and significant weight gain from trying to "make him see the light". I now realize that it is not worth my health to try to get a man who has deep resentment towards women to change.Read more ›
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
105 of 109 people found the following review helpful By Jill Minor on April 2, 2002
Format: Paperback
This book gave me the clarity and strength to stay out of a horrifically abusive marriage. Had I not read this, and also "Christian Men Who Hate Women," I might have gone back to my misogynistic husband. It hit me like a bolt of lightning between the eyes--finally I saw that I was never the problem, and that "forgiving" him one more time and "trusting God" and crawling back would solve nothing! In my case, the abuse and misogyny were hidden behind a facade of religiosity which was nothing but a cover for my husband's lunacy. He made me feel guilty for not being a "submissive wife" and pulled the Bible on me a lot (like other men might pull a gun on their wives and with as much malice), but this book made me see that there was no difference between my husband and rank heathen who rip their wives apart with barrages of four-letter words. His heart and intent was the same, and the results were the same--the wholesale evisceration of myself as an individual soul, personality, and essence.
I can't thank Susan Forward enough for explaining to me, in a way that I could understand, how my husband could be so wonderful one hour and so vicious the next, and that even though he claimed that he would be wonderful all the time if I would just change and be what he wanted, that was a load of crock.
I now know that my husband had every one of the warning signs that he was about to cross over into physical violence--signs such as irrational jealousy of other men and "locking me down" to prevent me from going anywhere, and that I got out in the nick of time to save myself and my children. This book whetted my appetite for more books on domestic violence which shed even more life on my hellish marriage and my need for a divorce.
Highly recommended
4 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
69 of 71 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 18, 2000
Format: Paperback
Every woman I have ever met has had at least one of these men enter their lives and undermine their self-confidence. Although I read this book many years ago, it is a benchmark against I measure all other relationship books. Every 18 year old girl should read this book, maybe their mothers too. This type of man is all too common and they are modern day vampires slowly draining the life out of their prey. My father killed my mother by grinding her down slowly day by day.She died of colon cancer to get away from my dad believing she was useless and no good, it was an untimely end, to a once self-confident, vibrante and talented women, she was 50. I got involved with one of these types of men and out of desperation I went hunting in the bookstore to find SOMETHING. I couldn't be alone in this I thought. Thanks, Susan you saved my life. These men are so charming, at first, they have such charming personalities,a dream come true, till you wake up in their nightmare. Many girls in our society have emotionally unavailable fathers and will do anything to get their fathers attention.Good grades and cartwheels just to get dad's attention and love. Those young girls replay this wound by being attracted to emotionally unavailable men. At first these men are very attentive and flattering, but it soon turns ugly.The dynamic is in place, reward and punishment. I have even SEEN and HEARD young boys teaching other boys to use the same ugly techniques as outline in this book to undermine a womans self-confedence and control her,eventually to destroy her. GET THIS BOOK.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews