Men need to know that they're not alone. And now they're not. They've got me! They also have the Guide, "Men-Get-To-Leave" and my web site menindivorce.com where we can converse and share stories and other things as well.
Men need to know, long before they get to court, that the treatment they receive from the court is very lopsided. They really need to know how to level the "Scales of Justice".
I am twice divorced and have experienced all the horrors and associated emotional turmoil. I wasn't the best husband I could have been or the worst, either.
I primarilary wrote this book to help men survive the American style of divorce. Most men don't know what to do and consequently, lose everything. The Guide shows men, through knowledge, that they have options.
I've dedicated the Guide to the victums of divorce-the children-who suffer because of adult stupidity, greed, and courts that are totally oblivious and indifferent to the preservation of the man
There are two ways men get divorced. They initiate the divorce process or it gets initiated on them. Either way, as a man, you need tons of help to just embrace the concept of divorce. Getting married was cake, getting divorced isn't. It can be like entering Hell without your Bible under your arm if you're not prepared.
Believe me, the average guy who is about to start down the road through divorce usually doesn't have a clue as to what is going to happen, what he's supposed to do and more importantly, what's really important. Most men do all the wrong things and end up getting burned in court. Believe me, I was one of those jerks and lost my shirt, the first time around. That's why I wrote the Guide so you don't have to follow in my foot steps.
First things first. You're not alone and you're about to aquire a new and great friend - me! That's right, me. I've been there twice and I'll be there for you. You'll not only have the Guide,(Men-Get-To-Leave), you'll also have my website (menindivorce.com). That means when you feel like you just can't take another step, you can email me and we can chat and discuss the situation or you may even have a situation to share that can be included in future additions of the Guide. (How many books offer personal assistance and help?)
Divorce is not something that happens in one fell swoop. More so, divorce is a series of subtle, medium, large, and even some drop dead kick-ass events that occur until you actually get to court and settle ro be judged. Because it is, you'll find the Guide to be as faithful, useful and handy as a Swiss Army Knife. The Guide was written as a "non-violent" guerrilla warfare tactical reference, to help you maximize what little good that comes from divorce, survive the ordeal, and if you have children, to insure that they mentally survive the turmoil throughout and especially, after the the divorce is final.
The design of the Guide is really slick. It's divided into "12" subject sections and layed out alphabetically. (Bankruptcy, Battered Wife's Syndrome, The Children, Child Support, The Courts, Custody, Divorce, Lawyers, Marriage Counseling, Pre/Post Nuptial Agreements, and Realities-(Yours/Hers)
(Everything I've written on a particluar subject is in "one" place, unless I refer you to item outside the guide. It's more like a Q&A thing. Ask it a question and the electronic subject finder takes you to that section and shows you a "sub" table of contents of that section. (It's fast and easy to use so you won't go crazy going through several sections to get your answers, like most books do.)
When you run into a problem or situation throughout your divorce, just go to that section of the Guide, read up on the subject of your problem to see if what's there is helpful to you and print it out, if need be. You can also go to my secure and confidential website (www.menindivorce.com) and tell me your concerns or to perhaps clearify something from the Guide. Hey, if the Guide helps you solve just "one" problem, it will have paid for itself.
Here are some snipits from the Guide to think about. Always get the best lawyer you can afford and be sure
they've got the a substantial background in divorce. (Remember-when you're going to a gun fight-take a gun!) It's very sad and and one sided that women have more help and advice available to them then you can shake a stick at Whereas, men have almost no one to share or get good advice from, least of all, lawyers. That was......until now! Throughout, I try to point out the pitfalls to be aware of and also how one sided courts are, what you'll face, what you can and can't do and what to really expect. (Most of the pitfalls I learned first hand, were the ones i didn't know about or didn't see coming because I didn't get the advice I needed from anyone)
you'll get to see many of my mistakes so you won't repeat them
Here is an abbreviated version of what I consider the "5" most important things I've learned about divorce. (See the Guide for more details)
1) The only winners are the lawyers who win financially, no matter who wins the divorce.(That's why you need "2" plans-A&B, to insure survival)
2) The courts, in general, don't care about what happens to the man. They don't see or care about the suffering of the man or that in destroying him, his destruction will ripple down through the entire family
3) The real victums of divorce are the children.
4) Men lose their butts if they don't settle early in the process....
5) For the most part, you're alone. (You work so you really have no one to talk to and your lawyer will talk to you-for a price. In addition, you'll never learn much from your lawyer bucause, like doctors, they think you could never comprehend the complexities of the courts, law and that's what you hired them for, anyway)
The best advice I can offer is that if it's at all possible, stay together and work it out-because divorce divore is so devastating to all involved. Sometimes, when it's hardest to love someone - is the time to love them the hardest!
