Customer Reviews

Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

At long last, someone that has put some common sense into the communication gap between men and women. If only I had been armed with this information years ago.

I've grown tired of all of these so called "experts" that take the liberty of telling me what I need to do or what's "wrong with me." I'm tired of these experts speaking to me like I'm in remedial relationships 101.

I am not sure why I decided to take a chance on this book, but I am glad that I did. Mr. Zinczenko has finally given me the information that I WANT to hear - What the heck is going on in a man's head! And not the author's head, for once there is a book that has some valuable research as its subject matter. He doesn't praddle on about his own beliefs, concerns or mistakes. He gives us information straight from the horses mouth (interviews with thousands of men)and lays it out in a simple, smart and entertaining book. I absolutely love the fun informational asides like "What it means when" and "Say this, not that."

Do I think this book will solve my relationship problems? I'm not sure. I will say this much. I'm much more well informed than I was before and this book has certainly given me some persepctive into what it takes to have meaningful communication with the opposite sex.

I recommend this book to anyone that is fed up with men telling us how we should feel or think. Finally, a man willing to tell us how THEY feel and think. Now that's information I can use.

Dating/Relationship Guides like Weight Loss/Dieting Guides all claim to have a great secret to impart to you...and we always fall for it. There is no secret to maintaining a healthy trim figure: eat moderately, exercise and drink water; same goes for dating guides for women. All guides will say the same thing, especially if they are written by male models whose dating pool includes every human being in the universe; look great (i.e. sexy), keep the conversation light, make him dance to your rules and reward him when he does and punish him when he doesn't, don't make it easy for him, men want to hunt...let them, never nag, make him feel like "the man", all while remaining serenely independent and ready to move on at the drop of the hat.

Fun to read, but hardly revelatory; these are the same guidelines Mom and Grandma lived by back in the 1950's. Nevertheless, there are some tried and true methods that are probably worth keeping in mind when you venture out with a new man.

I picked up the book after reading a review of it in O Magazine (Oprah Winfrey's publication). The book is an easy read, but the content doesn't explicity follow the chapter titles, ie. How to make a man fall in love, etc. Maybe I'm a bit too rigid, but when the book says that there are three things you can do to make man think of you as the one, and doesn't follow it with a list of three things, I feel a little letdown.

The book did, however, help hammer in some truths that I'm in denial about as a woman. The chapter on "it's not you, it's me" is 100% true. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise...and don't let your wildly optimistic side convince you otherwise, either. Even though the chapter parrots the entire premise of "He's Just Not That Into You," it never hurts hearing the cold, hard truth again.

But I was disappointed. I'm in my early twenties and multiracial, if that may help you in understanding where I'm coming from. Though I'm young, I've been divorced and remarried within that time, so needless to say, I really wanted to understand men, the good and the bad. With this book, (which I bought hardcover because I didn't want to wait the extra few weeks for the paperback, what a waste) all I felt I got was excuses.

I'm married to a very good man and this book, doesn't apply to him at all. However, it excused every bad thing I couldn't stand about my ex. Maybe I should've looked for a book written by a psychologist, not by a men's magazine editor. The thing is though, David Zinczenko, writes an excellent weekly column that I used to read via Yahoo. This is why I picked up his book in the first place. I figured it would be entertaining and informative, instead it lacked insight and offered no real advice to women. Who did you want to read this? Because the questions and answers went something like this to me.

Q. Why does my husband/boyfriend never want to go over to dinner at my parents?

A. Well most men don't like situations in which they might be uncomfortable, it's your job to be understanding because this is how a man is.

What? Are you serious? That's the way a man is and that's just is. Caveman ooga booga, testosterone, penis, football, blah blahblah.
Maybe the answers in this book were acceptable to most of you, (men I'm hoping), but for someone genuinely trying to understand a man, it fell way short.

I was looking for more in depth answers, maybe based on some studies, psychological maybe, doctor approved maybe? For example, something interesting I've learned within the past year is that men need sex to feel attached to a woman, therefore it's in a woman's best interest in a relationship to make sure they have a healthy sex life because it's an emotional need as well as a physical need. Helpful, informative, creates understanding, not just breed frustration.

I will say one new annoyance of mine in this journey in trying to understand men. One theme in this book and I've heard elsewhere in television, is the issue of masturbation. In general, it seems as though according to the "experts" women are not allowed to have any negative feelings regarding the frequency of their men's masturbation, no matter if it makes sense or not. According to these people it seems to me, I should just let him have his time, anytime of the day, whether we've had sex recently or not, shutup and just let it happen.

I thought we were done with such blatant inequality in relationships. I want to see the female counterpart of this book and if it's just as biased, then I'm just alone in the world as a person who wants true understanding between the sexes.

I picked up a copy of this book after reading the author's blog on yahoo about five things not to say on a date. To be honest, I didn't think the blog was good at all but the idea of the book seemed interesting, so I got it. I should have gone with my initial instinct. Be pretty, be alluring, it goes on and on with advice like that. The sidebars are annoying and make it feel just like a magazine. All it needs are the ads selling us what we need to be pretty and alluring. By surveying bunches of men, it doesn't get into any real depth about what they're thinking; again, just like a magazine. What are we supposed to think when the men's answers contradict each other, which happens as often as it does in, again, magazine surveys? If you want to know what really goes thru a guy's mind (and I mean really), read God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters. It delivers on what this book promises but misses and is hilarious, as well as extremely insightful and effective.

I read a lot of reviews on here before I bought this item. Quite a few of them criticize the book for little things, for example the book's layout; one complaint condemned the entire book due to the fact that it shared similarities to something one might read in a magazine! But the book was great! I finished it in 2 days! The chapters are broken up into subjects from initial attraction to commitment and even addressing the ever-popular question: "Why do men cheat?" The chapters feature anywhere between 2-4 questions asked by women and answered by the author (who also happens to be the Editor-in-chief of Men's Health magazine) along with other men of varying ages. The features within each chapter added even more helpful insight (and humor!) like the "Instead of... say this" section. The section gives practical suggestions on how to approach a subject or initiate a conversation in a way that would allow a man to understand and open up to instead of feeling threatened by. Oh, and just in case you think that this book encourages women to simply cater to a man's whim... you're wrong! It's an (albeit somewhat generalized)attempt to answer many of the Why's that cause so much confusion to women about men in an overall light-hearted, humorous tone. Beyond the stereotypical differences, this book encourages women to understand that at the end of the day, men really do want to find that special someone to cherish and get to give their heart and soul to; they just approach it differently.

This book offers nothing new. It's a compilation of a bunch of bogus magazine quotes. Probably nothing you haven't heard before. They're just all in one book now.

As the editor for MEN'S HEALTH magazine for some few years now, David Zinczenko had better know men. More than that, he has to know what's on men's minds because he's got the readers and thinkers as his audience. However, with this book he's reaching out to the women audience as well. At a little over 200 pages, you'd think that Zinczenko would be making that explantion too simple or too trite, or really not explaining the subject at all.

Instead, I found the book informative and funny. I saw myself in those pages again and again. It felt good to know that I wasn't the only one, and that there were others like me. As for the women readers, I'm sure there's a lot to learn.

With 5000 men and women polled to make up the research for this book, there were a lot of questions. Most of those tended to be what you'd expect. The surprising things were the answers the men gave. Zinczenko states that men and women really aren't that far apart in their wants and needs, then he begins to build his case quite succinctly. And that's a true trick.

This book is compact by design and reason. It's perfect for taking along during the slow periods of the day, for cursory reading when you have the time without having to commit a large part of your day. It's perfect for spot reading, looking up a question that you've always had -- or one that intrigues you. Then you can do deeper reading on the subject as well.

Best of all, Zinczenko lays it all out in bite-sized hunks, complete with sidebars on nearly every page that include topics such as "Male Mysteries", "Say This Tonight", "Wondering Woman", "What It Means When", and "Say This, Not That".

I read the book over the course of a couple days, but I know I'll be going back to read it -- or at least parts of it -- again and again. It's helped me understand more about myself, and it's given me a guide for talking about the things that are on my mind.

I bought this book for my wife in order to help her understand the mind of a man. She doesn't seem to get it after 20 years of marriage. However, I read it first just to make sure that it applied to me. I was very pleased with the book. It was "on the money" overall. There were a couple of sections that didn't apply to me, but probably once did, e.g., the section on deciphering a man's pickup line.

The material was presented in a very practical way, however, it didn't get into much depth. Depth may not be necessary as long as a woman can get a general idea of the mind of men. What I mean is that this book doesn't deal with psychology. It just gives you practical insight into how guys think.

I did hope that the book would cover specific topics for married men. Most of the examples and illustrations seemed to involve boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in my opinion -- though I wasn't necessarily keeping count. It just felt that way to me.

If you are looking for a book to give to your wife so that she could understand men better and therefore understand you, then I highly recommend this book. I was really anxious to read it when I first got it just to see how accurate it was from my own thinking and I was pleased that it really did describe me and my thinking patterns. I guess that means that I'm a typical guy. Whoa!

Now hopefully my wife will read it. The ultimate goal is to improve our relationship. Not that we have a bad marriage or anything like that. There are many issues that persist that I feel could be resolved if my wife just understood how I think so that she would hopefully be able to communicate with me more effectively. I would like to do the same for her. Again. This was a very good book.

I think this book is touted as the end all be all of books women need to better understand men. I believe I learned more from "He's Just Not that Into You" than I did from this book. Save your money!