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Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart Paperback – January 20, 2004


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Frequently Bought Together

Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart + He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships + Getting to Commitment: Overcoming the 8 Greatest Obstacles to Lasting Connection (And Finding the Courage to Love)
Price for all three: $33.55

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 235 pages
  • Publisher: M. Evans & Company (January 20, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0871319993
  • ISBN-13: 978-0871319999
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (228 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #132,648 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Steven Carter lives in Los Angles, California. Julia Sokol lives in Bristol, Rhode Island.

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Customer Reviews

This book will help you change that.
profofpen
This book explained to me that when a man who fears commitment gets close to you, he can't stand it, and he 'runs' away.
Be Free
This book, made my crazy and hurtful relationship make sense.
ANGELA

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

98 of 101 people found the following review helpful By SMB on January 31, 2000
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I have read this book three times. Each time I find more information and it further explains my ex-boyfriend as he has through the years let out more of his Commitmentphobic tendencies. This book really hits the nail on the head with this problem. It's like the authors monitored your whole relationship and are now writing about your whole crazy situation! Which helps because reading this lets you know you aren't crazy and to stop beating yourself up over all of the issues the Commitmentphobic person has created. Depending on where you are in your life these relationships could destroy you and everything you have worked for personally and this book could be your saving grace. It doesn't place a lot of nasty blame or finger pointing on the man, it explains Commitmentphobia; it is a real problem! Believe me after he promised counseling and made super romantic attempts to be with me I went back to him each time, after two years we are apart again. Hence this is the third time I have read this book and hopefully the last. It all takes time to sink in I think, no matter how strong you are. Read it whenever you need it to keep your head out of the haze they create and to keep your self-esteem in tact. While reading through the book you will find yourself highlighting nearly the whole book, checking off every sign in the different stages as they are explained. The best money you will ever spend if this is your situation!
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90 of 94 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 22, 2000
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This is an important book for anyone who is suffering the fallout of a fairy tale beginning of a relationship. I recently found myself engaged after only 4 months of dating (and I am someone that ALL my friends call overly-cautious where men are concerned). He was everything I ever wanted in a man....or so I thought. Things were great until a ring was purchased. All of a sudden, nothing I wanted or needed in life mattered to this man, nothing I did was right and I began to feel like I had no business breathing. It was like being hit by a bus head on. I walked around shell-shocked for days..pleading with him to please talk to me....what happened? Thank goodness for this book. I started reading this book with the hope that things would work out between us but by the end I no longer WANTED things to 'work out' with this man. When I read the line "would you let a friend treat you like this?" I thought....NO WAY. If a friend did to me what he's done, that person would be written off my list. I do think that one should not read this book and believe that all the commitment problems are his. NOTHING happens in our lives by accident. If you are in a world of hurt because of a relationship THIS IS THE BOOK TO READ!
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50 of 51 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 22, 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This book was entirely responsible for turning me from a tormented soul trying to save a lost cause into a human being confident that she IS worthy of being loved--by someone else.
This amazing book accurately chronicled, word for word, detail by detail, phase by phase, every particular of my man's behavior in our nine-year relationship. I had always dismissed any possibility that his behavior could be caused by fear of commitment, because I never asked him for any commitment. So imagine my surprise to discover that he is a walking cliché of the phenomenon, and how enlightening it was to understand that I didn't have to press him for commitment in order to trigger the panic; he could do it to himself.
I found it funny, curiously refreshing, and amazingly healing, to be given a logical explanation for all his illogical behavior, and to be finally freed from the "why me" and "what did I do" torment.
The book uncovered *dozens* of things he has done and provided explanations for all of it: why he fled whenever the relationship was really GOOD and we were really having fun together... why he denigrated me for things he had previously admired... why he sabotaged the good times... why he perceived me to be unfaithful... why he proposed marriage, unsolicited, then immediately started pursuing another woman, and flaunted it... why he was so mean-spirited, yet still claimed to love me and want the relationship to continue forever... why he dumped me, then reeled me in, again and again... why he specified conditions that I needed to meet for the relationship, yet it was never good enough... why he kept promising to give or return things of value to me, but never actually delivered...
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83 of 88 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 7, 2001
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I sat in tears at the library reading this book because it was like reading my life. It was so reassuring to know that there are other women who have suffered as much just because we give our love so freely and unconditionally. It was a review of this book that made me go out and read it immediately. She had written about exactly what I was going through. Age seems not to make a difference. Once a commitmentphobe, always one it appears. My "soul-mate" was 20 years older than me, in his late fifties. An interesting twist on my story, is that although he had plenty of money, he never bought me a birthday, Valetine's or Christmas gift. I don't think it was so much the money, as it was his feeling that a gift would indicate commitment. He would never spend the night with me, and seemed content to talk romantically about what the future would hold - how wonderful it would be to snuggle together, couldn't wait to be together all the time, etc. He was just living in a fantasy world of no commitment, while I was seeing a rosy future, completely unaware that he was about to yank the rug out from under me. After never having a fight, always laughing, and romantic walks on the beach, he one night (after a date), announced he didn't see us with a future together. Thankfully, I had the common sense to calmly say that was all I needed to hear, and gave him his things. If you think that not crowding these men will do the trick, forget it.Read more ›
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