The Menstruating Mall [Paperback]

Carlton Mellick III (Author), Food Fortunata (Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 10, 2005

Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won't leave. Days pass, and they're still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won't allow themselves to escape. Carlton Mellick III's "The Menstruating Mall" is both a modernized take on Luis Bunuel's "The Exterminating Angel," and a parody of Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None." Featuring mock mall advertisements by retard punk hero Food Fortunata and cover art by Skin242.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"The Menstruating Mall is a true underground classic." - THE MAGAZINE OF BIZARRO FICTION

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America." - GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!" - CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"Mellick is smarter than the dumbness he tries to coat his writing in; you feel like you're reading a comic or watching MTV--but underneath there is something deeper and smarter than the cartoonish presentation before your eyes." - EUCHRID

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale." - CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Carlton Melick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist." - THE GUARDIAN

"If you like satires which are highly imaginative, subversive, gory, funny as hell and completely surreal CM3 may be your literary messiah." - RICARDO GONZALEZ DEL VALLE 

From the Back Cover

Praise for Carlton Mellick III

"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
- GOTHIC MAGAZINE

"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles... and the kinkiest fans!"
- CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of The Stupidest Angel

"If you haven't read Mellick you're not nearly perverse enough for the twenty first century."
- JACK KETCHUM, author of The Woman and The Girl Next Door

"Carlton Mellick III is one of bizarro fiction's most talented practitioners, a virtuoso of the surreal, science fictional tale."
- CORY DOCTOROW, author of Little Brother

"Bizarre, twisted, and emotionally raw--Carlton Mellick's fiction is the literary equivalent of putting your brain in a blender."
- BRIAN KEENE, author of The Rising and Dead Sea

"Carlton Mellick III exemplifies the intelligence and wit that lurks between its lurid covers. In a genre where crude titles are an art in themselves, Mellick is a true artist."
- THE GUARDIAN

"Just as Pop had Andy Warhol and Dada Tristan Tzara, the Bizarro movement has its very own P. T. Barnum-type practitioner. He's the mutton-chopped author of such books as Electric Jesus Corpse and The Menstruating Mall, the illustrator, editor, and instructor of all things Bizarro, and his name is Carlton Mellick III."
- DETAILS MAGAZINE

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 212 pages
• Publisher: Afterbirth Books (February 10, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0976631008
• ISBN-13: 978-0976631002
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #928,617 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

CARLTON MELLICK III is one of the leading authors in the bizarro fiction movement. His influences range from offbeat children's book authors such as Dr. Suess and Roald Dahl to Japanese cult directors such as Takashi Miike and Shinya Tsukamoto to trashy B-movies such as those from Troma and John Waters.

He lives in Portland, OR, where the breweries, bookstores, and strip clubs are the best in the country.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Squiggy's House Of Pudding offers Toilet-Flavored Éclairs!, August 11, 2006

By 

Schtinky "Schtinky" (California) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Menstruating Mall (Paperback)

Okay, I understand this is a obtuse book with a silly name, but the gross-out entertainment value is absolutely priceless. Carlton Mellick III is one of the most interesting, and sick, punk-authors I've ever read. From gross-out horror to cyber-punk, Mellick holds nothing back.

John is a stereotypical corporate climber and satisfied consumer. He loves shopping at the mall, until he discovers he can't leave. No one is stopping him; he simply can't bring himself to walk out the doors. At first, he believes he is afraid to get the gooey, red-rust fluid leaking from the pipes on his expensive new shoes, but as he discovers there are others just like him, others who cannot bring themselves to leave the mall, his strange compulsion turns to fear.

Ten people, stuck in the mall, and now they are alone because everyone else suddenly disappears. But being unable to leave isn't their worst problem: someone is murdering them one-by-one, and the only way to save themselves is to stop being stereotypical.

Mellick is an acquired taste, horribly demented in a talented, wickedly entertaining way; a taste you simple must sample. I can't think of many other authors able to twist reality so sickly, and still inject enough humor for some truly torturous belly chuckles.

Mellick's style is fresh and unique, using overly-simplistic prose at the beginning of the story to a wildly fantastical conclusion, Mellick paints with words and prose John's transformation from caterpillar to butterfly, stereotypical to outlandish, real to surreal. 'The Menstruating Mall' is sarcastic humor and commercial parody at its absolute finest.

You need a twisted sense of humor, and should have an appreciation for poo jokes in order to fully enjoy the illustrations of advertisements interspersed throughout the book. And don't forget, at S'Barro Pizzeria, there are amputated noses free with every purchase!

If you like gross-out horror, punk, or dark comedy, then don't miss out on this highly entertaining look into our era's perverse commercialism. I highly recommend this book, but caution those with weak constitutions to make sure there is a barf bag nearby. Enjoy!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Truth in Stereotypes, April 17, 2005

By 

Bradley (Portland, Oregon) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Menstruating Mall (Paperback)

This book was so much fun that I read it in one sitting, and this is a rarity for me.

For me, the book is a surrealist account of the evolution of mankind if we lived in a mall rather than on planet Earth.

Although I would thoroughly despise the main character if I met him in person, he is written so well that he's probably my favorite character of all the Carlton Mellick books that I've read.

And the illustrations are great!

This is one of my favorite books by this author. Carlton's writing keeps getting better and better and I foresee works of brilliance in his future.

19 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Bizarre yet uninteresting, December 21, 2005

By 

The Reader Reviews (http://www.thereaderreviews.com) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Menstruating Mall (Paperback)

Carlton Mellick III is often labeled as an author of `bizarro' fiction and his book "The Menstruating Mall" certainly is bizarre. The short novel follows a group of stereotypical individuals who one day find themselves unable to leave the mall (which happens to be menstruating) while the rest of the mall patrons are trapped outside unable to enter. The group soon discovers that one of their ensemble is a killer bent on ridding the mall of the "mundane". As the group is picked off one-by-one the stereotypical individuals begin doing outrageous, out-of-character acts trying to convince the unknown killer that they are unique individuals, not mundane stereotypes.

Mellick uses a sort of flow-of-consciousness writing style in "The Menstruating Mall" which is fast-paced and effective for the material. The book moves quickly from fairly "normal" happenings to progressively more strange, gory, and down right weird events.

Unfortunately, though it was a quick read, I didn't enjoy the book that much. By the end I felt like the point of the book had been thoroughly (and with absolutely no subtlety) been beaten into the ground. It was a simple idea drawn out through a series of "ok, what's the next most outrageous thing I can come up with" events that, though they were weird, really weren't that entertaining.

If the goal of the book was to be weird and act as (rather obvious) commentary on stereotypes then I guess it succeeded. Beyond that it really didn't do anything for me.