Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One [Paperback]

Bobb Biehl (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1997

In Mentoring, Bobb Biehl explains clearly and completely what mentors do and don't do, the nature of the mentor/protege relationship, the most common roadblocks to effective mentoring, and more to help you succeed as mentor or protege.

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Broadman & Holman Publishers (April 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 080546347X
• ISBN-13: 978-0805463477
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #626,758 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars This is an excellent book., January 27, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One (Paperback)

I liked the book because Biehl had many good ideas. Biehl believes that today's mobility has cut down on the amount of lifetime mentoring that goes on. One hundred years ago, this type of lifetime mentoring occurred often. Children on farms were mentored along side of fathers and mothers and entire families. These relationships provided instruction and encouragement over many years. Because we live in such a mobile society these relationships are becoming less frequent. In today's society people must make time to mentor each other. This requires commitment on behalf of mentor and the protege. Without this commitment to time and effort, the lifetime mentoring relationship will not survive. Many times people mentor for the good feelings they get out of helping someone else. Other times people mentor others because they are paid for it as part of their job. These people are mentoring because they get something out of it. Biehl believes mentoring is more about asking how can I help you, instead of what should I teach you. Mentoring should be a relationship with someone you like, someone you believe in, and someone you want to see succeed in life. The mentor takes on the attitude that they are there to help this person in any way possible. The mentor doesn't look to what the relationship can do for them, but what they can do for their protégé, the person they are mentoring. In ideal situation, the mentor and protégé will become friends. Biehl warned that two common problems mentoring relationships often occur are: opposite sex relations, and starting with unrealistic expectations. While mentoring relationships between the opposite sex are sometimes successful, they tend to have more problems. As Biehl states, "relations can get deep enough, fast enough that the love individuals give and receive can easily be reinterpreted into sexual dimensions. We can find ourselves attracted to a mentor or protégé of the opposite sex-even if the person isn't that physically attractive to us." I think one must remember here that Biehl is talking about a lifetime mentoring relationship. I believe that mentoring in a more common way where people only spend an hour or two together a week would not find as many problems with the opposite sex mentoring relationship. While I agree with Biehl that these relationships can open themselves up to some uncomfortable situations, I do not agree that these mentoring relationships should never be attempted. In regards to unrealistic expectations, Biehl states that many times proteges enter into the mentoring relationship with unrealistic expectations. Some proteges believe that the mentor will solve all their problems during their relationship. It can be helpful discuss expectations in the beginning of a relationship. Questions such as: What things will you talk about? How much time will you spend together, and where will you meet? By asking these questions up front, you can avoid a lot of problems with unmet expectations during your mentoring relationship.

My Overall Assessment: I agreed with Biehl that having a mentor in your business or professional setting gives the protégé a major advantage. "With a mentor's objectivity on your side, you are a bit surer that the direction you have chosen is the right one." A mentor can point you in the right direction so that many of obstacles that you would have had to learn the hard way can be avoided. "With a mentor's network on your side, you meet the people needed to get you where you are going". It is an old phrase, but I think it applies often that says, "it is not what you know, but who you know." Biehl did an informal survey of proteges for words that described successful mentors in their life. Some of the words people used were: consistent, stable, affirming, believed in me, accepted me where I was, saw me as a person of value, included me in their life, fun, a person of character, trustworthy, admired. I found that to be very telling. Notice what was not said: smart, genius,talented, or rich. It seems the people who make the most difference in our lives are the ones who care. I think I could summarize many of this books best points by saying, "when you mentor someone, the best thing you can do for them is to care about them."

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Heavy on Mentoring Mantra, Light on Biblical Content, May 9, 2003

By 

David R. Bess (Charleston, WV) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One (Paperback)

Perhaps my view of this book was biased by my reading of "As Iron Sharpens Iron" by Hendricks. His book is also on mentoring, and is far superior to this one. This volume seems to come more from the standpoint of a mentoring enthusiast rather than a saint who is set on building godly, life-transforming relationships with members of the same sex.

While overusing the term "mentoring," Biehl does give some very helpful points for developing a mentoring program in the local church. Rather than appointing mentors to protégés, he suggests developing lists of persons willing to serve in each capacity. Personal chemistry and mutual attraction then would work to bring the two together.

Hendricks work is much stronger in its treatment of mentoring. I recommend it as a first choice in learning more about this important, long-neglected biblical practice.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good quick read, great to go back to, September 8, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Mentoring: Confidence in Finding a Mentor and Becoming One (Paperback)

This gives you a great base to do mentoring, lots of things to consider about being a mentor....You can easily go back to it and assess your current mentoring relationships.