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Mermaid's Kiss And Siren's Song Paperback – June 23, 2006


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Paperback, June 23, 2006
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 194 pages
  • Publisher: BookSurge Publishing (June 23, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1419617710
  • ISBN-13: 978-1419617713
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.1 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 1.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #12,417,678 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Customer Reviews

1.5 out of 5 stars
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See all 8 customer reviews
Bottom line: Do not buy this book.
Kotep
It's rare for me to find books that are too horrible to read but I never found a book that is so bad that it's not funny,really.
Nookslider
I can't believe I'm saying this, but this book is worse than the Twilight series.
Lee

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 43 people found the following review helpful By A. Smith on June 22, 2008
Yes, that's exactly what this book is. It's a global search & replace of an existing Final Fantasy 7 fanfic that the author wrote. What possessed her to try to publish a thinly-veiled fanfiction is beyond me, but I'm going to guess it's something like being a lazy, arrogant rich kid. Just a guess, mind you. So, beyond the fact that the story is a complete waste of time for everyone involved and the author should be ashamed that she ever tried to get it published, let's move on to the actual bulk of the story.

As I said, this is a global search and replace. That's why we've got such characters as "Gamba Dumey", aka "Gamba Dumey Wallace", who's referred to in every instance by his full name(although he drops the Wallace, perhaps because he doesn't want to be too formal). There's also "Seifirote", whose name is, according to the character index in the beginning, "meaningless"(oh if that doesn't sum up this book), and who's totally NOT a cheap thinly veiled pirate-flavored ripoff of Sephiroth. Who else in this cast of merry characters? Diana, who's certainly not Tifa. Especially not some Bizarro-Tifa who's a cheap slut reminding us with Every. Single. Line. That she gets paid to have sex with people.

So, dear gentle reader, if you'd rather read this bad fanfiction without having to pay the author money for her piss-poor search & replace job, go here and enjoy. [...]

And please, for the love of all that's good, go buy a real book. I can even suggest a couple.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Nookslider on May 31, 2008
It's rare for me to find books that are too horrible to read but I never found a book that is so bad that it's not funny,really. After I took a peek at this book the writer used dog barf to describe the character's hair and bowel or stomach movement to describe the rage of the sea. seriously, is the writer really horrible at using phrases and writing or is this the most biggest prank to exist? I advise you stick with Pirates of Caribbean and be happy with it and stay away from this book for good.
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22 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Kotep on July 13, 2008
Okay, so I haven't bought this book. I looked at the tiny excerpt that was available. Oh my god. The writing is absolutely horrendous. It's as if she has no actual grasp of grammar. I'm not a very poetic person myself, but her figurative language is like someone threw up after eating imagery soup. Not to mention the strange fixation on bodily functions. This is all disregarding the fact that the characters are straight from Final Fantasy VII, just renamed. Just as a complete aside, the cover looks blurry, as if it were taken off of a Google image search or something.

Bottom line: Do not buy this book.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Kyle Kovalchek on November 2, 2009
I cannot recommend this book highly enough! It has solved all of my problems. Upon purchase, I noticed an instant improvement in my daily life. Here is but a short list of the great things it has done for me:

When put under the leg of a wobbly table, the table became steady.

Made excellent head covering during rainy days.

Pages made unrivaled kindling for fires on those blustery nights.

Good for sopping up spilled Tuscan Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl. oz., when my Shamwow wasn't available.

However, book was useless for reading, as the entire thing is a find and replace of a Final Fantasy fan fiction. One star.
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