Messages 2D - Paper [Paperback]

Matthew McKay (Author), Patrick Fanning (Author), Martha Davis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1995

Messages is the most complete and accessible guide for building communication skills available. And now it's even better. The current edition has chapters on influencing others, culture and gender, and interviewing. The chapter on listening now includes reciprocal listening for couples. Fair fighting has been rewritten to reflect recent research on anger management.

Messages is an indispensable guide for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively. We highly recommended it for therapists who wish to provide a structured training program for their clients in specific communication skills.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

A Complete Program for Effective Communication

You need strong communication skills to survive. The better able you are to communicate with others, the happier and more successful you will be. Rewarding and lucrative careers, strong and lasting friendships, meaningful and satisfying romance all hang on this one uniquely human ability. Communication is a skill that can always be improved with good information and practice. Whatever your communication needs, this book offers you real tools you can use to express yourself well and relate to others effectively.

The original Messages taught you the fundamental skills you need to communicate well. This workbook offers you exercises and scripts you can use to practice these skills and make them your own. The workbook extends the techniques of Messages to a wide range of situations: Exercises teach you to communciate with teens and children. They help facilitate partner understanding by exploring gender communication differences. Step-by-step worksheets, fill-ins, and case stories help you avoid communication pitfalls and make long-lasting, life-enhancing changes. The workbook guides you through challenging communication situations like talking through a power dynamic with a boss or a subordinate, with elders, or with people of different cultures.

· Learn to listen well, disclose information honestly, and express yourself clearly · Communicate effectively with children, teens, elders, and coworkers · Handle difficult conversations and manage conflict with poise, tact, and assertiveness · Master the art of persuasion and succeed at work, at home, and in public life · Meet new people, cultivate friendships, and relate well to the opposite gender · Speak to groups large and small with conviction and confidence

About the Author

Matthew McKay, Ph.D., is Clinical Director of Haight-Ashbury Psychological Services and in private practice in San Francisco. Dr. McKay is coauthor of several popular books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, The Anger Control Workbook, Thoughts & Feelings, Self-Esteem, The Self-Esteem Companion, The Daily Relaxer, When Anger Hurts and Couple Skills.

Martha Davis, Ph.D., is a psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry of Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Santa Clara, California, where she does individual, couple, and group psychotherapy. Dr. Davis is author of Re;lax: The Stress Reduction System, and coauthor of The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook, and Thoughts & Feelings.

Patrick Fanning is a professional writer in the mental health field. He is the author of Visualization for Change and Lifetime Weight Control and coauthor of several self-help books including Thoughts & Feelings and 50 Ways to Simplify Your Life.

Product Details

• Paperback: 310 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 2 edition (January 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572240229
• ISBN-13: 978-1572240223
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #378,041 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

100 of 104 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Communication Skills Everybody Should Have, January 29, 2002

By 

M. Bennett "distance_cyclist" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Messages 2D - Paper (Paperback)

The authors have created a very in depth but easy to read psycho analysis of poor communication skills and ways for individuals to help themselves change their attitude and methods of communicating with others.

Listening is probably the most important skill of communication that most of people lack. Many do not even think of listening as communication. I was guilty of trying to ancticipate or guess what the other person was going to say, already working out my reactive answer and therefore not hearing the last half of the conversation. It takes a bit of self control and discipline to be able to really listen.

People have a habit of not coming to the point for fear of being rejected or hurting the other persons feelings. The person giving the message learns how to take the sting out of the message by not blaming or accusing but still being direct. It is a different way of wording your sentences but I was amazed at the way this technique can defuse a tense situation.

If you find that you are sometimes missunderstood or fear of the reaction from telling your boss, wife, girlfriend or work colleague what you really think, then I would highly recommend purchasing this book. It is a great book for everybody.

93 of 101 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars In todays dysfunctional world it is a must, September 21, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Messages 2D - Paper (Paperback)

This book is amazing. I felt like they should be paying royalties because they had stolen my life. Every poor communication skill I had was in there. The funny thing was that I didn't realize they were bad until this book explained it. It is as simple as someone turning on a light.It is so basic you can start improving your communication skills immediately. It has done wonders for my girlfriend and I. Without much work at all we have been able to communicate so much more effectively and it has truly allowed our relationship to blossom. Where before would fight and totally misunderstand each other, now we know how to talk with each other and avoid all the big communication downfalls. It is neat to see these good communication habits replace very destrucive patterns. They also reinforce themselves every time you practice them. After a while they become second nature and you become amused at how you are using these effective skills so easily. I know what everyone is getting for Christmas this year.

66 of 71 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Simple but effective; good for all ages, October 25, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Messages 2D - Paper (Paperback)

This is a self-help book that cuts through all the big words and psychological concepts and gets immediately into helping you change. There is something for everybody here -- parents, teens, managers, and children. Their explanations of screwed up communication patterns are concise and their "solutions" are elegant. One of the few self-help books I have bothered to keep on my bookshelve. Worth every penny.