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Messages: The Communication Skills Book [Kindle Edition]

Matthew McKay , Martha Davis , Patrick Fanning
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)

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Print List Price: $18.95
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Paperback $13.10  
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Book Description

Many people assume that good communicators possess an intrinsic talent for speaking and listening to others, a gift that can't be learned or improved. The reality is that communication skills are developed with deliberate effort and practice, and learning to understand others and communicate your ideas more clearly will improve every facet of your life.

Now in its third edition, Messages has helped thousands of readers cultivate better relationships with friends, family members, coworkers, and partners. You'll discover new skills to help you communicate your ideas more effectively and become a better listener. Learn how to:


  • Read body language
  • Develop skills for couples communication
  • Negotiate and resolve conflicts
  • Communicate with family members
  • Handle group interactions
  • Talk to children
  • Master public speaking
  • Prepare for job interviews

Editorial Reviews


From the Publisher

The classic, best-selling communication skills book, Messages, helps readers build their communication skills in all areas of life. This guide helps readers become adept in active listening, reading body language, identifying communication styles, conflict resolution, public speaking, and more.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1804 KB
  • Print Length: 360 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 3 edition (March 3, 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0045Y27VW
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #44,074 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
30 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Its like a hand book! June 8, 2011
By hershey
If you're like me, you'll often think to yourself- "Did I say it right?" or "Could I have said it better?" or "Was there a better way to put it"

This book is organized very well, under sections listed "Basic Skills", "Conflict Skills", "Social Skills", "Family Skills", and "Public Skills". So, it gets very easy to refer to the particular type of communication reference you are interested in. I love the way the book puts forward the theory without attaching any favoritism to which technique to use at what time. For example- I used to live in denial when it comes to "listening". I always thought I`m a good listener. But, after reading the 1st chapter- I realized I use at least 5 blocks to listening - without being caught in defense arguments with myself about it. The book really communicates with you! Its easy to read & is filled with research. It lists very good examples of contaminated communication & suggestions on what could have improved it. They have a chapter on body language as well that's well written.

I haven't read the entire book- I may have covered about 70% of the reading. Most often, I use it as a reference to come back to. If you have been looking for reviews on this book, I suggest that you stop looking! Get it- you cannot go wrong. After all, communication is what you do almost all of the active time even though you don't realize it.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Even better than 30 years ago! August 20, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Many years ago I read this book from beginning to end. It has given me a host off useful awareness and tools which I have not only used throughout the years but also shared with friends and clients.
When I lent my old dog-eared copy to a friend he was apparently so enthusiastic about it that he ordered the latest, updated copy. I, in turn saw all the new stuff and ordered my own updated copy.
It does not disappoint. On the contrary, it is even better than before. No wonder, because the authors, like me, have aged and with age comes wisdom and insight( if all goes well). That is actually one of the good things about aging ;-)
I have revisited the chapters on Listening, Self Disclosure, Fair Fighting and Negotiating. I find the approaches and examples described still very helpful in my day-to-day life. I realize I am far from perfect in my own communications with others. I highly recommend this book for all who want to communicate consciously and effectively with colleagues, clients, family, friends and lovers.

Messages: The Communication Skills Book
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for communicating more effectively June 2, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you don't have this book on your list of books to read within its genre, then you're not looking at the table of contents and reading about how well everything is explained, based on other reviews and now this one. It goes into managing several types of conversations and gives you an added bonus at the end with how to deal with negotiations and interviews. I will continue to hold on to this book as a reference point for any forthcoming situation in which I must show poise, interest and experience dealing with all sorts of people and conversations.
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13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing! No Table of Contents on Kindle. June 5, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The content is excellent. The Kindle version does not have the essential Table of Contents or Index. Making the Kindle version difficult to use as a reference guide.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The kind of book that needs reading once a year October 28, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The advice and guidelines in this book are of the type that make you go "duh" -- but that you still need to be reminded of periodically. Most interpersonal issues are due to misunderstanding, misinterpretation, miscommunication, and words left unspoken or works spoken inelegantly. Digesting this book, which was assigned to me for a graduate level psychology class, is already helping me overcome these problems in my own life. I plan on keeping this in my bathroom and reading it yearly to refresh my communication skills. It's a college major in book form.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great book April 2, 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a great book. I wish everyone in the world would read this book. This book truly changed my life. I am an RN. I meet and interact with many people every day, and this book taught me the essence of communication. Thank you.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars helpful, but limited March 5, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
a basic book and that breaks down the components of communication into digestible bites. It's a helpful resource, but I found the content to be surface level.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book On Communicating April 9, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Excellent book on communication; all forms of communication. Great beeok for individuals, parents, & couples. I am a professor and a therapist. I use it with clients and als use it in teaching students counseling techniques. I recomend to almost anyone.
One of the best books written.

Dr. Patricia Wicks
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars This book is just one master price if you want ...
This book is just one master price if you want to learn something about yourself and little about people around you. It helps communicate effectively.
Published 4 days ago by Rahul Goud
5.0 out of 5 stars Great resource
Great resource for clinicians. I use this book as an add-on to CBT for various issues, and find it very clear and concise.
Published 16 days ago by Blue
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Great read
Published 18 days ago by Nitesh Arora
5.0 out of 5 stars One of my best books over years for learning communication.
I own a paper back copy since college and was one of the best books I have used over the years about communications. I am downsizing so bought the kindle version.
Published 1 month ago by wearethefuture
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book indeed
An excellent book indeed. Filled with very important information and suggestions. I do recommend this book to anyone whom would like to improve or work on their communication... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Sally
4.0 out of 5 stars Another McKay
Another in the series of McKay et al books that synthesize a bunch of materials into digestible, easy to teach materials
Published 2 months ago by dalupster
5.0 out of 5 stars Well written book on communication skills. Informative and offers ...
Well written book on communication skills. Informative and offers practical advice you can put into practice immediately. I am currently sharing the book with my coworkers.
Published 3 months ago by Jerry T. Hankins Jr.
4.0 out of 5 stars great communication skill
Excellent book to identify negative schemas and stop couples negative interaction systems in order to create healthy relationships. Read more
Published 4 months ago by marlene
5.0 out of 5 stars My Second Purchase Of This Book!
Great Book, I already own a copy and bought one for a friend.
Published 4 months ago by Jonathan
3.0 out of 5 stars i utilize as textbook in IPC class
It's okay. There are moments when you suspect that the authors believe that communication is a zero-sum game where one person is trying to get something out of communicating at... Read more
Published 4 months ago by tony penders
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More About the Author

Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He has authored and coauthored numerous books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, When Anger Hurts, and ACT on Life Not on Anger. His books combined have sold more than 2.5 million copies. McKay received his PhD in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology. In private practice, he specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety and depression.

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