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Messages: The Communication Skills Book [Kindle Edition]

Matthew McKay , Martha Davis , Patrick Fanning
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)

Digital List Price: $18.95 What's this?
Print List Price: $18.95
Kindle Price: $9.99
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Paperback $16.24  
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Book Description

Many people assume that good communicators possess an intrinsic talent for speaking and listening to others, a gift that can't be learned or improved. The reality is that communication skills are developed with deliberate effort and practice, and learning to understand others and communicate your ideas more clearly will improve every facet of your life.

Now in its third edition, Messages has helped thousands of readers cultivate better relationships with friends, family members, coworkers, and partners. You'll discover new skills to help you communicate your ideas more effectively and become a better listener. Learn how to:


  • Read body language
  • Develop skills for couples communication
  • Negotiate and resolve conflicts
  • Communicate with family members
  • Handle group interactions
  • Talk to children
  • Master public speaking
  • Prepare for job interviews

Editorial Reviews


From the Publisher

The classic, best-selling communication skills book, Messages, helps readers build their communication skills in all areas of life. This guide helps readers become adept in active listening, reading body language, identifying communication styles, conflict resolution, public speaking, and more.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1804 KB
  • Print Length: 360 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 3 edition (March 3, 2009)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0045Y27VW
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #50,346 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Its like a hand book! June 8, 2011
By hershey
If you're like me, you'll often think to yourself- "Did I say it right?" or "Could I have said it better?" or "Was there a better way to put it"

This book is organized very well, under sections listed "Basic Skills", "Conflict Skills", "Social Skills", "Family Skills", and "Public Skills". So, it gets very easy to refer to the particular type of communication reference you are interested in. I love the way the book puts forward the theory without attaching any favoritism to which technique to use at what time. For example- I used to live in denial when it comes to "listening". I always thought I`m a good listener. But, after reading the 1st chapter- I realized I use at least 5 blocks to listening - without being caught in defense arguments with myself about it. The book really communicates with you! Its easy to read & is filled with research. It lists very good examples of contaminated communication & suggestions on what could have improved it. They have a chapter on body language as well that's well written.

I haven't read the entire book- I may have covered about 70% of the reading. Most often, I use it as a reference to come back to. If you have been looking for reviews on this book, I suggest that you stop looking! Get it- you cannot go wrong. After all, communication is what you do almost all of the active time even though you don't realize it.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Even better than 30 years ago! August 20, 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Many years ago I read this book from beginning to end. It has given me a host off useful awareness and tools which I have not only used throughout the years but also shared with friends and clients.
When I lent my old dog-eared copy to a friend he was apparently so enthusiastic about it that he ordered the latest, updated copy. I, in turn saw all the new stuff and ordered my own updated copy.
It does not disappoint. On the contrary, it is even better than before. No wonder, because the authors, like me, have aged and with age comes wisdom and insight( if all goes well). That is actually one of the good things about aging ;-)
I have revisited the chapters on Listening, Self Disclosure, Fair Fighting and Negotiating. I find the approaches and examples described still very helpful in my day-to-day life. I realize I am far from perfect in my own communications with others. I highly recommend this book for all who want to communicate consciously and effectively with colleagues, clients, family, friends and lovers.

Messages: The Communication Skills Book
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars helpful, but limited March 5, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
a basic book and that breaks down the components of communication into digestible bites. It's a helpful resource, but I found the content to be surface level.
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13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing! No Table of Contents on Kindle. June 5, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The content is excellent. The Kindle version does not have the essential Table of Contents or Index. Making the Kindle version difficult to use as a reference guide.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for communicating more effectively June 2, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you don't have this book on your list of books to read within its genre, then you're not looking at the table of contents and reading about how well everything is explained, based on other reviews and now this one. It goes into managing several types of conversations and gives you an added bonus at the end with how to deal with negotiations and interviews. I will continue to hold on to this book as a reference point for any forthcoming situation in which I must show poise, interest and experience dealing with all sorts of people and conversations.
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10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great book April 2, 2009
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a great book. I wish everyone in the world would read this book. This book truly changed my life. I am an RN. I meet and interact with many people every day, and this book taught me the essence of communication. Thank you.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The kind of book that needs reading once a year October 28, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
The advice and guidelines in this book are of the type that make you go "duh" -- but that you still need to be reminded of periodically. Most interpersonal issues are due to misunderstanding, misinterpretation, miscommunication, and words left unspoken or works spoken inelegantly. Digesting this book, which was assigned to me for a graduate level psychology class, is already helping me overcome these problems in my own life. I plan on keeping this in my bathroom and reading it yearly to refresh my communication skills. It's a college major in book form.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It is a good book September 7, 2013
By Jose
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
For improving your communication skills this book is a powerful tool. Try it and you will improve your communication. Listening to...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars The Bible of Communication
I love this book! I keep it and re read it all the time. I have trouble with communication and poor communication skills had left me dissatisfied and upset in the past. Read more
Published 1 day ago by ESD16
4.0 out of 5 stars useful
quite and interesting resource... not quite what i was looking for as i wanted something for young children but nontheless it was useful.
Published 1 month ago by JANET HOLMES
4.0 out of 5 stars required reading for university
Easy to read and understand. Part of the required reading for University. Compared to other University required reading this one I definitely one of the better textbooks.
Published 1 month ago by Renee Allen
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent communication skills book
This is an excellent twchnical book that breaks down communication from a complex web of interaction to simple strands to practice. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Nancy S. Foley
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful
This offers a wide range of useful assistance to people wanting to lift their game regarding communication. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Rosie2U
5.0 out of 5 stars Communication Skills Book
excellent book and it met my need really well, I was very pleased that I had bought the book. It was well packaged and arrived in perfect condition.
Published 3 months ago by Andrea Thomson
5.0 out of 5 stars Messages, Matthew McKay
I respect this author and always appreciate his writings and find them refreshing and creative and use some of the ideas with my clients. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Marta Lubinsky
4.0 out of 5 stars Great !
I found this Book an Enlightening Informative guide for General Communication Skills. I Think Everyone Should Read this Book ! Read more
Published 5 months ago by Normajean10
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Satisfied
This book arrived in a timely manner and in new condition as advertised. The book is a great reference for social skill and communication programming.
Published 5 months ago by Lisa Steffen
5.0 out of 5 stars Great cheap textbook.
Great textbook. Easy to follow. And as far as text books go very inexpensive. I received it overnight which was great considering I had homework due the next day.
Published 6 months ago by Shannon Daugherty
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More About the Author

Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. He has authored and coauthored numerous books, including The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, Self-Esteem, Thoughts and Feelings, When Anger Hurts, and ACT on Life Not on Anger. His books combined have sold more than 2.5 million copies. McKay received his PhD in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology. In private practice, he specializes in the cognitive behavioral treatment of anxiety and depression.

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